On The Coat-Tails Of A Gift

| NY, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I are hanging out in the lounge where both of our desks are. He has been doing something in the kitchen. He comes back into the lounge.)

Boyfriend: “Could you get me a beer?”

Me: *slightly irritated* “You were just in the kitchen, and you’re closer than I am. Do you really need me to get it?”

Boyfriend: “Please? I’m busy with something.”

(I’m annoyed, but I walk into the kitchen and notice there is a coat hanging on the fridge handle. I figure he’s hung his coat on there for some reason, so I take the coat off the fridge, pull out a beer, hang the coat back up, and go back to him.)

Boyfriend: *incredulous look* “Love, are you serious…? Could you get me another beer, please?”

Me: *now irritated and confused* “Why?!”

Boyfriend: “Or something else. Anything from the fridge. Please.”

(Frustrated, I go to the fridge, figuring maybe he needs an item in it to trace something on a paper for his origami or something random. I move the coat again, take out an item, hang the coat back up, and give the item to him.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, come here!”

(He goes into the kitchen, and I follow.)

Boyfriend: “Look at the coat!”

(I look at it, and I realize it is a brand new coat, one that I’ve wanted for myself for a while but couldn’t afford. I immediately start laughing so hard that I’m crying, thanking him profusely.)

Boyfriend: “How on earth did you not catch on?”

Me: “I don’t knooooow!”

(Not one of my finer moments, admittedly, but the coat is lovely, and he is the sweetest, even when I’m completely clueless!)


Not Quite Your Flavor Of The Month

| VA, USA | Marriage & Partners

Husband: *reading ingredient list on a bottle of mustard* “So they have to list spices separately that people could be allergic to. That’s why paprika is listed, but then it just says spices farther down.”

Me: “I don’t really care for paprika; it just doesn’t have any flavor to me.”

Husband: *sits and thinks about paprika for a moment* “I suppose there must be a difference between the scented paprika and the stuff people eat.”

Me: *I sit there for a moment trying to figure out what he just said* “Scented paprika?”

Husband: *completely serious* “You know, that mixture of woody chunks that smell strongly that people put out in little dishes?”

Me: “Oh, honey! That’s pronounced potpourri!”


I Love You To Deep Space (Nine) And Back

| Nottingham, England, UK | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I have been together just over three months at this point, but due to various circumstances he’s basically living with me. He’s much more ‘nerdy’ than me, but he introduced me to Star Trek and I love it. It’s Saturday night, and we’re in the living room, sitting quietly together; I’m doing uni work and he’s playing an online game.)

Me: “I love this. That we can sit together in quiet and enjoy ourselves together.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah. We don’t always have to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, I guess.”

Me: “Of course not. This is just as awesome.”

Boyfriend: “I guess it bodes well for the relationship, because we don’t have to worry about what to do after we watch the last season for a while yet.”

Me: “And of course, there’s always Deep Space Nine.”

(Deep Space Nine is a spin-off show. He looked extremely proud.)


Learning A Haole New Word

| ON, Canada | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I have been watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and there is a scene where a character names the state fish of Hawaii. My boyfriend cannot seem to pronounce it, so I am trying to teach him.)

Me: “Humu… humu… nuku… nuku…”

Boyfriend: “What was wrong with ‘trout’?”


Conceiving A Decent Excuse

| Finland | Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are trying to conceive. This morning, my waking temperature indicates that I am likely to be ovulating. We are both in the mood, so we decide to take advantage of the opportunity immediately. Afterwards, we head to work later than usual.)

Me: “If anybody complains, we can tell them we had an urgent family situation.”

Husband: “…”

Me: “We were trying to add more family members.”

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