Category: Dating

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

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Particle Accelerated To The Punchline

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Dating

(I am texting my boyfriend about a joke I saw on the Internet.)

Me: “Why are subatomic particles Catholic?”

Boyfriend: “Because they hold mass.”

Me: “Because they have mass.”

Me: “…”

Me: “D*** IT, [Boyfriend]! I WANTED TO TELL IT!”

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You’re Asking A Lot

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Dating

(My girlfriend recently adopted a rescue cat from a shelter. The cat is very affectionate, but far lower-energy than her other cat, though the two get along wonderfully.)

Girlfriend: “[Rescue Cat] has such strong maternal instincts and behavior. I wonder if she ever had kittens?”

Me: “You could ask.”

Girlfriend: “[Rescue Cat], are you a mommy?”

Me: “…the shelter.”

Girlfriend: “Oh.”

(We both started laughing uncontrollably.)

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Knows You Like The Back-Hair Of Your Back

| Finland | Dating

(My girlfriend and I are in our thirties and live together. I have lost a lot of my head hair, and like to keep the rest trimmed down to almost nothing. My girlfriend has just given me a haircut.)

Girlfriend: “Now your back hair is longer than your head hair.”

Me: “Are you going to shave my back next?”

Girlfriend: “No, how else will I recognise you?”

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