Not Very Good At Eye Spy

| USA | Flirting/How We Met

(I’m at a summer activity for young single adults when this guy, about a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter than me, singles me out and attempts to flirt.)

Guy: “You know, I think girls with blonde hair and blue eyes are the most attractive in the world.”

Me: “…”

Guy: *a minute later when I don’t thank him or anything* “Oh!” *squints at me* “Your eyes are brown.”

Me: “Yep.”

Guy: “Well… uh… I think girls with blonde hair and brown eyes are like… tied with girls with blue eyes…”

Me: “Uh huh.”

(The rest of the conversation went nowhere, despite him never giving up. Kudos for trying.)

No Time To Sleep

| WI, USA | Marriage & Partners

(Due to working a full time job and attending school at the same time, I have not been getting nearly enough sleep at night. While this usually means I fall asleep almost instantly once I’m in bed, my sleep is often not restful. This story was recounted to me by my husband.)

Me: *suddenly sitting up from a dead sleep* “What time is it?!”

Husband: “Huh? What?”

Me: “What year is it?!”

Husband: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “There’s no time! What year is it? We don’t have enough time left!”

Husband: “Are you all right? What’s going on!”

Me: “There’s no time! We don’t have any time!”

Husband: *catching on* “Go back to sleep.”

Me: *lying back down* “There’s no time…”

(I have no clear memory of this happening at all, but I ended up missing my alarm and oversleeping the next morning. I guess I really didn’t have enough time!)

Warm And Tinder Parents

| NY, USA | Dating

(I am texting my boyfriend, who is spending the day with his sister and two-year-old nephew. A few days ago he was surprised to hear that my good friend, who now lives with her boyfriend in Texas, originally met him on Tinder.)

Me: “I can’t imagine any of my friends having kids any time soon. Well, maybe [Friend in Texas], in a few years.”

Boyfriend: “Hmm, a Tinder baby? Do you call that kindling?”

Me: “Haha!”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, that was a good one. I just laughed out loud at my own joke.”