Should Write This Story Down

| WI, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(I am at my boyfriend’s house and I get up to go to the bathroom, forgetting that I am on my period and should grab a pad in case mine needs to be changed. Sure enough, the pad is very much full. I call him and he comes to the door and asks what I need. Having asked him to grab a pad for me in the past without incident, I ask him to get me one out of my bag.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, where’s your bag?”

Me: “Downstairs in that corner by the couch.”

(He is gone for a while and I think nothing of it because my bag is a very large tote bag that I use to carry my laptop and its charger, my hard drawing portfolio in case I get bored and want to sketch, and still have room for other stuff. I can even use it as an overnight bag and fit a change of clothes and snacks in there. Finally he comes back up and as I am unlocking the door for him, I hear this gem:)

Boyfriend: “I found a pen-cil.” *with emphasis on cil*

Me: “Wait… what?”

Boyfriend: “I found a pencil.”

Me: *trying to figure out how this happened* “I asked for a pad…”

Boyfriend: “Oh! I thought you said pen.”

Me: “Why would I need a pen or pencil while on the toilet?!”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know. I thought maybe you wanted to write something down.” *goes back downstairs*

(After a bit, he comes back up again. I reach over and unlock the door and he sticks his hand in… holding something very tiny.)

Me: “What?” *laughing* “No! That’s a freaking panty liner!”

Boyfriend: “Well, it’s all I could find.”

Me: “All right, I’ll put it in for now and go down and look for myself.”

(I go down there and look in my bag to find out that he only dug around on one side of the bag by my portfolio. I pull it upright from its leaning position and look between it and the laptop and triumphantly find a pad, showing him.)

Boyfriend: “Oh, shush.”

Me: “Okay, but even if I HAD asked for a pen, I know for a fact I have at least two black ones in there, plus all my markers. There is no paper in the bathroom, if I needed to write something down, I would have had to use my arm and a pencil wouldn’t really work for that.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I found the white gel pens and the markers…”


Sweet And Salty Love

| Syracuse, NY, USA | Engaged, Popular

(I’m just getting home and my fiancé comes to give me a hug. I smile when I see him.)

Fiancé: “I love your smile.”

Me: “I love all of you.” *kisses*

Fiancé: “You light up the room.”

Me: “You taste like pretzels.”


Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 69

| Salisbury, England, UK | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Zombies

(My girlfriend and I are lying in bed one morning and I decide to pop the question.)

Me: “What would you do if I became a zombie?”

Girlfriend: “Well, I’d make sure that you were a good zombie but if you weren’t I’d put you in a cage but if you got really bad I’d shoot you.”

Me: “Fair enough. If you turned I’d let you bite me ‘cause I know you like to win. Then I’d shoot you myself.”

Girlfriend: “I didn’t know we could do that!”

Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 67
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 66
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 65


Likes A Big Black Deck

| Umeå, Sweden | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(I am playing an online card game and my husband is sitting at his computer in the next room over.)

Me: “This was actually a lot of fun. I liked playing as Khadgar; I love his deck!”

Husband: *indignant* “Excuse me?!”

Me: “…”

Husband: “Oh.”

Me: *start giggling*

Husband: “Yeah, so, I might have misheard that one…”


Not The Entrance You Were Thinking Of

| Chesterfield, England, UK | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(Having just had new doors and windows fitted in our home, we realise the back door, patio, and front door keys all look exactly the same. We are discussing different ways to mark them to be able to tell which is which, when I come up with a funny idea that they have different smells. In pretending to show her how it would work I say…)

Me: *sniffing each key in turn* “This is for the front door, this one the patio, and this one definitely smells like a back door.”

(Cue us falling apart laughing a second later when we realised what I’d said!)