The Biggest Mistake To Assume Too Early

| Austria | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(I’m having a drink with a group of friends, among them an older married couple who have been married for decades.)

The Husband: *about his wife* “My biggest mistake—”

All Of Us: “Aww, you’re so mean!”

The Husband: “—was thinking she was only a summer fling.”

It Will All Turn To S*** Later

| NY, USA | Advice, Popular

(I have a history of not so great relationships, but I’ve started dating someone who seems really great. I am texting my friend.)

Me: “Something weird is happening. I feel happy.”

Friend: “It’s probably indigestion.”

Making Drinking An Art Form

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(This takes place in a hotel bar. A husband and wife have entered from the hotel side before seeing the sights. We were all very jealous of their plans for the day.)

Husband: “How ’bout a glass of wine before we head to the art institute?”

Wife: “Only one?”

Husband: “Well… one… each… to start.”

Wife: “That’s better.”