Category: Flirting/How We Met

God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

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Setting Up A Hollywood Romance

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Advice, Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(My girlfriend and I have been dating for seven years. We’d known each other through a friends group for a while. Our friends had always thought we had a thing.)

Friend #1: *through group text* “We should go to a movie!”

Friend #2: “Ya! We should see [Popular New Movie].”

Friend #3: “Ya! Let’s go on [Day two days from now].”

Almost-Girlfriend: “Sounds fun!”

Me: “Sounds great!”

(The next day Friend #3 texts this.)

Friend #3: “Sorry, can’t go to movie! Going to my grandparents.”

(It’s one day away from the movie when Friend #2 texts.)

Friend #2: “Super sorry, it’s my mom’s birthday! Completely forgot; can’t go to movie.”

(It comes the day of the movie. My almost-girlfriend and I are there talking.)

Almost-Girlfriend: “Where’s [Friend #1]?”

Me: “I don’t know. Maybe there’s traffic?”

(We then get a text from my friend.)

Friend #1: “Got in a car accident; can’t get there. You two have fun. ;-)”

(We’re confused as for why he used a winky face, but see the movie together and forget about it. The next week we’re all together.)

Friend #1: “So, how was the movie, you two?”

(As he asks this he winks. My almost-girlfriend and I look at each other.)

Almost-Girlfriend: “Um, it was actually really good!”

Me: “It sucks you guys couldn’t come.”

(All three of our friends smirked and looked at each other, and then explained that they had planned to get us together. Not long after that we started dating. Thank god I made it to that movie, or I would have missed the most wonderful girl in the world.)

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Ten Out Of Ten For Trying

| MD, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(I am a cashier, working at a local grocery store on register four. An older man and his wife come up to the register:)

Man: “The sign is wrong; it says you’re a four but I think you’re a ten!”

Me: “…”

(His wife didn’t seem to care!)

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Time To Kick Some Honey Bun

| Broward County, FL, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(It’s 11 pm and I’m working with a new employee. I’m showing her how to check in the night delivery. The phone rings and she answers it.)

New Employee: “[Convenience Store], how can I help you?”

(She listens to what the person on the other line has to say, then she replies.)

New Employee: “Yes, we have honey buns… Yes, they are fresh… Yes, they are soft… No, sir, I’m not squeezing them!”

(She hangs up the phone immediately.)

Me: “Ugh, what happened?”

New Employee: “He was asking me questions about the honey buns and the conversation started getting gross.”

(The phone rings again. I answer it this time.)

Me: “This is [Convenience Store].”

Caller: “Hi! I’m calling to ask you about your honey buns.”

Me: “Okay…”

Caller: “Are they soft and warm?”

Me: “Soft and prepackaged.”

Caller: “Ooohhhh, sooo soft. Can you open one up and put your fingers in it and lick the honey bun while talking to me? I’ll pay you after for the honey bun with my credit card over the phone.”

(I’m extremely annoyed with this whole thing.)

Me: “Nope. Sure can’t. Stop calling here, freakazoid.”

(I hang up the phone and ten seconds later the phone rings again. I answer it and plan to put an end to this.)

Me: “[City] police dispatch.”

Caller: *in a very serious voice* “Hi, I…” *click*

(The new employee starts laughing.)

Me: “It works every time.”

(He never called again.)

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