Category: Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Can’t Take That Bach

| ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Punny

(My boyfriend and I are at school and he is packing up his locker, looking for a specific music book.)

Me: “Ready to go?”

Boyfriend: “Just a minute… Found it!” *pulls out Bach music book*

Me: *giant grin* “Soooo… you couldn’t find that book at first, right?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah?”

Me: “So it was lost… And now it’s Bach?”

Would Hate To See Dressed Down

| AB, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(I’ve just gotten home from work and see my boyfriend standing in the kitchen. He’s wearing khakis and a t-shirt.)

Me: “What are you all dressed up for?”

Boyfriend: “This is dressed up?”

Me: “Well… you’re wearing pants.”

Have Reached Critical Flirting

| USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I play Dungeons and Dragons, a game that involves rolling a 20 sided die. Rolling a 20 is a “critical hit” so you do double damage, but rolling a 1 means you fail automatically.)

Me: “I roll to kiss you!” *rolls imaginary dice* “Nat 20!”

Boyfriend: “I roll to resist!” *rolls imaginary dice* “Oh, no, a natural one!”

Me: *kisses him once* “Oh, wait, I do double damage!” *kisses him again*

Boyfriend: “That was the nerdiest flirting ever.”

Me: “Yeah, but it worked!”

Wishing For Cheese

| Cambridge, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(I am at my boyfriend’s 23rd birthday party with him and his family. I have made him a very special birthday cake and he has just blown out the candles.)

Boyfriend’s Mom: “What did you wish for?”

Boyfriend: *puts his arm around me* “I don’t need a wish. I already have everything I want and need right here.”

Me: *blushing madly* “Aww, babe…”

Boyfriend’s Mom: “That was cheesy.”

Me: “That’s okay! I love cheese!”

Game Of Life

| WI, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(I am on the phone with my boyfriend while he is playing a new video game. He’s on a side mission where he has to go kill this creature and when he gets to it, it is really huge and scary looking and he’s flipping out a bit. It hits him and causes a lot of damage with just one hit, so now he’s running away.)

Boyfriend: “Run, run, run!”

Me: “Okay, babe, here’s how ya gotta run.”

Boyfriend: “Hmm?”

Me: “Okay, so pretend that you got me pregnant and my dad found out.”

(My dad is a former marine who is very fond of his gun rights and I’m the oldest child, all three of which are daughters. Even though I’m 20 and Boyfriend is almost 19, and we’ve been dating for three years now, he might have a bit of a problem with it since we don’t even live together. We don’t want kids, for now, and probably won’t for a few years yet.)

Boyfriend: “Yikes. Well, my objective is to kill it, so I should really stop running and do that.”

Me: “Okay, then. So pretend that this monster is the boyfriend to our probably not-going-to-be-existent future daughter and you just found out he got her pregnant.”

Boyfriend: “All right, boy, let’s f****** go.”

(He — his character, anyway —  died bravely trying to defend the honor of our non-existent future daughter.)