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When You Don’t Want To Get A Life

| Australia | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My girlfriend has exams in just a few days, so she is cramming as much study in as she can. I have been getting constant updates via text on how horrible her day is going, when I get this:)

Girlfriend: “When life gets hard, tell life to go to Hell; you’re too busy for it’s s***.”

(I think it’s safe to say she was fed up.)

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Bewitching Music

| Portland, OR, USA | Engaged, Popular

(I am a practicing witch, whereas my fiancé is non-religious. This conversation happens during our discussing moving in together.)

Me: “Do you mind if I hang witchy stuff on our bedroom walls?”

Fiancé: “Go for it. Just as long as I can hang whatever I want up, too.”

Me: “Sure thing! What kind of stuff?”

Fiancé: *thinks for a moment* “Severed goat’s heads.”

Me: *shocked* “Those are invoking the wrong kinds of spirits!”

Fiancé: “Yeah, the metal kind! There will be only one religious holiday in our household, and it will be the Sabbath. The Black Sabbath!”

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Some Proper Meaty Puns

| Elk Grove, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Punny

(My boyfriend and I are doodling on paper while we wait for our food. We both love puns.)

Me: “I luff you!”

Boyfriend: “Meat loaf you, too.”

(I think he’s a keeper!)