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Has No Drive For A Relationship

| CA, USA | Dating, Popular

(We have just agreed to start dating and he is taking me back to my car at the end of the night. In a nearly empty parking lot, he pulls into the spot right next to my car.)

Me: “If you hit my car, I’m breaking up with you.”

Him: “Wow, that was fast.”

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Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 15

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Popular

(My boyfriend and I are sitting in the car after spending the day together for our nine-month anniversary. He’s never really been afraid to fart in front of me, because he knows that I don’t care if he does unless I can smell it.)

Me: “That was charming….”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: “I can smell that.”

Boyfriend: “But why are farts gross? They’re really just butt sneezes! They should be blessed, like regular sneezes!”

Me: “Wait… What did you just say?”

Boyfriend: “They’re butt sneezes! Think about it! People should say bless you when you fart!”

Me: “That’s going on the Internet.”

Related:
Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 14
Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 13
Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12

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A Sign Of A Healthy Relationship

| Cambridge, ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Fights/Breakups, Popular

(My boyfriend is driving me home after a date and accidentally misses a stop sign, which brings on this exchange.)

Boyfriend: “Whoops… missed a stop sign. Well, there are no cops around, and I’m sure you’ll forgive me.”

Me: *deadpan* “Nope, sorry. I mean, I love you and all, but you missed that stop sign. That was the very boundary securing our relationship. We’re so over.”

Boyfriend: *over-dramatically fake sobbing* “I’VE RUINED EVERYTHING OVER A STOP SIGN! I SHOULD’VE KNOWN!”

Me: *can’t keep from laughing* “You’re such a ham! I’m sorry, babe. I love your fake sobbing; it’s so over the top!”

Boyfriend: “Of course it is! That’s the point! You start out small, and then grow in intensity until…” *starts wailing overdramatically again*

Me: *wailing along with him, until we both can’t keep from breaking down laughing*

Boyfriend: “So that just happened…”

Me: “Yup. We really are lame.”

Boyfriend: “Indeed we are, my dear. And I wouldn’t have us any other way.”

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