This Game Bites

| France | Dating

(While I can be frank to the point of awkwardness, I don’t open up easily about intimate matters to my friends. I’m playing mahjong with my boyfriend and two friends of ours. Friend #1 hesitates about a discard I might win on, and Friend #2 gets impatient.)

Friend #2: “Come on, cast it. [My Name] doesn’t bite.”

Boyfriend: “Oh, she does bite. Just not in public.”

(I freeze and both friends snicker.)

Friend #2: *laughing* “We do not need to know that, man.”

Boyfriend: *innocently* “What?” *realization dawns on him* “No, no, I meant the way she speaks her mind—”

Friend #1: “Stop right there. Now.”

Their Love Is Still In Beta(max)

| KY, USA | Engaged

(In an attempt to save money for the wedding, my fiancé and I have started making date nights dinner out followed by a movie at home. Earlier in the night, we’d discussed several options in our movie collection. After finishing the movie:)

Fiancé: “Are we officially old because we “DVD and chill” instead of “Netflix and chill”?”

Me: “I don’t think that’s as big a concern as the fact that if we’d watching the other movie, it would have been “VHS and chill.””

Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

| OK, USA | Dating

(This story was relayed to me by my boyfriend. We have lived together for a few years now.)

Boyfriend: “Yeah, so [My Name] is going on a trip for work for like a week.”

Coworker: “Awesome! What are you gonna do having the house all to yourself?”

Boyfriend: “Um… probably just work and sleep.”

Coworker: “What? Aren’t you glad to have some time off from your girlfriend?”

Boyfriend: “…No. I like being around [My Name]. That’s why I’m dating her.”

(This is a concept he has had to explain to a depressing number of people.)