I Mean What I Said (Or Slurred)

| New Zealand | Dating

(My boyfriend and I were at a beer tasting the night before, and got a little tipsy because both of us were lightweights. As a result, we ended up saying “I love you” to each other for the first time. Flash forward to the next day.)

Me: “So you meant what you said last night?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I was horny and I was drunk. But I’d been wanting to say it for ages, so it seemed as good a time as any!”

Me: *laughing*

Taking The Smile Out Of Simile

| Sydney, Australia | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are at dinner with friends. Most of them are married or in long-term relationships. As we are leaving the table, he wraps his arm around me and suddenly grabs me just above my hip.)

Me: “Ow! What are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “Hmmmmm…”

Me: “What? What is it?”

Boyfriend: *squeezing my hip* “It’s like a pastry thingie.”

Me: “What?!”

Friend: “Did you just call her fat?”

Boyfriend: “I meant…like…like baklava. Sweet? And layered?”

Me: *fuming*

Friend: “I don’t think she’s buying it, dude.”

Compliment Incompetent

| Lincoln, NE, USA | Dating

(Note: I have brown eyes.)

Him: “I love your eyes.”

Me: “Aww…”

Him: “They’re like chocolate…”

Me: *squee*

Him: “Or mud…”

Me: *facepalm*

Hopefully, His Love Isn’t Also Full Of Hot Air

| UK | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are sitting in bed watching TV. He turns to me with a loving look in his eyes.)

Boyfriend: *burping* “I…LOVE…YOU.”

Me: “Wow. Just wow.”

Not All Fantasies Are Final

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Dating, Family/Kids, Marriage & Partners, Top

(This conversation happened while my then-girlfriend and I were dating. It was our third date, and somehow the conversation had come around to children.)

Girlfriend: “So, um, do you like kids?”

Me: “Sure do. I have 6 younger cousins, which I used to babysit during the summer.”

Girlfriend: “Aww, that’s cute. So, um, do you think you would ever have kids of your own someday?”

Me: *shrugs* “Yeah. Maybe. I’ve always thought it would be nice to have a little girl of my own.”

Girlfriend: “Really? You’ve always wanted a daughter? Me too.”

Me: “That’s cool. Let me guess…you have a name picked out already, don’t you?”

Wife: *shyly* “Yes…I picked it from Final Fantasy.”

Me: “Huh? Really? Let me guess…is it Aerith?”

(FYI, Aerith is a well-known female video game character from Final Fantasy VII.)

Girlfriend: “How’d you guess?”

Me: “I didn’t. I’ve always liked that name. I wouldn’t mind having a daughter with that name.”

Girlfriend: “That’s cute. Maybe if you’re lucky, that might happen.”

Me: “Maybe…”

(It’s five years later, and we’re married. My wife and I also have a little girl named Aerith!)

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