Category: Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Not The Top Slice Answer

| TX, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I are shopping at our local grocery store for beer. This particular beer he wants is best served with orange slices so we head for produce.)

Boyfriend: *looking at oranges* “How many slices come in an orange?”

Me: “…”

Boyfriend: *waiting for my answer*

Me: “However many you slice them into, dear.”

Boyfriend: “Oh.” *blushes*

Painting An Incriminating Picture

| IL, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend is living with his parents to save up for grad school and I am visiting him and staying with them, as I live several hours away. This happens one night while I am sitting in bed on the computer and he is using his computer at his desk.)

Me: “So after the loud, kinky sex tomorrow—”

Boyfriend: “[My Name], my mom is upstairs.”

(His mother’s office is just across the hall from my boyfriend’s room and she always has her door open.)

Me: *mortified* “…we should watch Columbo and Bob Ross.”

Lucky Number Seven

| South Africa | South Africa | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(It’s just after midnight on New Year’s Eve and my boyfriend and I are cuddling, a little tipsy and a little tired.)

Boyfriend: “My favourite number is seven.”

Me: “What about 69?”

Boyfriend: “Can we compromise on 6.9?”

Me: “And it rounds off to seven, perfect!”

Boyfriend: “Wait, I don’t like the point that separates the 6 and 9.”

Me: “That’s called the period my love.”

Home Is Where The Freudian Slip Is

| ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I have just spent New Year’s Eve together with my family. It’s about one am, and he’s heading out to his car. As always, I’m walking him out and seeing him off.)

Me: “Thanks for coming tonight, babe. I love you!”

Boyfriend: “I love you, too!”

Me: “Get home safely!”

Boyfriend: “You, too!”

Me: *laughing* “Really, love?”

Boyfriend: “Wait, what?”

Me: “I said get home safely, and you responded with, ‘you, too.’”

Boyfriend: “Oh… well, it’s a treacherous 50 feet to your front door. That’s all I’m saying!”

Your Problems Are Getting Horn In The Tooth

| Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(I’m on the couch snuggled up with my boyfriend, when he gets a look of pain on his face concerned. I turn to look at him.)

Me: “Are you okay?”

Boyfriend: “I’m horny and my tooth hurts.”

Me: “First world problems…”