Category: Boyfriend/Girlfriend

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With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 21

| Santa Monica, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

Me: “You make me happy.”

Boyfriend: “You make me bacon. Which is basically the same thing.”

Related:

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 20
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 19
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 18

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Violent Pillow Talk

| FL, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend had heart surgery as baby, due to being born with two holes in his heart. Because of the surgery he has to live with a wire holding his sternum together. Should it break, he could die if not rushed to the hospital and into surgery right away. I constantly fear the wire will snap; due to this I have constant nightmares. After a really bad one, I seek comfort in my boyfriend’s arms as I listen to heart beating.)

Me: “I dreamed you died. And you blamed me. A big dog jumped on your chest like it was trampoline. I was stammering over the phone and since the operator couldn’t understand she hung up telling me to sleep it off. She thought I was drunk.”

Boyfriend: *joking to cheer me up* “What’s this b****’s name and address. I’ll jump into your head and go beat her up.”

(He proceeded to take a pillow and “beat it up” pretending it was the 911 operator from my nightmare. He did this for a good five minutes as I laughed and cried.)

Boyfriend: *looking me in the eyes* “It will never be your fault if I die.”

(Afterwards he had me snuggled up to his chest as he rubbed my back. I fell back to sleep almost instantly. To this day when I have a bad nightmare, he takes a pillow and beats it up like it’s the bad guy. The pillow has never been me, even when it should have been at times.)

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How Do You Like Dem Bitter Apples?

| BC, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are hanging out and watching funny videos online, like we usually do when we have free time.)

Me: *eating an apple and I suddenly make a strange face*

Boyfriend: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “This apple was sweet, but then I got to this half, and it suddenly got really bitter.”

Boyfriend: “Ah, yes, bitter apples. The real problems of life.”

Me: “Hey, don’t ask if you’re just gonna make fun of me.”

Boyfriend: “You’re right, I’m sorry. It probably just got bitter because you’re so sweet already, your body can’t handle anymore. It needs to balance you out.”

Me: *continues eating the apple* “That’s better.”

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A Different Kind Of Rear-End Collision

| Linköping, Sweden | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(Earlier in the day I had my first collision driving my girlfriend’s car. It was a minor one and only the front plate of her car got damaged, but she has reminded me about it the whole day. While eating supper, I drop a piece of potato on the table.)

Girlfriend: *jokingly* “Wow, I’m so proud of you.”

Me: “Hey! Be nice or I’ll ram you from behind. It wouldn’t be my first time doing that today.”

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Don’t Burst My Bubble

| Dallas, TX, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend is leaving for work and gives me a kiss on the cheek, then accidentally burps loudly in my face.)

Boyfriend: “Whoo! You’re carbonated!”