Category: Dating

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

Will Be A While Before Texty Times

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Dating

(My boyfriend and I have just finished watching a video called “7 Texting Mistakes that Turn Guys Off.” Some of them were agreeable, and some were a little ridiculous.)

Me: “Well, I’ve been texting you this long and haven’t turned you off yet.”

Boyfriend: “Darling, I like our texting life just the way it is.”

Me: *sly pun grin forming* “Wait… So, you’re saying we have a good and healthy… text life?”

Boyfriend: “…”

Some Dreams Really Do Come True

| PA, USA | Dating

(It is Saturday morning, so my boyfriend and I get to sleep in. At one point early in the morning, I get up to go to the bathroom and come back, when my boyfriend mumbles at me.)

Boyfriend: *half-asleep* “What time is it?”

Me: *sleepily* “It’s 7:30. Go back to sleep.”

(We lie there for a while, and about 10 minutes later, to my surprise, my boyfriend gets up, goes to the bathroom, and then goes into his office. I go back to sleep anyway. When my alarm goes off, I get up to get ready, and he comes back in.)

Boyfriend: *teasing* “Oh, you’re finally up.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s 9:15 on a Saturday. Why did you get up so early?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t really know.”

Me: “You couldn’t go back to sleep?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know… I think it was because you told me to go back to sleep. Some stubborn part of me heard that and thought, ‘No! I won’t go back to sleep!'”

Me: “So… you did it to disagree with me?”

Boyfriend: “Maybe.”

Me: “Good to know that you like to be contrary even when you’re sleeping.”

Dating The T-1000

| USA | Dating

Girlfriend: “I always come out of things alive. Not always in one piece, but alive.”

Me: “You always mutate back into one piece eventually.”

Girlfriend: “…”

Me: “I adore you.”

You Probably Don’t Want To Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

| Canada | Advice, Dating, Popular

(My boyfriend works at his family’s business, which happens to be a very well-known business in our city and is simply known by the family surname. I am hanging out with my best friend and her husband when the topic of work comes up.)

Husband: “So where does [Boyfriend] work?”

Me: “At [Business]… He’s a [Surname].”

Husband: “[Business]? Great, another one just marrying the money!”

Best Friend: “Hey! She is not marrying money!”

Me: *thinking my friend is sticking up for me* “Thank you!”

Best Friend: “…She’s just f***ing the money!”

Me: “…”

Causing A Fuss Over The American Way

| FL, USA | Dating

(My girlfriend is getting ready to fly. We are trying to find out if she can bring a blanket and a pillow, we search for about an hour on their website to find a number to call and ask, not finding any she decides to just take it and raise a fuss if they do.)

Girlfriend: “God-d*** it! I’m technically an American! I can at least pretend like it occasionally!”

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