Category: Engaged

Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

That’s Why I’m Inviting Him

| Australia | Engaged

(My fiancé and I are writing a list of potential guests to our wedding. He has decided to write his own list with his copious amounts of work friends, and is reading it aloud as he types.)

Fiancé: “[First Name] [Last name].”

Me: “What? He doesn’t even like you does he?!”

Fiancé: “Of course not.”

(I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.)

Failed This Hunger Game

| USA | Engaged, Popular

(Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I only get to see my fiancé on the weekends. I have just made it to see him after getting off work.)

Fiancé: “Yeah, I’m really hungry.”

Me: “Me, too. We really should get dinner. What do you want?”

Fiancé: “I don’t know. What do you want?”

Me: “I dunno. Food?”

Fiancé: “We’re going to starve.”

Lost That Rat Race

| TX, USA | Engaged, Popular

(My fiancé has had a mouse in his house for several weeks. He has just killed it with a BB gun. He pulls it out to show me.)

Fiancé: *thumps chest* “Me big strong hunter. Me kill rat. You little woman. You cook rat.”

Me: “If I cook it, you have to eat it.”

Fiancé: *looks at the mouse then back at me* “How about if we go out to eat?”

Can’t Break Bread With Them

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Engaged

(My fiancé just finished making chowder and said this gem.)

Fiancé: “This is like friendship bread, but it’s fish soup and all for me!”

It’s Beginning To Taste A Lot Like Christmas

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Engaged

(My fiancée and I are doing sexy-times. We’ve just cleaned up after my portion, and now it’s her turn. As we start kissing…)

Fiancée: “Why do you taste like Christmas trees?”

Me: *wondering what Christmas trees taste like, wondering why she only noticed this now when we’ve been kissing for a while, and wondering how she can taste that through her own morning breath* “…Let’s move on.”

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