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Giving Her An Ounce Of Encouragement

, | Grand Haven, MI, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(I recently bought a new car that comes with a Bluetooth connection. I use it to call my boyfriend on my way home from work every night. We’ve had our conversation and are saying good night.)

Me: “I love you.”

Boyfriend: “I love you, too.”

Me: “I love you more.”

Boyfriend: *pause* “I love you an ounce less than you love me, because I know how much you like to win.”

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Stripping The Relationship Down To The Essentials

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are in the car when we pass a sign advertising a lacquer-stripping company that calls themselves “The Strippers.”)

Boyfriend: “Did you see that sign?! There’s actually a company called ‘The Strippers’!”

Me: “Really? That’d be a fun conversation to have without context. ‘Honey, I hired The Strippers to come by tomorrow.’”

Boyfriend: “What?! I thought you loved me!”

Me: “The Strippers are for both of us! We need The Strippers to start our life together!”

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Has No Drive For A Relationship

| CA, USA | Dating, Popular

(We have just agreed to start dating and he is taking me back to my car at the end of the night. In a nearly empty parking lot, he pulls into the spot right next to my car.)

Me: “If you hit my car, I’m breaking up with you.”

Him: “Wow, that was fast.”

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