(My wife gets PMS sometimes and has a tendency to make everything my fault. I don’t mind because I love her, but sometimes it gets out of hand. I have short, curly, black hair and my wife has very long red hair. As we’re eating dinner and watching TV, she makes an angry noise. When I look over to see why, she is scowling and stabbing her food harder than necessary.)

Me: “What’s the matter, love?! Are you okay?”

Wife: “I found a hair in my dinner. And I can’t even blame you because it’s one of mine!”

Me: “Oh, uh… I’m sorry?”

Wife: *mutters* “D*** straight you should be!”