I was at a friends house, and we were getting “frisky” Her children were in bed. Both of us are a little loud and there were a lot of “F” words flying Early that morning I go to wake up her kids so she can sleep in.
Kid: Miss *my name* what were you and mommy doing last night?
me: Um, we were just playing a game..
Kid: Oh, it was very inappropriate..
me: *dear in headlights look* Uhm…
Kid: Yeah, you guys were saying a LOT of bad words!
me: Oh! Oh! yeah! we were! I’m sorry bud. *Dips back in her room so he can’t see my laughing hysterically*
(Boyfriend has to work, but since it’s just coming off a holiday weekend, his store is not very busy.)
Boyfriend: “I’m so bored. No one is coming to the store. And there’s no place to nap here.”
Me: “Pobrecito.” (Spanish sarcasm, “poor little thing.”)
Boyfriend: “Tell me something sexy, babe.”
Boyfriend: “Good start babe.”
(In college I had a boyfriend for about a week. Nothing was wrong between us, except for the fact that he was gay. He was super, super sweet and kinda shy. He broke up with me and this is how it went.)
Him: Hey [My Name].
Him: So I think it isn’t gonna work out between us, but it’s not because of you. It’s because-
Me: -cuts him off- Is it because you’re gay?
Him: How did you-?
Me: Well I mean you complimented Ryan Gosling’s ass while we were watching the notebook the other day, so I just kinda guessed.
Him: I’m sorry.
Me: Awww, you’re so sweet. I think we’re gonna be pretty great friends.
(And we’ve been best friends ever since. We’re both married now, and I can’t wait for the day to tell my future children that I used to date their uncle.)
(My best friend and I work in the same building. He’s older than me by one year and we even went to the same high school and college. I’ve always had a crush on him, but was too shy to say something. He loves falling in love, but falls in love too quickly. We are discussing his love life at work.)
Him: I just don’t understand why my relationships don’t last long. I love the people who I fall in love with dearly.
Me: Well maybe you fall in love too quickly. Maybe you rush into things too quickly.
Him: You really think so? I mean I guess. It took me two seconds to fall in love with you, but I still haven’t dated you.
Me: Whaaaaa? (when I get nervous I start talking in weird accents)
Him: You’re adorable. So, you wanna go to [my favorite restaurant] and go on a date and then get married and have kids?
Me: Uhh……(very confused)
Him: -smiles then kisses me- Okay, see you later hot stuff. (Does that thing where he clicks his tongue and points at me) -walks out of my office-
Me: -bursts out laughing-
(We did go on that date and have been married for 3 years. Still waiting on that third thing to pop out in like 5 months, but hey, we have a dog! Close enough.)
My boyfriend and I are getting frisky while watching episode VI of Star Wars, during the final battle sequence. A Super Star Destroyer has just been taken out by what seems like a fairly small hit for its size.
Boyfriend: “It’s weird that something that large would be completely controlled by something that small.”
At this point, he happens to be playing with my clit, and I orgasm. As I do, he just looks at me and says “Just like that.”