Category: Boyfriend/Girlfriend


With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 21

| Santa Monica, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

Me: “You make me happy.”

Boyfriend: “You make me bacon. Which is basically the same thing.”


With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 20
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 19
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 18


Violent Pillow Talk

| FL, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend had heart surgery as baby, due to being born with two holes in his heart. Because of the surgery he has to live with a wire holding his sternum together. Should it break, he could die if not rushed to the hospital and into surgery right away. I constantly fear the wire will snap; due to this I have constant nightmares. After a really bad one, I seek comfort in my boyfriend’s arms as I listen to heart beating.)

Me: “I dreamed you died. And you blamed me. A big dog jumped on your chest like it was trampoline. I was stammering over the phone and since the operator couldn’t understand she hung up telling me to sleep it off. She thought I was drunk.”

Boyfriend: *joking to cheer me up* “What’s this b****’s name and address. I’ll jump into your head and go beat her up.”

(He proceeded to take a pillow and “beat it up” pretending it was the 911 operator from my nightmare. He did this for a good five minutes as I laughed and cried.)

Boyfriend: *looking me in the eyes* “It will never be your fault if I die.”

(Afterwards he had me snuggled up to his chest as he rubbed my back. I fell back to sleep almost instantly. To this day when I have a bad nightmare, he takes a pillow and beats it up like it’s the bad guy. The pillow has never been me, even when it should have been at times.)


How Do You Like Dem Bitter Apples?

| BC, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are hanging out and watching funny videos online, like we usually do when we have free time.)

Me: *eating an apple and I suddenly make a strange face*

Boyfriend: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “This apple was sweet, but then I got to this half, and it suddenly got really bitter.”

Boyfriend: “Ah, yes, bitter apples. The real problems of life.”

Me: “Hey, don’t ask if you’re just gonna make fun of me.”

Boyfriend: “You’re right, I’m sorry. It probably just got bitter because you’re so sweet already, your body can’t handle anymore. It needs to balance you out.”

Me: *continues eating the apple* “That’s better.”


A Different Kind Of Rear-End Collision

| Linköping, Sweden | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(Earlier in the day I had my first collision driving my girlfriend’s car. It was a minor one and only the front plate of her car got damaged, but she has reminded me about it the whole day. While eating supper, I drop a piece of potato on the table.)

Girlfriend: *jokingly* “Wow, I’m so proud of you.”

Me: “Hey! Be nice or I’ll ram you from behind. It wouldn’t be my first time doing that today.”


Don’t Burst My Bubble

| Dallas, TX, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend is leaving for work and gives me a kiss on the cheek, then accidentally burps loudly in my face.)

Boyfriend: “Whoo! You’re carbonated!”