Category: Flirting/How We Met

God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

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Driving Them Away

| MI, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(I am first in line at a stop light, waiting for the light to turn green in order to get to a fancy restaurant where I am meeting someone for a first date. I call her to let her know that I am almost there and we talk for a couple minutes. There is a clear “No Turn on Red” sign right next to the road in clear view of everyone.)

Me: “So, do you want to go catch a movie afterwards or something?”

Her: “Sure, we could go see— MOVE, YOU MOTHER-F*****! THERE’S NOBODY COMING! YOU CAN TURN!”

(I hear the car behind me honking and see a young girl on the phone screaming and flailing her arms wildly about. I also hear background honking in my phone.)

Her: “COME ON, MOVE, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF S***! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP!

(At this point I know it is her behind me. The light turns green and I complete my turn.)

Her: “FINALLY! God, people need to learn how to drive. This little s*** wouldn’t turn right when nobody was coming the other way.”

Me: “Well, I guess you won’t be seeing that little s*** at dinner.” *click*

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A Dangerous Flirt

| VA, USA | Advice, Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(While hanging out with some friends and a guy I just met, our conversation turns to whether we have murderers in our family. I make it clear that the conversation is making me uncomfortable and the guy rolls back his sleeve and orders me to give him an Indian burn. A few minutes later we are left alone.)

Him: “So do you have a car or a friend with a car?”

Me: “No, why?”

Him: “Well, that’s a problem. Do you want to go on a date with me?”

(Awkward pause.)

Me: “Just a little advice for you, don’t ask a girl out after a conversation like this. It’s not a good foundation for a relationship.”

(He mumbles for a few seconds.)

Him: “You wanna make out?”

(Most awkward day of my life.)

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And Then He Saw Your Butt Online…

| BC, Canada | Dating, Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year at the point of this conversation. We are just lying around. To my knowledge, we met on a dating site.)

Boyfriend: “You know, I knew you before we ‘met’ on [Dating Site].”

Me: *confused* “Oh?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, when you were in college. I was taking some GED courses, and you would always walk past where I was sitting on Tuesday mornings, and you were in the math class that was right next to one of my classes. I always thought ‘she has a nice butt; I want to meet that butt’ but I was always too nervous to say hello to you. And, now, I have said hello and I have met your butt. And I am a happy man.”

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