(I was born and raised in Galway, Ireland, but I’m going to school at NYU. I work at a local restaurant in my free time.)

Me: “Hello, ladies, what’ll it be?”

Customer #1: “Wait, are you Irish?”

Me: “Well, yes?”

Customer #1: “Oh, my God! I know a guy who loves Irish girls! Let me give you his number!”

Me: “Um… I’d rather you not, actually.”

Customer #1: “Why not? Are you already taken?”

Me: “No, but I’m a lesbian.”

Customer #1: “Oh. I was all set to play matchmaker.”

(Suddenly, Customer #2, a tiny African-American girl, pipes up.)

Customer #2: “In that case, what are you doing this Saturday night?”

(We’ve been together for two years now!)