Category: Flirting

God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

That Would Be On Aisle Never

| Denver, CO, USA | Flirting

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find something?”

Me: “Sure, what are you looking for?”

Customer: “Your phone number.”

Me: “You’ll find it in your dreams, honey.”

Re-orient Your Request

| England, UK | Flirting, LGBTQ

(I’m eating lunch with some friends when I girl I’ve never met before comes up to me.)

Girl: “Hi! My sister thinks you’re hot!”

Me: “Oh? Thank you.”

Girl: “Do you think she’s hot?” *points at her*

Me: “No.”

Girl: *sounding hurt* “No? You didn’t even look!”

Me: “I don’t need to. I’m gay.”

Girl: “OH… What about my brother.” *point at guy next to “sister”*

Me: “…”

flirting

Not Quite Married To That Sale

| VA, USA | Flirting

(I am on my way home after work and stop to get gas. I am tired, and just ready to get home. There is a stand set up across the parking lot on the other side of the station but I don’t pay too much attention to it. The stand is being run by two guys, an older guy and one rather young. I am female. I absently see them smile and laugh to each other before the younger of the two jogs all the way over to my car, past multiple cars pulled up to get gas just like I am. He can’t be more than 16, and while I have a baby face, I am 25.)

Guy: “Howdy, how are you doing today?”

Me: *trying to not look as tired as I feel* “Hello. I’m making it through, thanks for asking.”

Guy: “I just wanted to show you this product here.” *he holds up a rag and a can of something* “Have you heard of [Rain Product for cars]?”

Me: “Yes, of course. It’s a neat product.”

Guy: *gives me a wide grin* “Well, this stuff is even better than that! I’m sure a beautiful girl like you hates to have to wash the windows, so here, let me show you.”

(He sprays my whole windshield before I can say anything. Knowing where this is going I start to play with my wedding ring in full view, just so there are no misunderstandings. He doesn’t even glance at my finger and keeps wiping down my windows while making remarks about how pretty and beautiful I am. He finally finishes, and my car is full so I am ready to go.)

Guy: “So how about it? It’s only [price] for two cans and they last a good long time. If you want, you can come on over to the table and get some, and maybe leave your number, too.” *He wiggles his eyebrows at me. I am trying to hold my laughter.*

Me: “Well, that does look like a nice product. Let me go home and discuss it with my husband and I may come back.”

(His face fell, and he quickly walked away, not bothering to demo his product for anyone else. When he reached the table I saw the older man throw his head back in laughter and hit him on the back. I almost felt bad for the kid.)

harassment

An Introduction Destruction

| USA | Flirting, Harassment

(My sister and I are walking down the street, when we spot a bar. Everyone there is casually dressed, including me, in pants and a shirt except for my sister, who’s dressed in an evening gown and is made up and looks like an actress. She attracts the attention of a middle aged man, who makes a beeline to her.)

Man: *to sister* “Hello. I saw you enter and I felt I had to introduce myself. My name is [Man].”

(He takes my sister’s hand and kisses it. My sister is very outgoing, so she is charmed by his nerve.)

Sister: “Oh hello. My name is [Sister] and this is my sister [My Name].”

(She gestures over to me.)

Me: “Hello.”

Man: *looks me over, wrinkles nose with disgust, and quickly looks back to my sister* “Why don’t we go sit somewhere private? Just the two of us.” *gestures to himself and my sister*

Us: *stunned*

(Needless to say, he was rejected and we went to drink by ourselves. Men, a tip: if you’re trying to score with a woman, at least pretend to be polite to her friends!)

Dealt With It Single-Handedly

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Flirting

(I am a receptionist at a busy insurance brokerage in downtown Vancouver. For the previous three years, I’d get a random obscene phone call in February. It seemed to me that someone was going alphabetically through a phone book and dialing random businesses, and February was when he got to me. It was getting annoying. One day I answer the phone:)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Insurance Broker]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Guess what I’m holding in my hand?”

Me: “If you only need one hand I’m not interested.”

Caller: “…” *click*

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