Hit With All Manner Of Vehicles

| MD, USA | Dating

(My boyfriend has chronic sinusitis, so often has a cough. The weather was very damp, which was aggravating his condition and he had a particularly harsh coughing fit.)

Me: “You okay?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, that hit like a freight truck!”

Me: “Train?”

Boyfriend: “That too!”

Me: “Jus’ checking.”

It’s Your Fault, Period

| San Jose, CA, USA | Dating, Popular

(My boyfriend and I both strongly agree that we don’t want kids. We always use birth control but know accidents can still happen, so whenever I have my period we try to see the lack of unwanted conception as a silver lining to the annoyance. I am having a particularly long, heavy, painful period this month and am lying in bed wishing it was over.)

Boyfriend: “Are you feeling any better?”

Me: “Ugh, not really.” *pause* “Sweetie, I really appreciate you not making me pregnant. But, do you have to do it so comprehensively next time?”

Boyfriend: “I’m sorry; this is clearly all my fault. I’ll try to do better next time.”

(I laughed so hard that it did make me a bit less miserable! He’s a keeper, all right.)

The Gif That Keeps On Giffing

| The Netherlands | Dating

(I’m a big fan of a certain show and reblog a lot of pictures on it on Tumblr. The producers have just released another trailer for the next season and I’m gushing over a couple of gifs.)

Me: “Oooh, you can actually see cleavage in this dress.”

Boyfriend: “Eh, I’ve seen more.”

Me: “Babe, it’s set in the 50s. This is a lot of cleavage.”

Boyfriend: “Whatever. I don’t really care. She has a square face.”

Me: “Don’t you diss [Actress]. You haven’t even seen the show.”

Boyfriend: “No, but I’ve seen you reblog every single gif-set you came across and that’s basically the same thing.”