A Late Comeback

| USA | Dating, Popular

(The man I’m currently seeing is quite a bit older than me; I’m in my early 20s. He has just texted his son to tell him that he’ll be a bit late. When we get back to our “activities” I ask him a question.)

Me: “Does my age bother you?”

Him: “No. I like that you’re young, because I’m young.”

Me: *without thinking* “At heart!”

Him: *stops and looks at me* “Looks like I won’t be late after all.”

(I fell into a giggle fit.. Lucky for me he stayed a bit longer.)

Shield Me From Your Dreams

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(I’m lying in bed with my wife, who’s asleep.)

Wife: *rolls over so she’s facing me, still asleep* “…they’ll have to go through you to get to me!” *laughs*

Me: “Thanks.”

Romance Is Barred

| CT, USA | Flirting, Popular

(My boyfriend works at the bar in the restaurant we work at. Servers put the bar glasses on a platform on the other side of the bar, and then whoever is cleaning the glasses will move them over to the sink. When my boyfriend is at the sink, I bring the glasses to him so I can say a quick hello. This happens when a coworker is at the sink and I put the glasses on the other side.)

Coworker: “Whenever [Boyfriend] is at the sink, you bring him the cups. But I have to come all the way over here! It’s not fair!”

Me: “Hey, once you give me kisses and tell me I’m cute then I’ll bring the glasses to the sink for you.”

Coworker: *looks around* “Where’s [Boyfriend]? I don’t see him come here.” *jokingly leans in for a kiss*

Beauty Before Age

| Austin, TX, USA | Flirting, Popular

(For the last 15 minutes, I have taken notice that a guest sitting in the breakfast area keeps on eyeing the front desk. As we get busy with check-outs, I stop paying attention to the man. Just when it starts to slow down, the man walks toward the front desk.)

Guest: “I have been staring at the most gorgeous lady for the last 30 minutes.”

Me: “Oh, who?”

Guest: “You, silly!”

Me: *laughs* “Now that’s a lie.”

Guest: “So, what are you doing after work?”

(I tell him that I have a few urgent priorities that need attending to. He understands. We begin talking about our backgrounds, and he asks me what I did besides working. I tell him that I am a college student, studying psychology at a university nearby.)

Guest: “Oh! How nice! I graduated 13 years ago from my university!”

(And then there was a pause, in which both of us counted in our heads how much older he was than me, approximately. And as realization hit his face, he quickly muttered a “thank you” and “take care” and walked out of the lobby. I could not help but burst into giggles.)

Time To Booty Them Out

| AR, USA | Flirting, Popular

(I work in a student center where university students can come borrow games or other academic equipment. I’m a female and have an unusually large behind, much to my embarrassment.)

Me: *chatting with a regular* “I noticed you brought a friend with you today.”

Regular: “Yeah, imma whoop him in COD.”

Me: *laughing, I turn to the new guy, and notice he’s been staring at me silently* “Do you need help with anything before you beat [Regular]?”

Customer: “Mmmm…”

(He stares at me awkwardly for a while before leaning on my desk.)

Customer: “Listen, I gotta ask. Are you mixed?”

Me: “No, I’m about as white as they come.”

Customer: “D***! You ain’t got a white girl booty, though.”

Me: *awkwardly laughing* “Well, that’s just genetics I guess…”

Customer: “No, listen, if you were my girl I’d ride that all day every day.”

Me: “Uhh…”

(At this point the line is backed up, and my other female coworker, who just started, is staring at me, wide-eyed. Luckily, our regular noticed what was happening.)

Regular: “Dude, don’t be a jack-a**.”

(He then dragged the other guy away as I heard him say “What?! It was a compliment!” I informed my boss, who is also female, and haven’t seen the guy since.)