A Name That Spreads Fear Among Your Enemies

| Sweden | Dating

(I am on my computer, and my boyfriend is in another room on his, playing a game with his friend. Let it be known that neither of us are fans or even pay attention to Hannah Montana, ever. I’m not listening to the talking coming from the room, until suddenly the following happens.)

Boyfriend: “Yeah!” *chanting* “Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!”

Me: “…um… Did you just go ‘Hannah Montana, Hannah Montana!?'”

Boyfriend: “Yeah!”

Me: “…Why?”

Boyfriend: “I am taunting my enemies! Let me be!”

Me: “…”

(After hearing some more Hannah Montana chants and even a sing-song version, I went straight to this site. I am still confused.)

Leaving Her Listless

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Dating

(My girlfriend’s apartment is on the third floor overlooking the courtyard. She and her mom have gone shopping, leaving me to babysit her mom’s Pomeranian. Only a couple minutes after they leave, the intercom rings.)

Girlfriend: “Sweetie, I left my shopping list on the table. Can you please bring it down for me?”

Me: “Awww, can’t I just fold it into a paper plane and throw it out the window?”

Girlfriend: “Only if you’re absolutely certain it will definitely actually fly.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I hang up, fold the list, lean out the window, and try to aim at her. At first it looks like it’ll land near her, but then catches a breeze and floats over the fence to land on the sidewalk. It’s less than 10 feet away, but she has to go around 30+ feet of fence to reach it. She shoots me a look.)

Me: *laughing* “Well, it definitely actually flew!”

(A few minutes later, she’s at the intercom again.)

Girlfriend: “Mom and I decided we’re just going to go straight to her house. Could you bring the dog down?”

Me: “Okay.”

(I head down, and as I open the lobby door to hand off the dog…)

Me: *in fake whiny voice* “Awww, can’t I just throw HER out the window too?”

Girlfriend: *laughing* “I WAS thinking about saying ‘and no throwing her out the window!'”

To The Breast Of His Knowledge

| IL, USA | Dating

(I’m hanging out with a group of friends and my boyfriend when I overhear him talking to his male friends.)

Friend: “I mean, how heavy can breasts be anyways?”

Boyfriend: “Well, it depends on the girl’s diet.”

Friend: “…What?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, the fattier foods they eat the bigger their breasts are!”

(I started laughing along with everyone else in the room. My poor boyfriend was red in the face and I had to give him the talk that night about what really causes breast size. We’re both 20 years old!)