Category: Marriage & Partners

Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

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Conceiving A Decent Excuse

| Finland | Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are trying to conceive. This morning, my waking temperature indicates that I am likely to be ovulating. We are both in the mood, so we decide to take advantage of the opportunity immediately. Afterwards, we head to work later than usual.)

Me: “If anybody complains, we can tell them we had an urgent family situation.”

Husband: “…”

Me: “We were trying to add more family members.”

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Lattetatas

| Finland | Marriage & Partners

(I’m in the kitchen and have just made coffee.)

Me: “[Husband], do you want coffee?”

Husband: “Ooh, coffee!”

(He makes a grabbing motion with his hands. Because I’m standing right in front of him, he ends up grabbing my boobs.)

Me: “Those don’t make coffee. If they did, I think I’d never leave the house.”

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Oh, Deer…

| USA | Marriage & Partners, Punny

(I’ve been sick and finally feel well enough to fool around. As we are cuddling and getting in the mood.)

Me: “Can you say something romantic to me?”

Husband: *grinning mischievously* “Your breasts are like two fawns—”

Me: “Not working. Try again.”

(Pause.)

Me: “Wait, is it because you’re FAWNdling them?”

Husband: “Really?”

Me: *dies in a fit of laughter/coughing fit*

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Pokémon XXX & Y

| VA, USA | Marriage & Partners, Pokemon

(My husband and I are big Pokémon fans. At the time of this story I had just recently gotten my husband to start playing them again. Needless to say that was all we did when we were together. One night, I had a rather strange dream about the new Pokémon games, but was partially woken up by my husband initiating things. The next morning he wakes up before me and sits beside me.)

Husband: “Last night was fun. That did happen, right?”

Me: “Yeah, that was a pleasant surprise, except I was dreaming about Pokémon, and I never really stopped dreaming about it.”

(I am kind of worried he will think I’m weird for thinking about Pokémon during sex, even if it was a dream.)

Husband: *looks at me strangely* “You know, I think I was dreaming about Pokémon, too. I don’t remember exactly, but it was definitely Pokémon themed.”

Me: “So we both had Pokémon dreams, and then had awesome sex? What’s wrong with us? I guess we are perfect for each other after all.”

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At Least He Doesn’t Have Five O’Clock Shadows

| Finland | Marriage & Partners

(Until he got a haircut a few days ago, my husband was starting to resemble the Centauri alien race from the TV show ‘Babylon 5,’ especially first thing in the morning when his hair stuck straight up.)

Husband: “Thank God it’s Friday!”

Me: “The first thing that came to mind was ‘Thank the great maker!'”

Husband: “Hey, come on! I got a haircut!”

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