(I’m seven-months pregnant and out of it. My husband is getting ready to go to work, and kisses me on the neck.)
Husband: “Why did the girl vampire not like the boy vampire?”
Husband: “Because he had bat breath!”
Me: *completely monotone* “Oh. I thought it was because he sucks too much.”
Husband: “That’s… not very kid appropriate.”
(I am watching a program called The Apprentice (the UK version) with my girlfriend. We are sitting on the sofa with a bowl of crisps and selection of dips between us.)
Girlfriend: “Which one is your favourite?”
Me: “The blonde one.”
Girlfriend: “Errr… I meant the dips?”
(Earlier in the evening, I had discovered that my boyfriend had never heard of the group Lonely Island and so we had spent some time looking at videos. We are now having sexy time when my boyfriend breaks away from me.)
(My boyfriend looks down. I follow his gaze and realize that the cat had climbed on my hip without me noticing and is watching the two of us with a very intense look.)
Boyfriend: “And do the creep-ah. Do the creep!”
(My father-in-law is finishing his homemade chicken soup lunch while mom-in-law and I are talking.)
Father-In-Law: *suddenly says* “Oh!”
(We looked over as he placed a small chicken bone in front of her.)
Father-In-Law: “You’re trying to kill me.”
Mother-In-Law: *puts her hands on her hips* “If you remember, I wasn’t the one who deboned that chicken!”
Father-In-Law: *looks at the bone and replies* “Oh.” *short pause* “I was trying to kill YOU.”
Introducing the Theme Of The Month: Fight The Bigotry!
Entering is easy:
- Submit a funny or interesting story about this month’s theme: Fight The Bigotry. Share a story where you’ve had to fight bigotry in your relationship!
- At the end of the month, we’ll feature our favorite Theme Of The Month stories in a roundup!