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Dovahkiin-dred Spirits, Part 2

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Engaged

(I have been a little depressed lately. My fiancée keeps cheering me up as much as she can. One night, she is in bed. I walk by.)

Fiancée: “You know, life is made of years, days, and hours. And hours are made of minutes and seconds. And in each second of my life with you, I’ll love you as much as there are gameplay hours in the whole Elder Scrolls games.”

(I almost cried that night.)

Dovahkiin-dred Spirits

Unable To Stomach It Any Longer

| Broussard, LA, USA | Dating

(Shortly after moving in with my boyfriend, I experienced a severe illness. I was basically bedridden, getting up only to vomit. After that, he gets extremely concerned when I have even the slightest bit of an upset stomach. I inform him that I feel a little queasy. After I take an anti-nausea pill, he hugs me, looking worried.)

Boyfriend: “Are you gonna be okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just a little ‘urpy.’”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Probably because I ate all that chocolate.”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Because it was GOOD.”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Because it was DARK chocolate!”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Don’t make me slap you.”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Well, if you want me to, I will!”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

(I lightly pat his cheek.)

Boyfriend: *clutching his face and reeling dramatically* “Whyyy!?”

I Like You Almost As Much As The Gifts



Conversations Of An Adult Nature

| St Cloud, MN, USA | Marriage & Partners

(I am texting my husband.)

Me: “You know if you brought me a [Energy Drink] when you come to pick the baby up, I’d probably blow you again.”

Husband: “If you pay the car payment, I’d probably clean the house up.”

Me: “Are you trying to bribe me to do my adult responsibilities by saying you’ll do your adult responsibilities?”

Husband: “Probably…”

All Is Fair In Love And War

| NY, USA | Dating

(My girlfriend and I are both skilled in martial arts. One day we are sparring, and I’m starting to get the upper hand. Suddenly, she stops. She faces me and kisses me on the nose.)

Girlfriend: “I love you!”

Me: “What?”

(She then proceeds to grab me, flip me over her shoulder, and pin me to the mat.)

Me: “That’s cheating!”

Girlfriend: “Not when I say I love you!”