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Love Will Save You, Literally

| Chicago, IL, USA | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are cuddling in his room. When I was younger, I got a scar on my left hip during an accident involving my scooter. It hurts from time to time, but it’s always been a dull pain.)

Me: “Ow… the scar on my hip is burning. THE SCAR ON MY HIP IS BURNING! WHY IS IS BURNING?!”

(Without looking at each other, we both speak at the same time.)

Boyfriend & Me: *gasp* “Voldemort!”

This Can Only Lead To Treble

| IL, USA | Dating

(It is late at night. My boyfriend is doing music homework, and doing poorly due to tiredness.)

Me: “You’re going flat?”

Boyfriend: “It doesn’t come as natural to me. Accidentals happen.”

(Not being a student of music theory, I come up dry… or so I think.)

Me: “Music puns aren’t my forte.”

(I realize that ‘forte’ is actually a musical term.)
Me: “…pun not actually intended.”

Boyfriend: “Riiiiiiiiiight.”

Stand Next To Santa



The Breast Medicine, Part 4

| Beaverton, OR, USA | Dating

(I am staying at my boyfriend’s apartment. A few hours after waking up, my boyfriend said he had a headache. We lie on the couch, him resting his head on my chest and we both end up falling asleep. It’s been a few hours. We both wake up.)

Me: “Oh my gosh, babe. What time is it?”

(I look at the clock and see that we have been asleep for roughly three and a half hours.)

Me: “I guess I fell asleep, too. How are you feeling?”

Boyfriend: “My headache is gone.” *he squeezes my left breast* “Bee boop!”

Me: “What was that for?”

Boyfriend: “Your boobs are magic. They fixed my headache!”

Me: “Oh, are they?”

Boyfriend: “Yes! Beep boop beep!” *he squeezes my right breast*

Me: “What in the world are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “I wish your boobs made sound effects. That would be so cool.”

Me: “Honey, maybe you should get some more rest.”

Boyfriend: “Only if I can sleep on your ‘bee boops.'”

Me: “My boobs?”

Boyfriend: “No. They are your ‘bee boops’ now.”

(My boyfriend lays his head back on my chest and falls asleep. Now, whenever he sees me, he always smirks and says “bee boop.” It always makes me laugh!)

The Breast Medicine, Part 3
The Breast Medicine, Part 2
The Breast Medicine

To Be Beside The Seedy Side

| Tasmania, Australia | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are sitting on a pier looking into the water. I see what I think is a weedy sea dragon, which is a type of seahorse. I can sometimes be a bit dyslexic with my words.)

Boyfriend: “Look, a fish!”

Me: “No, that’s a seedy wee dragon.”

(My boyfriend just looks at me.)

Me: “… I did not mean to say that.”