Category: Marriage & Partners

Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.


Milkshaking Up The Establishment

| AB, Canada | Marriage & Partners

(My partner and I are chatting online. They’re messaging me from a diner, where they just ordered a milkshake. Note that my partner and I are the same gender.)

Partner: “We should go on a milkshake date!”

Me: “Yes! That sounds incredible, let’s do it. I was gonna say we should do it like in those retro posters and share one milkshake with two straws, but I’m greedy. I want a milkshake to myself.”

Partner: “Okay, me too! I don’t wanna split a d*** shake!”

Me: “I’m so glad we’re on the same side here!”

Partner: “We could split… two shakes.”

Me: “Too much power… We could get two different flavours, though. That legit sounds awesome.”

Partner: “This is the Gay Agenda™.”

Me: “[Partner]… are we ruining the sanctity of milkshakes?”


Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 65

| USA | Marriage & Partners, Popular, Zombies

(I figure it’s time to ask my wife The Question.)

Me: “What would you do if I turned into a zombie?”

Wife: *without skipping a beat* “I would kill you; it would be hard, though.”

Me: “Welp.”

(A week or so later.)

Wife: *out of the blue* “I wouldn’t kill you. I would let you bite me and we would turn into smart zombies, join the collective of other smart zombies, and rule the world developing a system to steadily provide us with brains to prevent us from getting dumb.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Wife: “I had a dream, and I couldn’t kill you when you were turned into a zombie.”

Me: “Oh. I love you, too.”

Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 64
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 63
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 62


Thinks He’s Such A Hotshot

| Switzerland | Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are discussing food options for supper.)

Me: “So the options are burgers, spare ribs, or fish.”

Husband: “I’ll take a hotdog.”

(He does that practically at every meal…)

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