Category: Proposals

Proposals are the human equivalent of the peacock strut– they often come with screeching, a display of colors, and ruffled feathers.

A Fortunate Proposal

| NY, USA | Proposals

(My boyfriend and I are having dinner with his siblings and some other friends. We’re having Chinese takeout, and afterwards there are fortune cookies. My boyfriend passes them out.)

Brother #1: “Mine says ‘Your future will be happy and productive.’ I hope so!”

Me: “Mine is ‘Believe in yourself, and others will, too.’ I like that.”

Boyfriend: “Wait, what? Let me see yours.”

(He takes my fortune and reads it, then looks in the takeout bag, looking confused.)

Brother #2: “Guys, my fortune says ‘Will you marry me?’ What?”

Boyfriend: “Oh, f***!”

(He leans across the table, snatches the fortune out of Brother #2’s hands and gives it to me.)

Boyfriend: “Well, no one can say I didn’t try.”

(I said yes.)

Selfishly Engaging

| WA, USA | Proposals

(My then-girlfriend and I have talked about marriage and plan to marry once we are ready. After I mention how much I love a ring in the shop where my girlfriend is buying a present, we have this conversation.)

Girlfriend: “How do you feel about telling people we are engaged?”

Me: “I don’t know. I want to marry you, but all the reasons I have for making the switch from dating to engaged are selfish.”

Girlfriend: “How is it selfish?”

Me: “It would get us taken more seriously and I would get attention from the other girls in my classes.”

Girlfriend: “I don’t see anything wrong with wanting that.”

(Runner up for one of the least romantic proposals ever, but it worked!)

Fell Into The Engagement

| India | Engaged, Proposals

(My fiancé and I are from a country where the norm is to have arranged marriages, and engagements are usually a party announcing that the guy and girl are going to be married. However, recently, more people have been dating before marrying. My fiancé and I dated for seven years before we decided we want to get married and told our families. Then an engagement party was announced for us. I am a klutz and before the party, I am nervous.)

Me: “I’m nervous.”

Fiancé: “Cold feet huh?”

Me: “Huh? What? No. I’m nervous that I’ll trip and fall in front of everyone during the ceremony.”

Fiancé: *thinks* “Just try your best to fall on one knee. I’ll clutch my face and start crying and squealing that you’re proposing. We’ll make a skit out of it! Nobody will know you fell!”

Me: “…”

(I laughed so much, I actually forgot to be nervous. His sense of humour ensures that I’ll never actually get cold feet.)

Will You Be My Amy Rose?

| Denmark | Marriage & Partners, Proposals

(I am playing ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ for nostalgia reasons, when I get hit near the end of a stage and end up with zero rings left. Scared for my life, I cry out and beg.)

Me: “Please, Game, give me rings. Give me a ring, please?”

(At this moment, my husband gets up and disappears for a moment. Though distracted, I focus again but still screw up, and I die. I paused just as I die, but it’s already too late. As I stared at this bug eyed blue guy in annoyance, in comes my husband with this gem:)

Husband: *kneels and holds out my wedding ring in its box, proposing silently to me again*

(At first I’m confused — how was this appropriate? But then I see his smug face and already dread whatever he’s thinking.)

Husband: “What? You asked me to get you a ring!”

Can’t Believe What Mom Is Proposing

| USA | Advice, Proposals

(I was engaged several years ago, but it didn’t work out and didn’t end well. I have recently started seeing someone, but keep needing to remind him to move slowly. My mother doesn’t really like him and doesn’t think we’re compatible.)

Mom: *suddenly* “You know [Boyfriend] is planning on proposing to you at Christmas, right?”

Me: *shocked* “What?! Did he say something? We’ve only been dating eight months!”

Mom: “Yeah, but you know he is.”

Me: “No. That would be silly. He knows I don’t even want to move in together.”

Mom: “[Ex-Fiancée] proposed to you at Christmas.”

Me: “No, he didn’t.”

Mom: “Yes, he did!”

Me: “Not even close.”

Mom: “Yes. He. Did.”

Me: “No. He. Didn’t. He proposed after a baseball game!”

Mom: “Whatever. I warned you then, too. You know he was planning it for a while.”

Me: “Huh?! Mom, he was drunk off his a** and only proposed because a ball flew into the stands and hit some lady, and it got him thinking about mortality or something. He never even purchased a ring.”

Mom: “You had a ring. It was his mom’s.”

Me: “No, his mom gave me a bracelet. YOU gave me a ring to wear because, and I quote, ‘[Ex-Fiancee] is too cheap to get you anything really nice.’”

Mom: “It couldn’t have been after a baseball game, because his parents were there.”

Me: “They were not. As I recall, they were out of state, which is why we were supposed to delay announcing it to everyone for a week, even though I told you and Dad and made you promise not to let on that you already knew.”

Mom: “Well, whatever. I know about these things, and [Boyfriend] is planning on proposing to you this Christmas.”


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