Category: Boyfriend/Girlfriend

A Taxing Relationship, Part 2

| PA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(I keep spare change in a jar for a rainy day. Knowing this, my boyfriend gives me any change he gets and we joke about it being the “girlfriend tax.” One day we’re at the store, and the cashier gives him his change. He turns to me:)

Boyfriend: “I suppose I should pay the tax.”

(The cashier gives us a questioning look, to which I answer:)

Me: “The girlfriend tax. It’s what he pays to make me love him.”

A Taxing Relationship

She’s Your Breath Of The Wild

| Little Rock, AR, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(The newest Legend of Zelda game, Breath of the Wild, has recently come out and my girlfriend and I, who I have recently introduced to the game series, have been playing it heavily. We are both at work when I get this text.)

Girlfriend: “I want pizza, cuddles, and Zelda!”

Me: *grinning from ear to ear and wondering how I got so lucky*

Keeping The Spirits Of Their Relationship Alive

| Savannah, GA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My girlfriend and I are doing a pedal tour of Savannah, where we visit several bars and learn about the history of the city.)

Tour Guide: “So, why are you drinking water? Are you just not a big drinker?”

Me: “No, I don’t drink. I’m a teetotaler.”

Girlfriend: “You really need to find a better term to use than ‘teetotaler.’”

Me: “Why? It’s accurate.”

Girlfriend: “‘Teetotaler’ implies that you’re judging people for drinking.”

Me: “There’s no judgment! I don’t care if people drink; it just isn’t for me.”

Girlfriend: “Honey, if I didn’t drink, we wouldn’t be dating.”

This Whole Thing Was A Mistake

| London, England, UK | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Punny

(I’ve been bitten by something a lot lately, so I look up what draws mosquitoes in.)

Me: “So apparently mozzies are twice as likely to bite a Type O than a Type A.”

Boyfriend: “So they like mistakes?”

Me: “Huh?”

Boyfriend: “Type O. Typo.”

Me: “Really? That’s just terrible…”

We Know Who Is The Boss In This Relationship

| NC, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(I’m hanging out with my boyfriend’s family, playing a game on his PS4 while his little nephew tries to pester me. Usually, I only play on my computer or phone. I manage to get to a big boss fight.)

Boyfriend: *picking up his nephew* “Now this one’s really tough, so give ’em all you’ve got.”

(The boss turns out to be bigger and faster than my character, so I have to dart around and look for openings to attack. Finally, I squeak through with just a sliver of health left, having made it in one attempt.)

Boyfriend: “I hate you.”

Me: “What?”

Boyfriend: “It took me SIX HOURS to win that fight! How did you just…”

Me: “I’m playing it on easy!”

Boyfriend: *leans in and whispers* “So was I.”