Category: Long Distance

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it can also make it go yonder. This category is dedicated to long distance relationships, which are often filled with as much laughter and lunacy as with love.


Long Distance Is No Game

| Lenoir, NC, USA | Dating, Long Distance, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and are texting while I’m waiting to check people into the hotel where I work. We are both nerdy in our own ways and play video games often.)

Boyfriend: “Starting tomorrow I’m going to be on a strict diet regimen.”

Me: “Will I have a walking buddy when I move out there?”

Boyfriend: “You were going to get that regardless.”

Me: “Yay!”

Boyfriend: “Walk together, eat together, shower together, sleep together… and more importantly… GAME TOGETHER!. Relationship priorities.”


Finish Your Essay Or Bust, Literally

| New Zealand | Dating, LGBTQ, Long Distance, Popular

(I’m asexual, meaning I don’t experience sexual attraction or lust. I’m also currently struggling to finish an essay for university. My partner and I, both women, are long distance at the moment, and usually talk via IM. I realize I’ve been missing hearing her voice.)

Me: “We need to Skype properly sometime. Maybe that can be my reward for when I finish this darned essay.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, you need to do that. I’d offer something slutty like ‘I’ll get my boobs out’ but YOU’RE ON THE INTERNET. THERE’S PLENTY OF BOOBS!”

Me: “Plus I’m not boobs motivated, but nice thought.”

Girlfriend: “I’ll make you look at my boobs if you don’t finish your essay!”

Doesn’t Make A Lick Of Sense

| USA | Dating, Long Distance

(My boyfriend and I are talking on Skype.)

Me: “UGH!”

Boyfriend: “Did your hand fall asleep?”

Me: “Yes! Argh!” *indiscriminate anger noises*

Boyfriend: “Try licking it.”

Me: *lick* “Whath doeth that doth?”

Boyfriend: “Nothing. Just wanted to see if you’d actually do it.”

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