Category: Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Seedy CD

| MD, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are cleaning up our apartment. As I am putting things away, I hear him talking to himself in the other room:)

Boyfriend: “Did I really just shut my nipple in a CD case? Through my t-shirt? Ow…”

Me: *laughing* “How?”

Boyfriend: “Not how, ow! Why are you laughing?”

Eurotrashy Lines

| PA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(I am organizing a get together with some friends and go to check in with my boyfriend about it.)

Me: “So when do you want to go over to [Friends]’ place tomorrow?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, we have to be there at 2:30 at the latest, since Eurovision starts at 3:00…”

Boyfriend: “Eurovision?”

Me: “Um, yes.”

Boyfriend: “YOU’RE a vision!”

Me: “That… was the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard.”

Get Their Juices Flowing

| Waterloo, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are preparing for exams with a study session on campus. We both live a ways off-campus, so I pack a sufficient amount of food to get us through the day without having to buy food.)

Me: *unpacking my lunch bag, pulls out a juice box* “Want a juice box?”

Boyfriend: *reading study notes* “No, I’m fine. You keep that.”

Me: “All right.” *puts it down and pulls out a second one*

Boyfriend: “Wait, you have two?”

Me: “Yeah… I packed food for both of us.”

Boyfriend: “Oh. Dibs.” *grabs juice box and goes back to his study notes*

Now There Is A Sex Position Called The Everlasting Gobstopper

| FL, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend built his lifted bed frame before we met and never got the stabilizing supports added, so it squeaks a lot. This is especially true when we’re messing around. Recently we were having sex and I’m on top. I suddenly stop and burst into giggles.)

Boyfriend: “What’s so funny?”

Me: “The bed sounds like the Everlasting Gobstopper machine.” *moves a bit to make the noise*

Boyfriend: *starts laughing too* “Oh, my god, it does!”

(We spent a moment laughing hysterically & then went right back to what we were doing. Hey, if you can’t laugh during play then where’s the fun?)

Boyfriend Won’t Save You From This Pickle

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are out at a bar after a big football game and have spent the better part of the evening drinking. I have a problem with word recollection without alcohol, but with that in the mix I sometimes fail at any sort of communication.)

Me: “Could I get an order of your fried pretzels?”

Waitress: “Uh, you know, I don’t think we have those but I could check with the kitchen staff to see if they can whip you something up.”

Me: *confused* “Are you sure? They’re on the menu.”

Waitress: “I don’t think so, but I’ll go check and be right back.”

(She leaves and returns.)

Waitress: “I’m sorry, dear, we don’t have any fried pretzels.”

Me: “What? No I want the fried pickles.”

Waitress: *looks at me like I’ve grown a third eye* “Well, those we certainly have. Sorry about the confusion.”

(She leaves.)

Me: *to boyfriend* “Why didn’t you say something?”

Boyfriend: “I mean you seemed so confident! How was I supposed to know you flubbed?”

(This is by far the most hilarious and embarrassing time this has ever happened to me, with or without alcohol.)