Archive for 2007

Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

| Louisville, KY, USA | Marriage & Partners

(I go to a table of four, a mom and dad and two kids who are ready to order.)

Husband: “How big are your pizzas?”

Me: “They are 10 inch pizzas, sir.”

Husband: “Well how big is 10 inches?

(And before I can answer, the wife chimes in.)

Wife: “You wouldn’t know anything about 10 inches, dear.”

(I stood there for a moment with my mouth open, before I ran to the wait station and started laughing hysterically.)

Also seen on: Not Always Right.

Taking The Young At Heart Thing Too Far

| New York, NY, USA | Golden Years

(An 80 year old woman and her husband come up to the cutting counter with a bolt of sparkly, orange, see-through fabric.)

80 year-old woman: “Three yards please.”

Me, as I am measuring: “What are you using this for?”

80 year-old woman: “I am taking a belly dancing class, and I am going to make my own outfit.”

(I stare, and the man looks everywhere but his wife.)

Also seen on: Not Always Right.