Category: Harassment


It’s Crime For Dinner!

| Wheaton, IL, USA | Harassment

(This conversation takes place over the chat feature of a popular social networking site. I have recently accepted a friend request from a guy that I went to high school with, but never knew very well. It should be noted that if one were to actually look at my profile, it is obvious that I am in a long term relationship.)

Guy: “I just wanted to say that you’re absolutely beautiful.”

(I’m surprised, since this is the first I’ve heard from him in ten years, but decide to attempt to proceed graciously.)

Me: “That’s nice of you to say, thank you.”

Guy: “You’re welcome! How have you been?”

Guy: “I think you should go to dinner with me.”

Me: “That’s a kind offer, but I’m not sure my boyfriend would appreciate that very much. Know what I mean?”

Guy: “Yeah, but that would only apply if he knew. Just saying.”

Guy: “75% of relationships have one or the other cheat. I’m not asking you to cheat. Just go to dinner.”

(I was so astounded that I didn’t respond right away. An hour and a half later…)

Guy: “Was that a no?”

Me: “97% of statistics are made up on the spot.”

Guy: “That’s true but that’s a real stat.”

Me: “Thank you, but I am not interested in dinner.”

Guy: “Fine. But if anything changes, I really would love to take you.”

Me: “I haven’t gotten where I am by sneaking around and I’m not about to start now.”

Guy: “Well, you never know.”

(I stopped responding at that point. Some people just can’t take a hint!)


Not Trans-parent Enough

| CA, USA | Harassment, LGBTQ

(I’m a male and identify as one but due to my slight frame and slightly longer than usual hair I’ve been mistaken for a girl before, from the back and side at least. However, my voice is surprisingly deep. I’m also Asian. I’m currently mixing a drink for another customer.)

Man: “Ay, baby, when do you get off tonight?” *he’s sitting a bit farther away and can only see my side*

Me: *ignores him thinking he’s talking to someone else*

Man: “Hey, come on! I asked you a question. Don’t ignore me!”

(At this point I’m done serving the first customer and, still not realizing he’s addressing me, go to organize a few things.)

Man: *moves closer to where I am and leans on the bar counter* “Come on, when do you get off? You’re Asian aren’t you? I love Asian girls. They’re so cute and obedient.”

(At this point I finally realize he’s mistaken me for a girl and turn around to address him.)

Me: “Are you talking to me? I’m not a—”

Man: *cuts me off and takes a step back* “S***! F***! YOU’RE ONE OF THEM F****** [slur]s, aren’t you!” *leans on the counter again* “You f****** disgust me, tricking men like me into f****** your kind!”

(The man then proceeded to turn around and walk away while I stared blankly after him.)