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This Is Why We Can’t Have Snice Things

| Lewisville, TX, USA | Engaged, Popular, Punny

(My fiancé is cooking sausages for dinner, which we had jokingly been calling “snausages.” I walk through the kitchen and make an observation.)

Me: “The snausages are snizzling.”

(Later…)

Fiancé: “The snausages are snready.”

Me: “See, this is why I’m in charge of puns and dumb wordplay around here.”

Fiancé: “Why?”

Me: “Because the snausages are snerved.”

Fiancé: “…”

Me: “You love me.”

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The Wrong Kind Of Falling In Love

, | Panama City, FL, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(I suffer from severe panic attacks due to abuse I suffered growing up. If my brain thinks I’m being hurt in anyway, it’ll shut down and go into panic mode. My boyfriend, does his best to help me through them. This happened while we’re making dinner. I ended up spilling burning hot grease on my arm.)

Me: *feeling myself starting to panic* “[Boyfriend]!” *hoping he would catch before falling*

Boyfriend: “S***! [My Name]! *lunges to catch me but fails*

(Two days later, I wake in the hospital attached to a couple of machines and an IV. My boyfriend has his head on the bed and is holding my hand.)

Me: “[Boyfriend]?”

Boyfriend: *jolts awake at his name and looks right at me. His face breaks out into the hugest grin* “Hey. You’re awake. Oh, thank God.” *his expression suddenly turns serious* “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Me: *completely confused* “What do you mean?”

(With that he figured out I didn’t remember, and slowly began explaining how I burned my myself, started to have a panic attack, and collapsed on to the tile floor, hitting my head. I had been unconscious for two days and he never left my side.)

Me: *crying* “I love you, [Boyfriend].”

Boyfriend: “I love you, too, [My Name].”

(I stayed in the hospital for another two days, recovering. It’s been a year since then and the panic attacks are a rarity. We are still together and still happily in love. No, I have not scared him to such a degree since then.)

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Deliriously Charming

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(At my work, I often get mistaken for a few other women who apparently look quite similar to me. I’m quite used to this now, but my boyfriend finds it amusing. He is good at giving compliments, but always has to follow them up with a caveat, which is usually mildly insulting. He is off work ill and is messaging me on my way into work.)

Boyfriend: “Wish you were here.”

Me: “Me, too. Get some sleep and give me a shout whenever.”

Boyfriend: “Okay. Hope your day is good and that you aren’t mistaken for women who you are much hotter than.” *sends heart-eyed emoji*

Me: “Aww! See, knew you could be a charmer.”

Boyfriend: “Haha, maybe it’s my delirium… See, a real charmer wouldn’t have said that bit!” *smirks*

Me: “STOP RUINING IT!”