Putting Some Peppy In His Step

| MT, USA | Marriage & Partners

(We live in a rural town and are making the hour drive to the city for some errands. My husband has trouble staying awake in the car and is dozing. I get stuck behind another driver that is fluctuating between going five to fifteen miles per hour BELOW the speed limit. We enter a portion of the highway that has a passing lane, and I speed up to get by the other driver. They also speed up to keep me from passing them, and they are finally going 5 over the speed limit.)

Me: *under my breath* “Oh, f*** this. I’m not getting stuck behind this guy any longer!”

(I speed up, ultimately going 20 over the speed limit, and manage to pass the other driver with just enough time to merge.)

Husband: *looking bleary-eyed and a bit awe-struck* “You used boost to get through!” *falls asleep again*

She’s Just Dialing It In

| Chandler, AZ, USA | Dating

(‘Payphone’ by ‘Maroon 5’ has just recently come out on the radio. I decide to be cute, and text my boyfriend some lyrics.)

Me: “I’m at a payphone, trying to phone home. All of my change, I spent on you!”

Boyfriend: “Why are you at a payphone? You just texted me on your cell phone.”