Turned It On Its Head

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are fooling around one morning and he’s laying with his head on my chest, it’s very heavy.)

Me: “Gosh, what is this!? Suffocation by head?”

(We pause and stare wide eyed at each other.)

Me: “Oh, my god! Did I just say that!”

Husband: *laughing* “Well, I suppose we could try that!”

Working One’s Buns Off

| AB, Canada | Fights/Breakups, Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I have a fight. He goes to bed; I stay up until around 3-4 am. He always wakes up earlier than me. He comes in the morning and wakes me up around 7 am.)

Me: “Why the h*** are you waking me up so early?”

Husband: “I’m sorry. I’m going to make cinnamon buns to apologize.”

Me: “Okay?”

Husband: “I don’t know how to make them. Can you come and help?”

Me: “… I hate you.”

(I ended up making the cinnamon buns on my own. The kicker? I don’t particularly like cinnamon buns, and he still brags about how he made them for me!)

Their Love Is Shiny

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Dating, Theme Of The Month

(My boyfriend and I are on the phone late at night for our good night call. We’re both really tired and I’m starting to drift asleep.)

Me: “You know how you make me feel, hon…?” *I pause and, in my head, think I’ve described a romantic setting. In fact, I have said nothing* “Fireflies.”

Boyfriend: “F-fireflies”? I make you feel like fireflies?”

Me: *jerking fully awake* “Oh, my god! I meant to say that speaking with you like this makes me feel like we’re lying on a grassy hill on a cool summer evening watching fireflies fly around above us!”

Boyfriend: “… So… fireflies?”

Me: *still laughing* “Yes, honey, fireflies.”

(We now call points of exhaustion at night when we’re really, super tired “Firefly Point”.)

The Outcome Was Shiny
Their Marriage Is Shiny

You’re His Dream Woman

| Chicago, IL, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

(It’s early morning, and my boyfriend and I are both dozing on his bed. I’m almost asleep when…)

Boyfriend: “You know, I love you.”

(It’s not something we tell each other very often, so when we do say it, we both know we mean it.)

Me: “Awww! I love you, too!”

(I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, until I notice his eyes aren’t actually open. I can’t help but ask.)

Me: “Um… are you awake right now?”

Boyfriend: “Nope!”

Even The Tardis Can’t Go There

| Mountain Home, AK, USA | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are at a restaurant eating soup, and I look up and happen to notice he’s staring down my shirt. I put my hand over my cleavage.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “I’m not doing anything!”

(He pointedly looks away and I go back to eating my soup. Not even five seconds later I look up and he’s just staring down my shirt again. I put my hand over my cleavage again.)

Me: “Not doing anything?”

Boyfriend: “… I’m… staring into all of space and time!”