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Cheated Out Of Irony

| USA | Infidelity, Popular

(I’m on the bus and I overhear this conversation.)

Woman #1: “I feel like my boyfriend is cheating on me!”

Woman #2: “Which one?”

The Book Of Gorgon

| London, England, UK | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are on the bus discussing the things we’ve learned off each other.)

Boyfriend: “I think the thing I’ve learned from you most is mythology.”

Me: “Yeah, you never would’ve known Medusa was an individual and not a race.”

Boyfriend: “What was the race she was again?”

Me: “A gorgon.”

Boyfriend: “I thought it was Mormon for some reason.”

Me: “Well, people certainly freeze when you realise one has come to your door.”

Crush The Celebrity Crush

| TX, USA | Dating

(I am female. My boyfriend and I are both attracted to boys and girls. We both know this, and have discussed celebrity crushes before. We’re talking on the bus with our friend.)

Boyfriend: “How attractive do you think Lindsey Stirling is?”

Me: “She’s okay.”

Friend: *laughs* “You’re jealous aren’t you?”

Me: “No, she just isn’t my type.”

Friend: “You have a type?”

Me: *thinks a moment* “I really like Felicia Day.”

(I pull up a picture of her on my phone and show it to them. My boyfriend makes a pouty face.)

Friend: “Are you jealous?”

Boyfriend: “She’s prettier than me.”

Me: *laughs* “You’re prettier than she is. I promise.”

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A Sign They Should Start Dating

| Leeds, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met, Hall of Fame, Top

(Every evening after work, I get the same bus home. I usually see the same young lady at the stop, and will share a smile and a nod as a greeting. As I’m fairly introverted, I rarely talk to people on the way home; I just listen to music on my wireless earbuds, which are hidden by my hair. One day, instead of the usual greeting, the young lady catches my eye and starts signing something at me. I reach up to pull out my earbuds.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t read sign langu—”

Young Lady: *turning bright red* “Oh, my god! You’re not deaf! I’m such an idiot! I thought you were deaf because you never respond when I talk to you. So, I tried to learn some sign language so I could talk to you.”

(The young lady tails off to a mumble, getting redder and redder. I burst out laughing.)

Me: “Wow. I never thought I was worth learning sign language to talk to!”

Young Lady: “I’m so sorry. How can I possibly make it up to you?”

Me: “Well, you can accompany me for a drink for starters. I’d love to learn more about a girl who learned sign language for a boy who can’t read it!”

(After that encounter it wasn’t long before we started dating. Now she turns bright red as soon as anyone asks how we met!)

Don’t Let The Hipsters Hear You

| Canada | Dating

(My girlfriend and I are sitting on the bus, going to university. I’ve had to switch from my normal backpack to a leather shoulder bag because of a shoulder injury.)

Me: “So [Friend] said that this bag looks so hipster it hurts, but the practical strap makes it better.”

Girlfriend: “Honey, almost everything you have is hipster, but you wear it for different reasons.”

Me: “But I’ve always had stuff like this, mostly for practical purposes.”

Girlfriend: “Yup.”

Me: “Does that mean I was a hipster before it was cool?”

Girlfriend: “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

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