Sweet And Salty Love

| Syracuse, NY, USA | Engaged, Popular

(I’m just getting home and my fiancé comes to give me a hug. I smile when I see him.)

Fiancé: “I love your smile.”

Me: “I love all of you.” *kisses*

Fiancé: “You light up the room.”

Me: “You taste like pretzels.”


Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 69

| Salisbury, England, UK | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Zombies

(My girlfriend and I are lying in bed one morning and I decide to pop the question.)

Me: “What would you do if I became a zombie?”

Girlfriend: “Well, I’d make sure that you were a good zombie but if you weren’t I’d put you in a cage but if you got really bad I’d shoot you.”

Me: “Fair enough. If you turned I’d let you bite me ‘cause I know you like to win. Then I’d shoot you myself.”

Girlfriend: “I didn’t know we could do that!”

Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 67
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 66
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 65


Likes A Big Black Deck

| Umeå, Sweden | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(I am playing an online card game and my husband is sitting at his computer in the next room over.)

Me: “This was actually a lot of fun. I liked playing as Khadgar; I love his deck!”

Husband: *indignant* “Excuse me?!”

Me: “…”

Husband: “Oh.”

Me: *start giggling*

Husband: “Yeah, so, I might have misheard that one…”


Not The Entrance You Were Thinking Of

| Chesterfield, England, UK | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(Having just had new doors and windows fitted in our home, we realise the back door, patio, and front door keys all look exactly the same. We are discussing different ways to mark them to be able to tell which is which, when I come up with a funny idea that they have different smells. In pretending to show her how it would work I say…)

Me: *sniffing each key in turn* “This is for the front door, this one the patio, and this one definitely smells like a back door.”

(Cue us falling apart laughing a second later when we realised what I’d said!)


English Dirty Talk

| England, UK | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(My husband is English while I am not.)

Me: “What’s a nice English boy like you doing with a girl like me?”

Husband: *uncontrollable laughing*

Me: “What?”

Husband: “I just imagined you saying something very similar during sex.”

Me: *also laughing* “I take it back! You’re not a good English boy at all!”