Category: Marriage & Partners

Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.


Need To Fix His Sense Of Humor

| Denver, CO, USA | Marriage & Partners

(I have just noticed that the corner of the fitted sheet on our bed is pulling up.)

Me: “We need to fix the sheets.”

Husband: “Why? Are you afraid they’re going to breed?”

Me: *whacks husband with a pillow*

Hop To The Dark Side

| Devon, England, UK | Marriage & Partners

(I’m depressed and in a generally foul mood, sitting on my bed in a large black and red hoodie, which I often call my “Sith” hoodie, when my husband comes in and gives me a hug.)

Me: “Don’t cuddle Sith Lords.”

Husband: *husband backing off and giving me an appraising look* “How about Sith bunnies?”

Me: *dies laughing*


My Super Villain Wife

| OR, USA | Marriage & Partners

(I really dislike Superman as a character, which my husband knows. We both play a collectible figure strategy game that has characters largely based on comic books and movies (as well some video games and other stuff). The pieces are referred to as Clix. I do have a great love of Batman and his villains, and most of my own collection reflects that. I refuse to take in any Superman pieces, though, with the exception of one.)

Husband: *opening a box from a new set* “Hey, check this one out. Superman’s all infected with Kryptonite.”

Me: *I grab the card that accompanies the piece and explains his abilities, and laugh* “Nope! Figures, he’s actually under Poison Ivy’s control. How does he always wind up like that? It’s so ridiculous. I hate him.”

Husband: “Why is that again?”

Me: “He’s touted as being super and infallible but he usually either winds up under someone’s control or loses his temper and goes nuts! There’s even a whole video game where he becomes a tyrannical dictator and melts Shazam’s face in one of the cut-scenes! He sucks.”

Husband: *holds the piece out to me* “You do like Poison Ivy though, and he pairs up with her.”

Me: “Hmmm… I do…” *takes the piece* “I shall call him B**** Superman. Because he’s Poison Ivy’s b****.”

Husband: *laughs* “Okay, you have fun with that.”


Well, Who Isn’t?

| Memphis, TN, USA | Marriage & Partners

(I’m currently five months pregnant, showing, and making myself a snack in the kitchen. I have a sudden thought and grin.)

Me: “Hey, babe! I’m barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen!”

Husband: “Did you say you’re Barefoot Contessa?”

Me: “No! I’m not as pretentious as her.”

Husband: “But you are as cute at her!”

Me: “I’m not cuter than Ina Garten? She’s like 60! She is pretty cute, though.”

Husband: “Yeah, she’s like the non-threatening Martha Stewart!”

Me: *baffled laughter* “Are you afraid of Martha Stewart?!”


Overly Sweet Cupcakes

| USA | Marriage & Partners

(My husband goes with me to the grocery store to pick up some items to make cupcakes.)

Husband: “Okay, got everything you need?”

Me: “Well, I got you! You’re all I need!”

Husband: “Aww.”

Me & Husband: *both at the same time, making barfy noises* “BLAAH!”

Page 1/26112345...Last