Not Seeing Eye-To-Eye Here

| TX, USA | Harassment

(My soccer team’s manager is a junior who’s been indiscriminately pursuing any girl on the team who happens to be white, without success. Most of the players, as well as the manager himself, are Hispanic, which is why it stands out. I’ve heard about him from the others, but we’ve barely ever spoken and it doesn’t occur to me that I, a lowly freshman, would be on his radar. I’m also admittedly a little oblivious.)

Manager: “[My Name], how are you?”

Me: “Pretty good. You need help with the equipment?”

Manager: “You know, I love your eyes.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

Manager: “They’re beautiful, the way they shine. Like diamonds in the sky.”

Me: “That’s…nice…? So, the cones? Or I could push the ball cart.”

Manager: “I mean it.” *leaning in and staring intently* “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

(Seriously confused at this point, I just look at him like he’s insane.)

Me: “Dude… they’re eyes. They’re not that interesting. You want help with the stuff or not?”

Manager: “Yeah… okay. Thanks.”

(It took me a few days to realize what he’d been getting at. He never did get any of the girls to go out with him.)


A New Way To Face Your Crush

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Crush

(I am sitting with my friends at lunch, as well as with my sister and her friends. Right next to me is my crush. The fact that I have a crush is well-known, as well as that they aren’t interested. Also, because we don’t have enough chairs to seat everyone, some people are sharing chairs, and people have been stealing each others’ chairs. My crush gets up to get more food.)

Crush: “Okay, if anyone else is sitting in my chair when I get back, I’m just going to sit on you.”

(They leave, the second they are out of sight, I, my sister, and my friend all leap for their chair. My sister gets there first, so I just sit on her. She then pushes me back into my own chair, so I put my head in her lap, on my crush’s chair.)

Sister: “If you do that, [Crush] is going to sit on your face!”

Me: “…”

Sister: *quietly* “Actually, you’d probably like that, wouldn’t you?”

Hater Dater

| GA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Fights/Breakups

(I’m half-black. I’d lived in the south for a good portion of my life but I’d never experienced any sort of racism. I’ve just started dating this guy who would not usually be my type. He’s your stereotypical good ol’ country boy: camo, heavy boots, big truck, loves hunting. One day we’re at lunch, just talking, when this exchange happens.)

Me: “You know, you’re not my usual type but you’re cute so I thought, what the heck? Why not?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, you’re not my usual type either. In fact, I could probably never bring a n***** like you home to my parents.”

(I broke up with him at that word and he seemed absolutely shocked and had no idea why I did.)

Ex-treme Betting

| Reading, MA, USA | Advice, Exes/Old Flames

(At Junior Prom my ex-boyfriend and I finally manage to get over the awkwardness of our breakup and spend the whole time hanging out and dancing together, returning to our original friendship. The next day, my best friend comes up to me.)

Best Friend: “Just wanted to let you know, I won the bet.”

Me: “What bet?”

Best Friend: “Last night, [Friend #1] bet that you and [Ex] would get back together, while [Friend #2] said you wouldn’t.

Me: “Well, then I guess [Friend #2] won.”

Best Friend: “Nope, because I bet that [Ex] would want to get back together, but you wouldn’t, and he would know that and not bring it up because he still wanted to be friends and wouldn’t want to make things awkward, and you’d be oblivious to the fact the whole night.”

Me: “That is way too accurate. Stop that.”

(She was right, but thankfully my ex understood my decision to stay single and we remained friends, and he was even my platonic date to our Senior Prom. It’s nice to have a best friend who notices things you don’t.)

Teas Of The Stoneage

| KY, USA | Dating, Popular

(It is during a football game and, both being in the marching band, my girlfriend and I are attending. We are standing around talking during a break. As it is November, it is around 45 degrees outside. I am a huge fan of metal and hard rock, while she is not.)

Me: “D***, it’s so cold tonight. I’m going to make a huge cup of hot tea when I get home.”

Girlfriend: “You drink tea?”

Me: “Why is that so much of a surprise to you?”

Girlfriend: “Because you were just sitting in the stands listening to Slipknot and Hollywood Undead. You really don’t seem like you’d like tea.”

Me: “What difference does it make if I’m a metalhead or not?”

Girlfriend: “It doesn’t. I just assumed you hated tea.”

(Several minutes pass.)

Girlfriend: “What else do you do that I’m not aware of?”

Me: “That’s really it. I like tea. Tea is life.”

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