Valar Morghulis

| Finland | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend is telling me about Game Of Thrones theories he’d been reading. He is currently talking about certain dwarf:)

Boyfriend: “…so [Wrong character name] is supposed to do this in the future shows.”

Me: “Who is [Wrong character name]?”

Boyfriend: “The little guy!”

Me: “You mean Tyrion?”

Boyfriend: “[Wrong character name], Tyrion, all the same… Then who or where is [Wrong character name]?”

Me: “Dunno. Probably dead”

Boyfriend: *starts laughing* “That pretty much sums the show up.”


Grudge Match

| Cambridge, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I are in the car on the way to his house.)

Boyfriend: *starts making scratchy throat noises, like the ones in ‘The Grudge’*

Me: “Are you making Grudge noises?”

Boyfriend: *nods and continues doing it*

Me: “Well, you’re doing it wrong. They’re lower-pitched, like this.”  *also begins making Grudge noises*

(We both sit there for a few more seconds making Grudge noises.)

Me: “Well, that just happened.”

Boyfriend: “Of course it did. Are you really surprised?”

Me: “Nope. This is what real relationships look like.”

Boyfriend: “Of course it is, darling, because everyone knows that couples hold grudges!”

Me: “Oooooh, that pun! It burns!”


This Is Why We Can’t Have Snice Things

| Lewisville, TX, USA | Engaged, Popular, Punny

(My fiancé is cooking sausages for dinner, which we had jokingly been calling “snausages.” I walk through the kitchen and make an observation.)

Me: “The snausages are snizzling.”


Fiancé: “The snausages are snready.”

Me: “See, this is why I’m in charge of puns and dumb wordplay around here.”

Fiancé: “Why?”

Me: “Because the snausages are snerved.”

Fiancé: “…”

Me: “You love me.”