Category: Proposals

Proposals are the human equivalent of the peacock strut– they often come with screeching, a display of colors, and ruffled feathers.

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Will You Be My Amy Rose?

| Denmark | Marriage & Partners, Proposals

(I am playing ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ for nostalgia reasons, when I get hit near the end of a stage and end up with zero rings left. Scared for my life, I cry out and beg.)

Me: “Please, Game, give me rings. Give me a ring, please?”

(At this moment, my husband gets up and disappears for a moment. Though distracted, I focus again but still screw up, and I die. I paused just as I die, but it’s already too late. As I stared at this bug eyed blue guy in annoyance, in comes my husband with this gem:)

Husband: *kneels and holds out my wedding ring in its box, proposing silently to me again*

(At first I’m confused — how was this appropriate? But then I see his smug face and already dread whatever he’s thinking.)

Husband: “What? You asked me to get you a ring!”

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Can’t Believe What Mom Is Proposing

| USA | Advice, Proposals

(I was engaged several years ago, but it didn’t work out and didn’t end well. I have recently started seeing someone, but keep needing to remind him to move slowly. My mother doesn’t really like him and doesn’t think we’re compatible.)

Mom: *suddenly* “You know [Boyfriend] is planning on proposing to you at Christmas, right?”

Me: *shocked* “What?! Did he say something? We’ve only been dating eight months!”

Mom: “Yeah, but you know he is.”

Me: “No. That would be silly. He knows I don’t even want to move in together.”

Mom: “[Ex-Fiancée] proposed to you at Christmas.”

Me: “No, he didn’t.”

Mom: “Yes, he did!”

Me: “Not even close.”

Mom: “Yes. He. Did.”

Me: “No. He. Didn’t. He proposed after a baseball game!”

Mom: “Whatever. I warned you then, too. You know he was planning it for a while.”

Me: “Huh?! Mom, he was drunk off his a** and only proposed because a ball flew into the stands and hit some lady, and it got him thinking about mortality or something. He never even purchased a ring.”

Mom: “You had a ring. It was his mom’s.”

Me: “No, his mom gave me a bracelet. YOU gave me a ring to wear because, and I quote, ‘[Ex-Fiancee] is too cheap to get you anything really nice.’”

Mom: “It couldn’t have been after a baseball game, because his parents were there.”

Me: “They were not. As I recall, they were out of state, which is why we were supposed to delay announcing it to everyone for a week, even though I told you and Dad and made you promise not to let on that you already knew.”

Mom: “Well, whatever. I know about these things, and [Boyfriend] is planning on proposing to you this Christmas.”

 

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Eh, Romance…

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Proposals

(My brother is walking through a shopping complex with the woman who has been his girlfriend since high school. They are now in their early 20s. They walk past a jewellry store and there is a sale with 50% off on rings.)

Brother: *turns to his girlfriend and says* “I suppose I should get you one of those, eh?”

(And that is the story of the least romantic proposal of anyone I’ve ever known.)

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Repeat Proposal

| Hampshire, England, UK | Proposals

(I’m a guy. Relatively soon in my relationship with my now-husband I proposed. We had a long engagement during which I would periodically get down on one knee in places that I thought were either romantic or absurd, steal his ring, and ‘propose’ again. It became a running joke between us that never failed to get a very sweet reaction from him that could be mistaken for the first proposal. The spring before our autumn wedding there’s some scenic trees covered in cherry blossoms along a road in our town, so I drag him under one and drop to one knee. Once we get walking again…)

Me: “Do you know why I keep proposing to you?”

Fiancé: “In case I change my mind?”

Me: “Ha! Well, that too. But so that you can pick and choose what you tell people. ‘Oh, it was just on a train; it was a bit naff,’ ‘Oh, it was in London, overlooking the Thames at sunset; it was so romantic!’ Or even, ‘It was under these really romantic cherry trees… near his doctor’s surgery.’”

Fiancé: *laughs* “I guess that’s true. I like the truth, though.”

Me: “That’s the best bit. If people start comparing notes and asking you what REALLY happened, you can say they’re all true!”

Fiancé: “I guess I could!”

Me: “In fact—”

(At this point we’re coming up to a T-junction. A car pulls around the corner and stops pretty much right in front of us, window down. The driver leans over her passenger — both grinning — and yells to us.)

Driver: “Did he say yes?!”

(The “joke” had become so common to us that for a moment I had no idea what she meant, until-)

Fiancé: *yells and holds up his hand to show his ring* “Yes!”

Driver: “Congratulations!”

(She drives off, both she and her passenger beaming and clearly thrilled.)

Me: “So… I think we just made their day.”

Fiancé: “I think you’re right.”

Me: “Good thing they’ll never know they didn’t witness a ‘real’ proposal.”

Fiancé: “Well, according to your logic, they kind of did.”

(We’ve recently celebrated our second anniversary, and those two women remain a memory that we are both very fond of!)

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Engaged With The Wrong Parent

| PA, USA | Engaged, Proposals

(My parents had just gotten engaged, and my father wants to talk with my grandfather about what he thinks of him marrying my mom. Unsure how to go about this, my father decides to approach my grandmother about how best to broach the subject. He is incredibly nervous due to a few mishaps when mother’s sister got engaged to someone my grandfather didn’t care for.)

Daddy: *nervously stands next to my grandmother while she does the dishes* “Excuse me, Mrs. [Grandmother], uhm… What would be the best way to talk to your husband about [Mother] and I getting married?”

Grammy: *grins and tosses down the dish she was washing* “The best way to talk to my husband about getting married?! Here, I’ll show you!” *she then takes my father by the hand, drags the poor man to the TV room where my grandfather is watching something, and switches said TV off*

Grandmother: “[Grandfather]! [Father] here wants to tell you something!” *makes a grand gesture to my father* “YOU! You’re on!”

(My poor father managed to stutter out what he wanted to say, and thankfully my grandfather was very happy with their engagement! They’ve now been very happily married for more than twenty years, and despite my mother’s growing health issues, he always looks at her like he loves her more every day, never thinking her a burden, and giving her the biggest kiss on the lips when he comes home from work! Needless to say, my boyfriend has a lot to live up to! ;) )

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