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A Wife…

Eggs For Dinner

| Vista, CA, USA | Marriage & Partners

(My wife and I have a tendency to use baby-talk with each other when no one else is around. We are lying in bed.)

Wife: “So, what should we have for dinner?”

Me: *kissy face* “Oh, maybe some leftie-over-ies.”

Wife: *bolts upright* “What?”

Me: *incredulous* “What did I say?”

Wife: *laughs* “We are not going to eat my ovaries!”

Me: “I said leftovers.”

Wife: “You said ovaries. Actually, my left ovary.”

Me: *shrugs* “I guess I did.” *pokes her side* “Well, give it to me then.”

I Love You, Non-warts And All

| Stockholm, Sweden | Marriage & Partners

(Me and my husband are play-fighting. He’s started to tickle me and I’m falling over laughing.)

Me: “Wait. Have I always sounded like the wicked witch when I laugh, or did that start now?”

Husband: *pauses for a moment* “Nope, that started now.”

(My husband resumes tickling.)

Me: “Stop it! I feel like all I need now is a wart on my nose!”

Husband: “You are my wife. All you ask for, you shall receive!”

(He grabs the back of my neck and starts rubbing my face against a small red dot on his arm.)

Me: *muffled* “I appreciate the sentiment, but that’s not a wart.”

Husband: “No?”

Me: “No.”

Husband: *very disappointed* “I have failed you!”

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