My husband and I have a daughter who is almost three, and I’m about six months pregnant with our son. On a frigid, snow-bound January day, my husband’s parents are getting ready to leave for a week-long trip. Because of the weather, my husband, who will be going over each day to check in at the house, asks if they can just make sure to feed their two cats and the chickens early so that he doesn’t have to make the trek while the weather is still treacherous. They agree, but after they get to the airport, my mother-in-law calls.

Mother-In-Law: “The chickens are fine, and so is [Cat #1], but [Cat #2] got out. Can you please go over when you get the chance and make sure he gets inside for the night?”

[Husband] says sure, he’ll wait a few hours and go then so that the plows have a chance to come by.

When he gets there, [Cat #2] is waiting by the door to be let in — and then promptly darts back outside after eating his dinner. [Husband] tries to go after him, and he slips on some ice. Thankfully, he doesn’t hit his head, but he does land hard on his butt, and he gets a sore wrist. After waiting a bit to see if [Cat #2] will come straight back, he returns home and catches me up on what happened.

Husband: “I figure I’ll wait until after [Daughter] goes to bed, and then I’ll head back and try one more time to get [Cat #2] inside for the night.”

Me: “Do you want me to go instead?”

Husband: “No, it’s still so slick and cold out there. I’d be worried about you and/or [Son] getting injured.”

[Daughter] goes to bed around 8:30 pm, and at 9:30 pm, [Husband] braves the frigid night one more time. Around 10:00 pm, my phone rings.

Husband: “Honey, [Cat #2] is inside and safe, but I managed to lock myself out, and my car keys are on the kitchen table inside. Can you come get me?”

Me: “Oh, s***. Okay, I guess I’ll wake [Daughter] up and bundle her into the car with me… WAIT! Can you call [Neighbor] and see if he can come over?”

Thankfully, [Neighbor] answers his phone and says he’ll come right by so that [Daughter] isn’t alone in the house. When he gets there, I express my thanks and get to my car as quickly as I can without slipping.

When I get to my in-laws’ house, [Husband] uses my spare to get back into the house and get his main key fob, we double-check that the cats are accounted for, and then we head home. After thanking [Neighbor] for his time, I see that it’s basically 11:00 pm and look at [Husband].

Me: “Can that please be the last adventure for the night?”

He agreed — but I was barely surprised when he came down with a sore throat and headache the next day.

CONTENT WARNING: Blood

My husband and I went on daily walks while working from home during the [global health crisis]. I was pregnant at the time, so it was especially important to get some movement in.

I started getting a lot of nosebleeds during the winter, which my obstetrician assured me was normal during pregnancy. We were out for an afternoon walk when my nose suddenly started to bleed. We’re talking out of nowhere, a flood of blood like the elevator doors opening in “The Shining”.

We were about a block from home at that point, but I didn’t have tissues or anything on hand to stop the absolute torrent of blood.

My husband ran home while I leaned over a fence. I was heavily dripping blood, but standing that way meant it dripped on the ground instead of pouring down my face or clothes.

He ran back a few minutes later with tissues to help staunch the blood long enough for me to get home.

Husband: “I hope none of the neighbors saw that! You’re doubled over bleeding from the nose as I run away from my pregnant wife!”

When I was in college, I went on a date with a guy that didn’t go well. I told him I wasn’t interested in seeing him again, deleted his number, and moved on.

About six months later, I got a random text.

Bad Date: “Hey! How’s it going?”

Me: “Fine, but uh, who is this?”

Bad Date: “Oh, haha, it’s [Bad Date].”

Admittedly, I should have just stopped responding, but I was bored at work (I worked at an arcade in a mall and it was a dead time), and part of me was curious about what made him start texting me again out of the blue.

Me: “Oh. Uh, how are you?”

Bad Date: “Good. Listen, I’m wondering if I can ask you a favor?”

Me: “Um, no.”

Bad Date: “So, the thing is, my mom’s in the hospital, and my truck’s out of gas. And they’re saying they don’t think she’ll make it through the night, so I really want to go to see her.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s really unfortunate, but no. I’m at work. Can you take a cab?”

Bad Date: “Oh, I have no money. Come on. Can’t you help me out?”

Me: “I’m at work, so no. What about your cousin? Or a neighbor?”

Bad Date: “Cousin’s out of town and none of my neighbors are available. Please help me out?”

Me: “I didn’t even drive tonight, so no. And also, I’m at work.”

Bad Date: “Well, what if I get a ride to you? Can you give me a ride to the hospital then?”

Me: “Still no because I’m still at work. If you can get to me, then you should be able to get to the hospital.”

Bad Date: “Well, I was going to walk to you.”

