(I am known for always freezing. Even in summer I’ll often wear a sweater and during winter I absolutely have to have extra fluffy socks or slippers. I have several pairs that I usually rotate so only one is out, but lately I’ve been a bit sloppy. We have, albeit jokingly, talked about getting married before.)
Boyfriend: *thoughtfully* “You know, there’s a reason I can’t marry you.”
Boyfriend: “Because I know you’ll get cold feet.” *points at a pile of my socks and slippers with a proud grin*
(My boyfriend has recently started playing a popular game series which is based on a series of Polish books, which I am currently reading. I often ask him whether certain characters I read about are in the game, so he can explain their relationship to the main character better.)
Me: “Hey, babe, they’re talking about this character, [Name], and I know you talked about her too, but what is she to [Protagonist]?”
Boyfriend: “She’s his… basically she’s to him what you are to me.”
Me: “THEN WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT HIM BEING ON THE RUN FROM HER?!”
My boyfriend practices martial arts.
The first time I sleep over at his place, we are both asleep, when all of a sudden he hits he me quite hard in the forehead, waking me up.
I shoot up and look to his side but he is fast asleep. The next morning when I tell him about it, he can’t remember anything of it. But he could see a nice red spot on my forehead, suggesting I wasn’t lying or imagining things!
(My boyfriend is currently playing ‘For Honor’ on his PS3 while I’m resting my head on his shoulder and cuddling with him, watching him play. In the game, a female character decapitates a couple of knights that she thought were unfit for duty or something. I’m not much of a gamer. The following occurs maybe 30 minutes after this scene.)
Boyfriend: “So glad my girlfriend isn’t crazy.”
Me: “What? Why?”
Boyfriend: “Because she won’t cut off my head if I displease her.”
Me: “Why would I ever— Oh.”
Boyfriend: *grins at me and kisses me on the forehead before going back to the game*
Some Knight From The Game: “Don’t encourage her.”
(I keep spare change in a jar for a rainy day. Knowing this, my boyfriend gives me any change he gets and we joke about it being the “girlfriend tax.” One day we’re at the store, and the cashier gives him his change. He turns to me:)
Boyfriend: “I suppose I should pay the tax.”
(The cashier gives us a questioning look, to which I answer:)
Me: “The girlfriend tax. It’s what he pays to make me love him.”
A Taxing Relationship