Leave With Your Tail Between His Legs

| TN, USA | Crush, Popular

(I’m in a Christian private school, in band class. My brain has no filter and we make sentences without making sure I will come across right.)

Me: *going to door to prop it open and see the prop is under my crush’s feet*

Me: “Hey, I need to get in between your legs.”

Crush: *instantly goes red*

Me: *realizing what I said* “I… uhhm… I meant… I…” *scoots away*

Going Through A Dark (Chocolate) Period

| FL, USA | Dating, Popular

(I’ve been on my period for about three days now and my cramps can get pretty bad. Today they are worse than normal and I decide to lay on the couch with a heating pad on my abdomen. Suddenly, my boyfriend of six months runs over:)

Boyfriend: *throws dark chocolate at my lower abdomen* “DIE, PMS! DIE, PERIOD! GO AWAY NOW!

(He’s the one.)

Their Love Awakens

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Engaged, Popular

(My fiancé and I are both huge nerds. This is about two weeks before the new Star Wars movies come out and we’re discussing the upcoming films.)

Me: “I’m starting to get that excited feeling in my stomach. I can’t wait to see them! I mean, I know that once I see them they’ll be terrible and my very soul will be crushed, but until then—”

Fiancé: *talking over me* “You might even say you’ll have…”

Me: *at the same time* “—I’ve got…”

Both Of Us: *simultaneously* “A New Hope!”

Who Won?

San Francisco, CA, USA | Engaged, Popular

(I play ‘Game of War: Fire Age.’ It has a variety of noises for its push notifications, such as an alert noise if you get attacked and a magical-fairy chime if you get a new gift. Meanwhile, away from my phone, my fiancée and I are in bed doing bedroom things.)

Fiancée: “Why don’t you get on top.”

(As I slide into her for the first time…)

Phone: *magical fairy chime*

(Needless to say, that was the end of festivities for a moment.)

Well-Rounded Fear

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Dating, Popular

(It should be noted I am a small female. I am always trying to convince my boyfriend that I am fearsome and intimidating… But I am also a huge wimp when it comes to the cold.)

Me: “Name one thing that isn’t fearsome about me.”

Boyfriend: “It’d just be easier to name things that are.”

Me: “Easy. My fists of steel and my soul of night.”

Boyfriend: “Your fists of steel that are currently wearing owl mittens?”

Me: “…Fists of steel get cold, too!”

Boyfriend: “And your soul of night that likes kittens and coloring?”

Me: “…Well, who doesn’t?!”