Me: “Then walk to the hospital. I’m at work.”

Bad Date: “Oh, come on. I really want to see my mom. Can’t you help me out?”

I did stop responding then because I had a customer come up and need assistance. I also blocked his number as soon as I had a second.

Ten years later, I’m pretty sure he had other plans in mind, but why he’d use a sick mom to get me to him, I’ll never understand. Plus, with the way he was shooting down all my other options, he had to realize that I wouldn’t believe him, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

I did have a little laugh a few months later when he walked in with his cousin and a few friends. He saw me and immediately left the arcade. I pretended I hadn’t seen him because I was actually busy at the time, but I really wanted to ask him how his mom was.

I give you three instances of my ex that I have since dubbed “The Snap™”, where she could go from 0 to 1000 in an instant.

Example #1:

I’m cooking her dinner.

Me: “Hey, babe, do you want a boiled egg with your curry?”

Ex: *Extremely snappy out of nowhere* “I don’t know. Do you want to be single?”

Me: “…That would be a no, then?”

Ex: “Duh! Boiled eggs are f****** gross! If you like boiled eggs, you’re a psychopath. Why would you even ask me if I want an egg with my curry of all things?”

Me: “Because I like an egg with my curry sometimes. I guess I’m a psycho, then.”

Somehow, she is back to perfectly pleasant after that.

Example #2:

Again, a dinner incident. I planned to make pancakes, but we’re out of jam for topping, so we pop to the store.

Ex: “What flavour jam were you craving?”

Me: “Dunno… I’m a bit fed up with forest fruit, as I always have that.”

Ex: “How about strawberry?” 

Me: “Not really, either. I think I want—”

Cue The Snap™.

Ex: “OH, MY GOD! Forget about the whole f****** d*** jam, then, why don’t you?!”

Me: “—blackcurrant. Uh… is there a problem?”

Ex: *Suddenly sugary sweet again* “No… why?”

Me: “We can get strawberry if you really prefer that.”

Ex: *Still smiling innocently* “No, blackcurrant is fine.” 

These kinds of instances pop up here and there, and when I ask her about it, she first ignores it, but after a while, she confesses that she is going through a burnout and she’s just tired and depressed, and that’s why she’s snappy. We haven’t been dating for three months, and we’re not at an “unconditional love and support” level by a long shot, especially not with the way she has been snapping at me, but I try my best by her. She says she understands that I need some more love and attention than she is giving me, and she urges me to speak up about it when I need it.

So, we come to the scene of the last Snap™.

We’re at her place, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. I open my arms to invite a snuggle, but she claims she is “too tired to even lean across”.

But not two seconds later, she gets up to pluck her cat from the other end of the room and give it a very grand display of hugs and kisses.

Trying to be playful and not too “Hello, I’d like some attention” and on-the-nose with my needs, I say:

Me: “Wow, [Cat] gets so many kisses today! You happen to have one to spare for me?”

Ex: *Snappy thundercloud out of nowhere* “I don’t know. Check under the couch for one for all I care.” 

I broke up with her the week after that, and somehow she was all “Surprised Pikachu Face” about it, even after all this.

It was a sold-out weekend at our hotel because of a major corporate convention. Guests were coming in from all over the country. The rooms were assigned by the housing bureau and paid for by their employer. It had been a crazy night with people finding out they had roommates, a non-smoker being assigned a smoking room, and two hated competitors being assigned to the same room (intentionally done by their boss, with notes not to move them).

One of our last arrivals for this group was a man named Robin. Immediately after Robin checked in, he returned to the desk with a young lady in tow.

Robin: “There must be a mistake; I’m in a room with a woman I don’t know.”

Lady: “I’m sure he is a nice guy, but staying in a room with a strange man…”

Me: “I apologize, but we didn’t assign the rooms; they were assigned by the housing bureau.”

Robin: “Could I pay for my own room?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re sold out.”

There was a hotel on the other side of downtown that had rooms — but of course, all the convention meetings were at our hotel. I did point out that if they could find someone in a single room to switch with, I would be more than happy to reassign the rooms. They retired to the bar to figure things out.

I later saw them together at the convention’s social hour. They approached me and said they would make it work, and they asked if I could send up a pair of robes.

A year later, I’d forgotten all about Robin and his roommate when I received a call to come to the desk. There at the desk were Robin and his roommate, both with wide smiles on their faces. She was holding her hand up in that way all new brides do to show off their rings.

That weekend a year before was the start of their whirlwind relationship. They had just gotten married and decided to spend their honeymoon in the city where they’d met. I helped them plan their sightseeing activities and made restaurant suggestions.

They returned for the next two years that I was at that property. The last I heard, they had a child on the way and had relocated to our area.