Category: Fights/Breakups

All relationships are like a rowboat: they all face beaching on the rocks at some point or another, especially when you’ve got two captains and no rowers.

Communication Error

| Saint Paul, MN, USA | Fights/Breakups, Marriage & Partners

Husband: “When you are angry, we shouldn’t try to talk. You should get over it and then we can talk.”

Me: *knowing that arguing won’t work, so I try a different tactic* “Okay, so we have an agreement that when one of us is angry, we won’t try to talk? We’ll just let the angry person get over it alone?”

Husband: “Well, no. We’d never communicate. One of us has to be the adult.”

Hotel Californication

| USA | Fights/Breakups

(Our hotel has a strict rule about protecting our guests’ privacy. We do not give room numbers unless they say it’s ok. A young woman of about 21 comes in. She’s wearing ripped up old stained tank top with no underwear, and she’s pale, shaking, and thin. Another woman, her friend, looks more normal and stands behind her.)

Woman: “Hello, is [Name] here?”

Me: “He is.”

Woman: “Great, which room number is he?”

Me: “We are not allowed to give out his room number.”

Woman: “But I’m his girlfriend!”

Me: “Even if you were his mother I could not.”

(Round and round we go, with the woman piping, “But I’m his girlfriend!” every time as if that would magically get her his room number. Her friend behind her starts giggling, and then becomes bored and tries to pull her away.)

Friend: “C’mon, let’s just go. They can’t give his number. We’ll find another way.”

(The young woman continues insisting I give his room number, and I keep saying no. Finally, she looks at me with a complete psychotic look in her eye, and says:)

Woman: “He’s in there with another woman, isn’t he? Isn’t he?!”

(She made her hand into a claw and tried to attack me. Security and her friend helped pull her out, yelling incoherently. I never saw her again. I reported it to my manager and he told me later that he told the guest that his girlfriend has tried to see him. He said, “What girlfriend?” and told us that he’d broken up with someone earlier that day and thanked us for protecting his privacy!)

The Grinch Who Changed Christmas… Again

| San Jose, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Fights/Breakups

(Some friends at work and I had recently discussed what we’re getting for our significant others for the holidays — I explained that as we’re onto our eighth Christmas together, my boyfriend and I stopped exchanging gifts a while back. About a week later I’m talking to one of them about the same topic; he hates the holidays but it’s his girlfriend’s favorite time of the year.)

Coworker: “She changed her mind about what she wants again. We were talking about it and I told her, ‘You know, [My Name] and [Boyfriend] don’t get each other anything and they’re perfectly happy!'”

Me: *laughing* “NO!”

Coworker: “Yeah, she got hella mad.”

Me: “I could’ve told you that would happen.”

Coworker: “I should’ve known better. So then I asked her to pay for my next tattoo as her present to me and she said ‘Sure! What are you getting?’ And I told her… The Grinch. She was like, ‘F*** you!'”

Me: *laughing*

Coworker: “So THEN she starts going on about how someday she’ll teach me to love the holidays as much as she does. So I told her ‘Well, if that happens, they just can ink over him so his heart grows three sizes, right?’ And she yelled ‘F*** YOU!’ again.”

Me: “You didn’t handle this very well.”

Coworker: “I really didn’t. Now she’s getting jewelry for Christmas.”

Me: “Until she changes her mind again?”

Coworker: “YES. THANK YOU.”

Hater Dater

| GA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Fights/Breakups

(I’m half-black. I’d lived in the south for a good portion of my life but I’d never experienced any sort of racism. I’ve just started dating this guy who would not usually be my type. He’s your stereotypical good ol’ country boy: camo, heavy boots, big truck, loves hunting. One day we’re at lunch, just talking, when this exchange happens.)

Me: “You know, you’re not my usual type but you’re cute so I thought, what the heck? Why not?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, you’re not my usual type either. In fact, I could probably never bring a n***** like you home to my parents.”

(I broke up with him at that word and he seemed absolutely shocked and had no idea why I did.)

Proven Right Time(sheet) And Time Again

| Hartford, CT, USA | Fights/Breakups, Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are looking for a blank time-sheet that he needs for work in an hour. He maintains that he gave it to me, so I must have lost it.)

Me: “You gave it to me in the car and I put it in the glove box. It was inside the other ones.”

Husband: “Babe, I checked the glove box. Twice. It. Isn’t. There.”

(We then proceed to almost literally tear the place apart looking for this time sheet but of course it isn’t in the apartment.)

Me: “Babe, go check the glove box again.”

Husband: “It isn’t in the d*** glove box, [My Name]! Why are you insisting that it’s there?!”

Me: “Because that’s the last place I remember seeing it! It’s not my fault you’re blind!”

(For the record, he has perfect vision. He just has a really bad habit of losing things right in front of his face; his cell phone in his pocket, for example.)

Husband: “It’s not in there! Now find it!”

(He goes to get ready for work and I, fed up with his bull-s***, decide to take the initiative. I pull my shoes on just as he walks into the bedroom.)

Husband: “Where are you going?”

Me: “I’m checking in the car.”

Husband: *clearly more fed up than I am* “You want me to check in the car?! Fine! I’ll check in the car!”

(He goes down the stairs to the car, even pulls it around to the bottom porch (we’re on the third floor and the topmost balcony overlooks the parking lot) to make an even bigger spectacle of my “stupidity.” I stand out on the porch, looking down at him yanking papers out of the glove box until he comes to the bunch of time sheets mentioned before.)

Husband: “Now watch.”

(I nod, not in the slightest bit upset anymore, and watch as he rifles through them and abruptly stops. He looks up at me. I raise my eyebrows. He flips me the bird and pulls the blank time sheet away from the rest of them, shoving it in his sweatshirt pocket. I go back inside to nurse our daughter. He comes in a little while later and gives me a kiss.)

Husband: “I swear I looked through those papers.”

Me: “I know.”

Husband: “You need to stop making history change itself so you can be right!”

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