Won’t Take That Lying Down

| UK | Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are just enjoying each others company after a particularly good sexy-time.)

Me: “You’re so good at sex.”

Husband: “Thanks. You are, too.”

Me: “But you do all the work. I mostly just lie there.”

Husband: “Yes, but do you so DYNAMICALLY!”

They’ll Propose During The Next Star Trek Movie Instead

| Washington, D.C., USA | Dating

(I am in bed with my boyfriend watching TV. We are pretty much engaged but he hasn’t officially proposed yet. After, a trailer for some romantic comedy comes on:)

Me: “Do you want to see that just to see [Popular Actress] in her underwear?”

Boyfriend: “No. I don’t like romantic comedies, and neither do you.”

(We high-five.)

Not Predicting A Happily Ever After Here

| Germany | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are walking through the city and spot a little girl who has her face painted as a tiger. I should mention I’m not girly or anything at all and I sometimes call my boyfriend my hero as a nickname.)

Boyfriend: *joking* “Oooh, wanna have your face painted too? As a princess?!”

Me: “Princess? Huh?! But wait, yeah, you’re my hero, then!”

Boyfriend: “Awesome, now we just have to decide if your mom or mine will be the dragon!”

Pimp My Joke

| PA, USA | Dating

(My boyfriend likes to tease me, and after a bad day, his joking is annoying yet cheering me up as we head to his office.)

Me: *laughing* “You are such an insufferable d*** sometimes.”

Boyfriend: “Yes, I know.”

(He then gives me some dollars bills, which I use for the bus.)

Boyfriend: “…At least you get paid for the privilege.”

Me: “You know, it feels wrong to accept money for that. Like a weird kind of prostitution.”

Boyfriend: “It’s called pester-tution.”

Can’t See The Burning Wood For The Trees

| MI, USA | Marriage & Partners

(I am listing of random restaurants for lunch and pause to think of another.)

Husband: *in another room* “I’m listening.”

Me: “I’m thinking. You’re not in here. You can’t smell the wood burning.”

Husband: “You smell wood burning? That’s not good.”

Me: “…”

Husband: “Oh… I took you literally about smelling wood burning.”