icon_puns

A De-Lecter-bly Bad Joke

| Austria | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular, Punny

(A friend introduces her new boyfriend:)

Boyfriend: “My name is Hannibal.”

Friend: “He likes me for my brain, not just my beauty.”

icon_boyfriendsgirlfriends

Video Is Still Trying To Kill The Radio

| San Jose, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I live very close to a drive-in movie theater and enjoy taking advantage of this fact. In the recent warm weather we have been taking his truck instead of my car and sitting in the bed. The first time we did, we borrowed his mom’s new portable stereo as the theater sends audio out through radio channels, only to discover that its radio reception is dismal. The next time we take his extremely beat-up old boombox from the ‘90s, which gets us a much clearer signal.)

Boyfriend: “This thing is great! It’s covered in paint and I’ve dropped it a bunch of times, but it still works!”

Me: “Yours has survived an awful lot. And hers was only a year old and it was super staticky.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, they don’t make ’em like they used to. This thing just keeps working. I mean… sure, the CD player part is broken. And the power input doesn’t work, but it’s okay because there’s no plug here either and it runs off batteries. And I’m not sure if the cassette player works, because who has cassettes anymore?”

Me: “…and it’s held together with duct tape.”

Boyfriend: “Yes, that too. But still! You can get good radio reception on battery power, even if everything else is broken! They just don’t make ’em like they used to.”

icon_boyfriendsgirlfriends

No Need To Be Macho With A Nacho

| San Jose, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I both work in the automotive industry: my background is as a technician but I now work as a service advisor, and he has worked as a contractor for a major automotive tool manufacturer since graduating college. He is about to turn 26 so we have been trying to figure out the best way to keep him in health insurance, but the issue is resolved when he is offered a full-time position with his company. It comes with benefits as well as a not-unwelcome pay bump. We’re fairly financially comfortable, but who minds a bigger income?)

Boyfriend: “It will be nice not having to figure out insurance plan options. Plus the money doesn’t exactly hurt either.”

Me: “I’m very proud of you. And I’m sure we can find things to buy with your bigger paychecks. Like… like…”

(There’s a long pause while I try to think of something and he waits to see what I come up with.)

Me: “Uhm… nachos!”

Boyfriend: *laughs* “Seriously?”

Me: “What? We LIKE nachos!”

Boyfriend: “We’re so romantic. Most girlfriends would want jewelry or something when their boyfriend gets a raise. But nope: nachos.”

(A couple hours later we’re both nodding off in bed when I suddenly remember another benefit that comes with full-time positions as his company: a healthy discount on their products. I reach over and pat him on the butt repeatedly to get his attention.)

Boyfriend: *groggily* “Hmm?”

Me: “TOOL DISCOUNT.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah?”

Me: “CROW’S-FOOT SOCKETS! We can buy crow’s-foot sockets AND nachos!”

Boyfriend: “I love you.”