Category: Young Love

Ah, young love–filled with such passion and promise. AKA, hormones and hopeless romanticism.

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I Want To Date A Real Boy!

| USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular, Young Love

(My family, a total of 18 people, has taken a trip to Italy over the summer to visit sights and to see other family. My youngest cousin, seven years old, who, already with a ‘boyfriend,’ has brought back a trinket for him. She tells my mother the following story:)

Cousin: *upon seeing her boyfriend the first day of school* “I got this for you, all the way in Florence!”

(She hands him a small, wooden Pinocchio figurine. Her boyfriend thanks her.)

Cousin: *the following day* “Where’s what I gave you?”

Boyfriend: “I didn’t like it, so I gave it to my mom.”

Cousin: “Oh. Well, I didn’t like it either, so that’s why I gave it to you.”

(My cousin has a history of pulling wisdom from beyond her years, but this is my favorite so far. She dumped her boyfriend of one school year the same day!)

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Flirting Technique Needs (Home)Work

| Staten Island, NY, USA | Popular, Young Love

(I am picking my two sons, aged six and eight, from school. My eight-year-old is talking to a girl from his class.)

Girl: *to my eight-year-old* “Let’s exchange phone numbers. I’ll give you my number; you give me yours.”

Eight-Year-Old: “Why would I wanna do that?”

Girl: “You can call me if you need help with homework.”

Eight-Year-Old: “Nah. Dad checks my homework.”

Girl: “Here’s my number.” *the girl obviously didn’t hear a word my boy said, and hands him a small piece of paper* “What’s your number?”

Eight-Year-Old: “My mom won’t get me my own phone. You’re gonna have to buy me a phone so I can give you my number.”

Girl: “Oh, bummer.”

(They say goodbye and then I walk my sons to the car…)

Six-Year-Old: “You could’ve just given her our home number.”

Eight-Year-Old: “She wants to exchange numbers because I might need help with homework. Seriously? She knows I’m Student of the Month in our class.”

Six-Year-Old: “You mean she’s lying.”

Eight-Year-Old: “She just wants to call me.”

(My smooth criminal. I don’t know whether to be worried or amused. And he’s only eight!)

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Digging Himself A Hole To The Rock Bottom

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Popular, Young Love

(My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a few months. He is well-known amongst his friends for putting his foot in his mouth or saying things that don’t really mean what he intends. He is, however, incredibly romantic, which often makes up for it.)

Boyfriend: “You know, hun, when I fell for you I hit rock bottom.”

Me: “Umm… excuse me?”

Boyfriend: *sees that I’m not giving him the response he intended* “Y- yeah… you know… I just hit rock bottom. I fell so far down.”

Me: “You know hitting rock bottom is a BAD thing, right? As in, you can’t get any lower?”

Boyfriend: “No, it’s a good thing! I fell so far for you that there’s nowhere left to fall!”

Me: “Ask anyone you know, and they’ll tell you that hitting rock bottom is a very bad thing. Are you really calling me the lowest of the low?”

Boyfriend: *sputters and unsuccessfully tries to defend himself*

Me: “I think you just hit rock bottom with that comment.”

(We got married last summer! Oh, and for the record, everyone we ask agrees that “hitting rock bottom” is NOT a compliment!)

Best Not To Drive A Wedge Between Us

| Arlington, TX, USA | Dating, Young Love

(Since I’m a year older than my boyfriend, we don’t have the same classes. I am waiting for him to get out of class.)

Me: “Hey.”

Boyfriend: “Hey…” *hides behind me*

Me: “What are you—”

Boyfriend: “Done.” *looks at me*

Me: “Did you just—”

Boyfriend: “Yes. I had a wedgie for the longest.”

Me: “Aaaand you used me as the shield?”

Boyfriend: “Uh huh!”

Me: *laughs* “This is going on Not Always Romantic. I love you!”

Love Is Fleeting Unless You’re Competing

| Muncie, IN, USA | Dating, Young Love

(My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of months. We’re both in college. I’m at my parents’ house in Indiana and he’s at his parents’ house in Alabama for Christmas break. After accidentally saying ‘I love you’ to him for giving me a back massage only three weeks in, I told him he’d have to be the one to say ‘I love you,’ next. He’s been telling me that he’s not going to say it for a really long time.)

Boyfriend: *via Skype, with the sound cutting out* “—c***. I’ll have you know, I say ‘love you lots’ to my parents when I get off Skype with them, so I guess we’re one for one now.”

Me: “What?! The sound cut out, so I didn’t even get to hear it!”

Boyfriend: “What? What are you talking about? Babe, you’re imagining things. That never happened.”

(The next day, over the phone. I’d just been crying.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m being so silly right now.”

Boyfriend: “Babe, you’re fine. Your silliness is why I love you—I mean like you! S***!”

Me: *smiling* “I’m sorry? What was that?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I guess we’re two for one now.”

Me: “Can I count that one?”

Boyfriend: “…yes.”

Me: “Love you, too, dear.”

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