Category: Engaged

Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

Can’t Stick To The Beat

| PA, USA | Engaged

(After a week-long hospital stay, my fiancée picks me up. As we make the long drive home, a song that she *REALLY* likes comes on. Unable to resist, she starts to sing along… completely off key, which isn’t unusual. I sing along as well, but on key. When the song ends, I look at her.)

Me: “Awww…my poor baby. You couldn’t carry a tune if it was Crazy-Glued to your back.”

Fiancée: *pouting* “I know I can’t sing.”

Me: “Don’t beat yourself up, baby…” *pause* That’s my job.”

Fiancée: “What?!”

Me: “Sorry… that was an apparent breakdown of my brain-mouth filter. Love me anyway?”

Fiancée: “I love you because… although I’m questioning that at this moment.”

A Love Worth Belching About

| NC, USA | Engaged

Me: *looking romantically at my fiancé* “How are you so attract—”

Fiancé: *burps in my face*

Me: “—ive”

I Am The Alpha And The Omega Of Inappropriateness

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Engaged

Fiancée: “I hate that my professors don’t know their Greek letters. My aerospace engineering prof mixing up zeta and xi, and he keeps calling omega ‘W.’”

Me: “You mentioned he’s bad at explaining what he’s talking about. Could it be he’s discussing something else that’s actually ‘W?’”

Fiancée: “Nah, it’s the angular momentum formula, and angular momentum is always omega.”

Me: “Maybe he’s talking about wangular momentum?”

Fiancée: “Heh. That sounds kind of dirty, though.”

Me: “Oh, god, it does. ‘Today we’ll be studying helicopters!’”

(“Helicopter” is a euphemism for a guy swinging certain body parts in a circle.)

Going Around In Rings

| WA, USA | Engaged

(My fiancée and I decided to buy each other our engagement rings. I am nervous about the decision even though she will love anything I choose. We are at a local shop and notice the rings.)

Fiancée: “All of these rings are beautiful!”

Me: “I agree. Can you tell me what you like about them?”

Fiancée: “Well the green gem is green, the blue one is blue.”

Me: “You know why I am asking and that those answers aren’t helpful.”

(The shopkeeper did a good job at acting professional and not laughing at us while we laughed at ourselves.)

Attack Of The Things!

| MA, USA | Engaged

(It’s a Sunday morning and I’m in my pajamas making breakfast. My fiancé comes up from behind me and puts his arms around me and starts kissing my neck.)

Me: “Well, this is nice! I’m just here doing my thing and you act like you can’t keep your hands off me.”

Fiancé: “Hey, if you’re going to do your thing, I might as well do mine!”

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