They’re Smart Cookies

| NY, USA | Dating, Popular

(My relatively new boyfriend and I are talking through Facebook messenger. We like to send each other mushy Facebook stickers, which are little pictures of characters and things.)

Me: *sends sticker showing a smiling cookie and smiling glass of milk*

Boyfriend: “You’re cookie; I’m milk.”

Me: “So, we’re delicious individually, but even better together?”

Boyfriend: “Exactly!”

The Circle Of Strife

| TX, USA | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(My husband and I are listening to a news talk radio station while we are on the road. A story about Chikungunya comes on, discussing how it gets spread by mosquitoes. Without any kind of sign or warning my husband starts chanting, to the tune of the opening song on The Lion King, ‘Circle of Life.’)

Husband: “Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya. Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya…”

Me: *singing over him* “From the time you first swatted that skeeter, you feel anxiety of the unknown — West Nile, could it be? Why did it have to bite me? What’s this rash all over my bo-dy? Ooooh Chiiiiiiikun-gunyaaaaaa — Our vacation is ru-i-n-ed…”

Husband: *now drumming on the steering wheel* “Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya, Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya…”

Me: “Iii-ieeeeeeeeeeee….eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” *to sound like mosquito buzzing*

(We then both stopped singing, didn’t mention it, and went on with our drive.)

Girls Have A New Best Friend

| Westchester, NY, USA | Dating, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are lying in bed in the morning on a Saturday. We are spooning, so I’m facing away from him.)

Me: “I could cuddle forever.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah… wait, what did you say?”

Me: “I said I could cuddle forever.”

Boyfriend: “Oh! That makes a lot more sense. I thought you said ‘Cows are forever.'”

Me: *through laughter* “Wait… so you thought I said ‘Cows are forever’… and your response was ‘Yeah’? You weren’t even going to question it?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know. I thought it was like ‘Diamonds are forever’!”

Love Takes Groot

| Waterloo, ON, Canada | Dating, Popular

(My boyfriend and I were cuddling in a way that had me wrapped around him like a koala bear.)

Me: “I’m koala-hugging you!”

Boyfriend: “You’re what?”

Me: “Koala-hugging you. I’m wrapped around you like a koala, and you’re my eucalyptus tree.”

Boyfriend: “So you’re a koala now, huh?”

Me: “Yeah, and it makes sense. You keep me calm, I cling to you, you make me happy and normal… You don’t get me high, though.”

Boyfriend: “Well, if I’m a tree, do you know what that means?”

Me: “No, what?”

Boyfriend: “I AM GROOT!”

A Muted Reaction

| Hettenhausen, Germany | Family/Kids, Hall of Fame, Marriage & Partners, Popular

(My husband is sitting on the couch watching TV. I come in to tell him some good news.)

Me: “Hey honey, guess what?”

Husband: “Huh?” *keeps staring at TV*

Me: “I said, ‘Guess what?'”

Husband: “Uh…what?”

Me: “The pregnancy test is positive!”

Husband: “Cool. Let me finish this movie. I’ve never seen it.”

Me: “That’s all I get? Cool?

Husband: *holds fist out for knuckle bump* “Better?”

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