The Circle Of Strife

| TX, USA | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(My husband and I are listening to a news talk radio station while we are on the road. A story about Chikungunya comes on, discussing how it gets spread by mosquitoes. Without any kind of sign or warning my husband starts chanting, to the tune of the opening song on The Lion King, ‘Circle of Life.’)

Husband: “Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya. Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya…”

Me: *singing over him* “From the time you first swatted that skeeter, you feel anxiety of the unknown — West Nile, could it be? Why did it have to bite me? What’s this rash all over my bo-dy? Ooooh Chiiiiiiikun-gunyaaaaaa — Our vacation is ru-i-n-ed…”

Husband: *now drumming on the steering wheel* “Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya, Chik-un-gunya, Chik-un-chikun-gunya…”

Me: “Iii-ieeeeeeeeeeee….eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” *to sound like mosquito buzzing*

(We then both stopped singing, didn’t mention it, and went on with our drive.)

Well-Rounded Fear

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Dating, Popular

(It should be noted I am a small female. I am always trying to convince my boyfriend that I am fearsome and intimidating… But I am also a huge wimp when it comes to the cold.)

Me: “Name one thing that isn’t fearsome about me.”

Boyfriend: “It’d just be easier to name things that are.”

Me: “Easy. My fists of steel and my soul of night.”

Boyfriend: “Your fists of steel that are currently wearing owl mittens?”

Me: “…Fists of steel get cold, too!”

Boyfriend: “And your soul of night that likes kittens and coloring?”

Me: “…Well, who doesn’t?!”

Another Benefit To Their Arrangement

| Germany | Friends With Benefits

(After spending an afternoon with a friend, he’s driving me home. We start joking around and I say something playful, but mean. Note: We sometimes have a friends-with-benefits thing.)

Him: “Go f*** yourself!”

Me: “Nah. That’s your job.”

Him: “…Touché.”

Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 55

| Denver, CO, USA | Marriage & Partners

(My wife and I are driving home one day when my wife asks me the zombie question.)

Wife: “What would you do if I got bitten by a zombie?

Me: “Gunshot to the head.”

Wife: *sad voice and puppy dog eyes* “You wouldn’t even miss me?”

Me: “God, I hope not. Double tap.”

Related:

Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 54
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 53
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 52

Lapping Up The Lack Of Humor

| Ireland | Marriage & Partners

(My husband is usually pretty reluctant to spend any longer than necessary when we go shopping. I often joke that we have to keep driving if a good song comes on the radio when we’re nearly at our destination, which he rarely takes seriously. Recently we were driving to the supermarket, but shortly before we got there one of my favourite songs starts.)

Me: “We’re doing laps of the carpark!”

Husband: “What? Why?”

(I turned up the radio. A few seconds later he drove straight past our turn.)

Me: “…Are we not going to [Supermarket]?”

Husband: “We are…”

Me: *realising what was happening* “I was just joking about the laps…”

Husband: “Meh.”

(We drove around and came back to the supermarket by another road.)

Husband: “That’s a few laps of the carpark, anyway… ”

(We even sat in the car until it ended.)

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