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Putting The Bothered Into ‘Hot And Bothered’

| Dating, Popular

(My girlfriend has invited me over for dinner and offered to cook her amazingly delicious extra-hot curry. When I come in, she’s already started.)

Me: “Ah, you’re really beautiful.” *kisses her*

Girlfriend: “Aw, sweetie.” *kisses me back*

(We start to get pretty into it… until I start guiding her hand down my pants.)

Girlfriend: “STOP!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Girlfriend: “I’ve just been chopping serrano peppers.”

Me: “…Let’s finish cooking before we get frisky.”

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Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 63

| USA | Marriage & Partners, Zombies

(My partner and I are in a long-distance relationship, and are chatting over text.)

Me: “What would you do if I was bitten by a zombie?”

Partner: “Feed you my enemies’ brains.”

Me: “Okay, then…”

Partner: *starts petting me* “My pet zombie…”

Related:
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 62
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 61
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 60

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Lovedibs

| CT, USA | Dating

(We’re driving home from getting food and discussing that we recently started saying “I love you.”)

Boyfriend: “We still haven’t said it over text message, though…”

Me: “Dibs.”

Boyfriend: “…”

Me: “Can I call dibs on that? Yeah, I’m calling dibs on that.”