Category: Exes/Old Flames

Socks To Be You

| Indian Orchard, MA, USA | Exes/Old Flames

(My ex is a cop. He drives me up the wall by holding his uniform socks up to the light and peering intently at them to make sure they are the exact same shade of navy blue or black.)

Me: “If someone is close enough to tell the difference, they are too close.”

A Crushing Choice

| Wheaton, IL, USA | Crush, Exes/Old Flames

(When my boyfriend and I first met six years ago, one of my close friends had a crush on him. He ended up choosing me over her. She was upset, but ended up getting over it and asked both of us to be in her wedding when she got married this year. We are reminiscing about it.)

Me: “Well, I’m glad it all worked out the way it did. It must have been weird to decide between two fantastic ladies you hardly knew.”

Boyfriend: *shrugging* “Well, I had my choice between two brown eyed brunettes and I picked one.”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Boyfriend: “The better one! I picked the better one!”

(I still give him s*** about this.)

Seeing The Ex-tra Benefits

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Exes/Old Flames

(I’m wandering through a convention with my friend and his wife, when another girl walks past.)

Friend: “Whoa!”

Me: “What is it?”

Friend: “That was [His Ex] that just passed us.”

(I remembered hearing about this girl because she dumped him shortly before we met, and left him unable to date anyone for a year before he met his future wife.)

Me: “Oh, wow…”

Friend’s Wife: “Oh, is that [His Ex]? Excuse me for a minute.”

(She goes off to follow her. We both are concerned because she has a tendency to be vindictive towards anyone who hurts someone she cares about. She comes back a few minutes later.)

Friend: “What did you do?”

Friend’s Wife: “I had heard stories about her for years. I just wanted to see what she looked like.”

Friend: “You didn’t say or do anything?”

Friend’s Wife: “No. Why should I? And if I did, I just would have just thanked her. Because if she didn’t break your heart, we never would’ve met and got married.”

Friend: “Wow… I love you!”

Ex-treme Betting

| Reading, MA, USA | Advice, Exes/Old Flames

(At Junior Prom my ex-boyfriend and I finally manage to get over the awkwardness of our breakup and spend the whole time hanging out and dancing together, returning to our original friendship. The next day, my best friend comes up to me.)

Best Friend: “Just wanted to let you know, I won the bet.”

Me: “What bet?”

Best Friend: “Last night, [Friend #1] bet that you and [Ex] would get back together, while [Friend #2] said you wouldn’t.

Me: “Well, then I guess [Friend #2] won.”

Best Friend: “Nope, because I bet that [Ex] would want to get back together, but you wouldn’t, and he would know that and not bring it up because he still wanted to be friends and wouldn’t want to make things awkward, and you’d be oblivious to the fact the whole night.”

Me: “That is way too accurate. Stop that.”

(She was right, but thankfully my ex understood my decision to stay single and we remained friends, and he was even my platonic date to our Senior Prom. It’s nice to have a best friend who notices things you don’t.)

Ignoring The Six Red Flags

| USA | Advice, Exes/Old Flames

(My friend has been in very rocky relationship with a girl who has cheated on him on multiple occasions and he keeps taking her back. After this most recent patch, I’ve been serving as a shoulder to cry on, both literally and figuratively, while, at the same time, trying to encourage him to end it with her for good. He finally hits a point where he’s ready to throw her out when I receive a message from him.)

Friend: “Hey, just letting you know that [Girlfriend] and I are going to Six Flags tomorrow.”

Me: “What?! Just a week ago, you were ready to kick her out, and now you’re going with her to an amusement park?”

Friend: “I know it seems crazy, but I’m trying not to think about things at the moment and just have a good time.”

(I’m annoyed, but decide not to say anything further until the next day when he sends me another message.)

Friend: “[Girlfriend] just won this for me at one of the booths.”

(He sends me a picture of a Superman plushy.)

Me: *head-desk*

(They ended up getting back together only to finally break up six months later over the same issues as last time. This time, thankfully, he wasn’t as broken up about it.)

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