Category: Advice

Love advice is best taken lightly, if at all. Thankfully, our friends and families are armed with truckloads of it!

A Thorny Issue Of The Dead

| Salt Lake, UT, USA | Advice

(A man that a coworker and I know passes away unexpectedly. My coworker and I decide we’ll drive to the funeral, a couple of states away, to pay our respects, and then go to the office our company has in that state. We both want to see ‘Ms. B,’ a wonderful coworker who used to have a serious thing for my coworker.)

Me: “Okay, before we go see [Ms. B], we need to stop and get roses.”

Coworker: “We do?”

Me: “We do. [Ms. B] loves roses.”

Coworker: “I know.”

Me: “[Coworker], this is why you’re a bachelor.”

Coworker: “This is one of the many reasons I’m bachelor.”

(Upon presenting the roses to Ms. B, my coworker decided to joke and say he’d taken them from the funeral. Ms. B hit him before I could.)

Promise They Will Not Understand

| England, UK | Advice

(I have recently bought myself a Claddagh ring — an Irish design ring that represents love, loyalty, and friendship, worn on the ring finger and which, when worn with the heart pointing inward towards oneself, signifies that the wearer’s heart is taken. Around about the same time I pass my first anniversary with my boyfriend. The two things are not actually related, but the latter probably contributed to how many times I had the following conversation with friends and acquaintances in the following weeks.)

Friend: “Oh! Congratulations on your engagement!”

Me: “Huh? Oh, no, it’s not an engagement ring… It’s just a ring you wear on that finger.”

Friend: “So, it’s a promise ring?”

Me: “No, you can wear one even if you’re single, but wearing it up this way.” *points to design* “With the heart pointing inward signifies that you’re in a relationship.”

Friend: *blank stare*

Me: *sigh* “You know what? Close enough. Yes. It’s a promise ring.”

(Considering that Celtic, Irish, and Scottish jewellery designs are common in the UK and I see a lot of people wearing these rings, I was kind of surprised at how few people actually knew what they were…)

Love Comes In All Shapes And Guises

| San Jose, CA, USA | Advice

(My best friend at work and I have been with our respective partners for years. Somehow we get on the topic of relationship milestones.)

Me: “Yeah, the first time [Boyfriend] told me he loved me was after we’d spent about six weeks together… He got super drunk on Halloween when we were hanging out with a friend, called another of our friends asking him to come over so he could ‘talk about his feelings,’ cried a lot, and rambled on for about five minutes about how he loved me and he knew I was it right away. And the next morning, he didn’t remember any of it.”

Friend: “Did the friend come?”

Me:Yes. So we all happily told him about how hilariously sloppy drunk he was the next day. We mutually agreed to not acknowledge he said it because it was way too early and weird. Though now it’s what, seven years later? So I guess it turned out okay.”

Friend: “Yeah… That might be almost as bad as the first time I told [Girlfriend] I loved her. It was in a letter.”

Me: “What’s wrong with that?”

Friend: “That I sent from jail.”

Me: *laughs* “I’m so proud of you.”

Friend: “I mean, she’d said it before! It just took me a long time to come around to saying it, but… I wasn’t home to say it to her in person.”

Me: “If it helps, the second time [Boyfriend] told me he loved me was also an accident. We were talking on the phone which we almost never do, and when he went to hang up his mouth went on autopilot and he said ‘Love you, Mom!'”

Friend: *cracks up* “Okay, now I think he wins.”

Selfishness In Bloom

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Advice

(When my then-boyfriend, now-husband were dating, he sent me a beautiful bouquet of roses for our first Valentine’s Day. They were delivered to my office, and this happened.)

Coworker: “Nice flowers.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Coworker: “You know… [Other Coworker] didn’t get any flowers for Valentine’s Day. She hinted and hinted, but her husband didn’t send her any.”

Me: “Oh. That’s too bad.”

Coworker: “So…” *gives me expectant look*

Me: “Yes…?”

Coworker: “So, you should give her some of yours.”

Me: “What? I’m not going to do that.”

Coworker: “Why not? You’ve got so many! You won’t miss them, and they’ll make her happy.”

Me: “Because they’re MY flowers. If you want her to have some, buy her some yourself.”

Coworker: “I can’t believe you’re being so selfish!”

All Relationships Have Their Complications

| PA, USA | Advice

(My sister just found out that two of her friends got into a relationship.)

Sister: “So you know how I texted [Guy Friend] to say congrats on the relationship with [Girl Friend]? He just texted me back and said ‘not really.’ So now I’m confused, because it’s on Facebook that they’re in a relationship.”

Me: “I think she could say she’s ‘in a relationship’ without him, but I think for her to say she’s ‘in a relationship with him’ he has to approve it.”

Sister: “Exactly.”

Me: “Maybe she blackmailed him into accepting her Facebook relationship? Brings a new meaning to ‘It’s complicated’…”

Page 1/1812345...Last