Category: Engaged

Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

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Poetry Or Bust

| CA, USA | Engaged

(I am a freelance writer who writes a poem four times a week. Sometimes, I have trouble finding inspiration for a poem, so I ask my fiancée for a prompt. Her answer, typically? “Boobs.” One night, I am struggling yet again to write a poem.)

Me: “What should I write about tonight? And don’t say boobs.”

Fiancée: “I wasn’t gonna! I wasn’t gonna say that.”

(Pause.)

Fiancée: “Well, now it’s all I’m thinking about.”

Me: *laughing hysterically*

Fiancée: “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”

(In the end, she suggested “watercolor roses.”)

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His Lead Is Crumbling

| CA, USA | Engaged, Popular

(I have just finished a long day of work and passed a CPR class. I return home to find that my fiancée has baked chocolate chip cookies, so I go to the kitchen and help myself to some deliciousness before plopping down on my computer chair and groaning.)

Me: “I’ve already eaten five cookies. Help me.”

Fiancée: “I’ve eaten four cookies… and about three cookies’ worth of dough.”

Me: “S***… That means I have to catch up with you.”

(I sprint back to the kitchen for two more cookies as my fiancée bursts out laughing.)

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What A Supersplendidiferous Valentines

| England, UK | Engaged, Popular

(My sister is getting married and my girlfriend goes along to her Hen Night (Bachelorette Party), which coincidentally falls on Valentine’s Day. Since a lot of couples will be apart for Valentine’s Day my sister thinks it will be a great idea to have everyone’s partners write Valentine’s Day messages which can be read out on the night. To make it even more interesting the messages are distributed at random among everyone attending and each person takes a turn to read the messages out loud. So whilst others wrote typical Valentine’s day messages, filled with affection and gooey, squishy declarations of love, I might have decided to go for something a little different.)

Message: “To [My Girlfriend], it is Valentine’s day and as a ridiculous man I must express my feeling for you in a ridiculous way. Which is why I will now make the person reading out this message say the following words for your amusement; Wingardium Leviosa. Honorificabilitudinitatibus. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Happy Valentine’s Day!”

(I was later told that the Maid of Honor was the one who had to read out my message and it took her five attempts to pronounce the entire list, commenting that she had had far too much wine to deal with it. My girlfriend was very amused, so mission accomplished.)

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