Category: Golden Years

Romance isn’t only the domain of the young. This category finds love tempered with honesty. Lots, and lots, and lots of honesty.

As Long As You Still Get Hot

| Wales, UK | Golden Years, Marriage & Partners

(My family always hosts a bonfire party every year:)

Mom: *looks at fire* “I thought it would be bigger.”

Dad: “That’s what you’ve always said, honey.”

Teaching An Old Dog New Tricks

| CT, USA | Golden Years, Marriage & Partners

(My family is watching a romantic movie when I catch this conversation:)

Mother: “Did my father tell you to take care of me when we got married?”

Father: “Yup.”

Mother: “Bull-s***! But that was a quick answer; you’re getting better at this romance thing.”

Father: “I’m a work in progress!”

Mother: “It’s like training a dog.”

Father: “I think training a dog is easier.”

Love Cures All

| IA, USA | Golden Years, Marriage & Partners

(My mother is the in-house lawyer for one of the hospitals in our city and always makes sure to say hi to people in the hallways. This occurs with a woman that she has seen several times pushing another woman in a reclining wheel chair who is clearly completely disabled to the point that she is unaware of her surroundings.)

Mom: “Hi, there!”

Woman #1: “Hi, didn’t I see you at the Bar Association outing this summer?”

Mom: “Yes, I bet you did.”

Woman #1: “Yeah, I thought so. I haven’t kept up my license but I always like to go and see everyone.”

(They talk for a few minutes about the types of law they’ve practiced and where.)

Mom: “I see you here frequently. Do you volunteer with hospice?”

Woman #1: “No, this is my wife.”

(It turned out that Woman #2 had advanced stage Alzheimer’s and her wife, Woman #1, took her for a walk everyday even though Woman #2 didn’t have any clue who she was. Love isn’t always romantic but it is always beautiful.)

Didn’t Even Try For The First Couple Of Years

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Golden Years, Marriage & Partners

(We’re all in the kitchen putting groceries away. Mom’s eating some mangoes she took out of the fridge to free up some more space.)

Mom: “Mmm, perfect.”

Dad: “I know I am. It’s only taken you 15 years to figure it out.”

Mom: “… Uh, d***-head, we’ve been together 17 years.”

Today Is A Good Day To Pie

| OH, USA | Golden Years, Theme Of The Month

(It is no secret that my paternal grandparents had a somewhat turbulent marriage. My grandfather died a year before I was born. I am 10 in this story and asking my grandmother how it happened.)

Grandma: “They’d just released him from the hospital for his diabetes and told him not to eat any sugar. I had these two beautiful blueberry pies I’d made for the church bake sale, and he went and ate both of them! He collapsed and went back to the hospital and died the next day.”

Me: “That’s horrible!”

Grandma: “I know! I worked hard on those pies! He knew darn well they were for the bake sale!”

Me: “But Grandma… he died!”

Grandma: “I know he did! And I had nothing to sell at the church because of him! He was just being selfish!”