Grog Carry Bag, Grog Not Fashion Consultant

| Houston, TX, USA | Marriage & Partners

Customer: “What do you think about this bra?”

Customer’s husband: “Umm… sure.”

Customer: “Okay, should I get this one in white or black?”

Customer’s husband: “I don’t know! I don’t wear them, I just take them off of you!”

Also seen on: Not Always Right.

Oooh, So That’s What Marriage Is For

| Melbourne, Australia | Flirting, Marriage & Partners

(A guy has been leaning over the counter trying to chat me up while I rang up his purchases. Finally, he notices the rings on my finger.)

Customer: “Oh, you’re married?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Don’t you find that puts guys off?”

Also seen on: Not Always Right.

Hopefully They Didn’t Fly, Because Someone’s Walking Home

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Dating

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

Hotel Guest: “I was charged for two movies last night that I did not watch.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately I can not adjust these movies off. They were completely viewed from beginning to end–both movies.”

Hotel Guest: “That’s absurd, there’s no way I saw those movies last night. I was asleep. What are the movies that were watched?”

Me: “They’re adult movies, ma’am…”

Hotel Guest: *enraged* “I DID NOT WATCH ANY DIRTY MOVIES!”

Me: “Is there someone else in your room that may have ordered them?”

Hotel Guest: “It’s just me and my boyfriend…”

Me: *tight smile*

Hotel Guest: “Oh. My. God. He ordered porn. We’re at a romantic getaway and he orders porn! I’m going to kill him!”

Related:
Hopefully, She Got The House

Also seen on: Not Always Right.

Hopefully, She Got The House

| Rhode Island, USA | Fights/Breakups, Infidelity, Marriage & Partners

Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

Guest: “Hi, yes, I’m calling because your hotel charged our credit card twice?”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, if I can have your name, I’ll look you up in the computer and we can get this straightened out.”

Guest: *morphs into an uber-witch in 3 seconds flat* “Straightened out? D**n right you’re going to get this straightened out! You charged enough for that crappy little room, I’ll be d**ned if we’re paying for it twice! My husband works too hard for his money to be charged double for something like this! There wasn’t even a BAR there!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if I can just have your name and the date you stayed–”

Guest: “That’s just IT! I was charged on two separate DATES. My name is _______ and my husband and I stayed there on June 9th. There’s another charge on there for the 17th, I want this fixed!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand, ma’am. I’m looking now, ma’am… okay, I see the problem. You did stay here on the 9th of June. I’m showing that someone by the name of [husband] stayed on the 17th.”

(There’s dead silence for a moment, and then whispering.)

Guest: “What?”

(At this point my stomach falls into my shoes, because I can hear her mind ticking away, and I know something she doesn’t: another name is listed on the screen with her husband’s for the June 17th stay, and it’s NOT HERS.)

Me: “Um… ma’am?”

Guest: “I see. You’ve been very helpful.”

Me: “Thank you ma’am. Can I help you with anything else today–”

(At this moment the woman drops the phone but does not hang up, and I hear her begin to scream at someone, swearing in combos I never would have thought up. I hang up quickly and try to go about my business, making a note of it to tell my boss. Then I get another phone call…)

Me: “Thank you for calling, how–”

Guest’s husband: “I want to talk to your manager, you stupid little b**ch! You dumb little c**t, you probably just cost me my marriage and I am going to sue your s**thole hotel for every penny it’s worth! Do you hear me? Do you?!”

Me: *click*

Also seen on: Not Always Right.

Sorry I Asked

| Gorham, ME, USA | Family/Kids, Young Love

(I notice an older woman and her twenty-something long-haired son struggling to find a certain brush in our hair care aisle.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

Mother: “Help me? Help ME? The only way you could help me is to make my Fabio son over here stop dating thirteen year old girls!”

Also seen on: Not Always Right.