Trumps All Romantic Gestures

| Devon, England, UK | Dating, Popular

(I’m playing trumps with my boyfriend and his family. The trick, or round, is started with the suit of hearts.)

Boyfriend’s Mother: “Are you all out of hearts, [Boyfriend]?”

Boyfriend: “Of course. I gave mine to [My Name].”

(He earned a peck on the cheek for that one!)

No Hiccups In Their Plans

| San Jose, CA, USA | Dating, Popular

(My boyfriend and I never really had a phase when we were touchy about bodily functions around each other, plus we have been together for over six years. In addition, I have never exactly been ladylike. We rent a room from his mom – our place is small and has thin walls, which definitely puts a damper on our sex life. We’ve been in a bit of a dry spell but she has just gone out and won’t be back for a while, so we plan on taking advantage. We are in the middle of preparing when:)

Me: *belches*

Boyfriend: “That was… seductive…”

Me: “Whatever; you know you’re going to have sex with me anyway.”

Boyfriend: “Heck yeah, I am!”

A Love Beyond Words

| Ball, LA, USA | Dating, Popular

(I’m watching TV and my boyfriend has fallen asleep on the couch. When he’s exhausted, my boyfriend talks in his sleep.)

Boyfriend: *mutters incoherently*

Me: “What?”

Boyfriend: “I love you and you’re beautiful and—” *makes a noise that sounds like “errmblergh”*

Me: “Errmblergh”?

Boyfriend: “Exactly. That’s why I love you.”

Not The Most Peaceful Community

| Australia | Dating, Popular

(I am watching Alison Brie in ‘Community’ and admiring how hot she is wearing a cowgirl outfit in a paintball game.)

Boyfriend: “I’m sorry, babe, but if there was ever a chance to get with her—”

Me: “—I’d shoot you and take the chance myself.”

The Cruising Dead

| Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA | Dating, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are waiting for our cruise ship to disembark. We are discussing the muster drill we did earlier, where everyone on the ship must line up and be shown where to go in the event of an emergency, and how to wear a life vest.)

Me: “The muster drill was fun, though if we had a zombie on board that would have been the perfect time for them to attack.”

Boyfriend: “How is a zombie going to get on board?”

Me: “I don’t know but it would make a great movie.”

Boyfriend: “Don’t tempt the fates.”

(Right then the ships horn goes off and everyone outside jumps including me.)

Boyfriend: “The zombies know where we are now…”