Has No Drive For A Relationship

| CA, USA | Dating, Popular

(We have just agreed to start dating and he is taking me back to my car at the end of the night. In a nearly empty parking lot, he pulls into the spot right next to my car.)

Me: “If you hit my car, I’m breaking up with you.”

Him: “Wow, that was fast.”


Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 15

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are sitting in the car after spending the day together for our nine-month anniversary. He’s never really been afraid to fart in front of me, because he knows that I don’t care if he does unless I can smell it.)

Me: “That was charming….”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: “I can smell that.”

Boyfriend: “But why are farts gross? They’re really just butt sneezes! They should be blessed, like regular sneezes!”

Me: “Wait… What did you just say?”

Boyfriend: “They’re butt sneezes! Think about it! People should say bless you when you fart!”

Me: “That’s going on the Internet.”

Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 14
Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 13
Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12


A Sign Of A Healthy Relationship

| Cambridge, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Fights/Breakups, Popular

(My boyfriend is driving me home after a date and accidentally misses a stop sign, which brings on this exchange.)

Boyfriend: “Whoops… missed a stop sign. Well, there are no cops around, and I’m sure you’ll forgive me.”

Me: *deadpan* “Nope, sorry. I mean, I love you and all, but you missed that stop sign. That was the very boundary securing our relationship. We’re so over.”

Boyfriend: *over-dramatically fake sobbing* “I’VE RUINED EVERYTHING OVER A STOP SIGN! I SHOULD’VE KNOWN!”

Me: *can’t keep from laughing* “You’re such a ham! I’m sorry, babe. I love your fake sobbing; it’s so over the top!”

Boyfriend: “Of course it is! That’s the point! You start out small, and then grow in intensity until…” *starts wailing overdramatically again*

Me: *wailing along with him, until we both can’t keep from breaking down laughing*

Boyfriend: “So that just happened…”

Me: “Yup. We really are lame.”

Boyfriend: “Indeed we are, my dear. And I wouldn’t have us any other way.”

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