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Walked Into That One

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend is talking about how he always reads instructions.)

Boyfriend: “I even ask for directions!”

Me: “Yes, but you are useless at giving directions.”

Boyfriend: “No, I’m not!”

Me: “Yes, you are. You once told me to drive the wrong way up a one way street and, when I said I couldn’t, you said you walked up it all the time.”

Boyfriend: “…”

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Covered All The Discussion Points

| USA | Marriage & Partners

Wife: *coughs*

Me: *farts*

Wife: *coughs again*

Me: *farts again*

(Pause.)

Me: “I’m glad we had this talk.”

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Knows Wok He’s Talking About

| Austria | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I are talking about how we were both single for many years before we met each other.)

Boyfriend: “I didn’t really believe this would ever happen again, meeting someone like you. My friends always used to say, ‘Every pot will find his lid.’” *a German proverb* “I always answered, ‘I’m a wok.'”

A Different Kind Of Recreational Use

| USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I are long distance while we’re both attending college. This happens one night over text.)

Boyfriend: “I may be slightly aroused. Do you want to encourage it for me? :P”

Me: “How should I go about doing that?”

Boyfriend: “Surprise me.”

Me: “Honey, I love you, but I just spent most of my afternoon and evening reading and writing about prescription opiates and the behavior of pharmaceutical companies, doctors, patients, addicts, and recreational users. I need a little bit of prompt to get into the right frame of mind.”

Boyfriend: “Okay…”

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Your Own Fault For Thinking You Could Compete With Glittery Dinosaurs

| Sweden | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(It’s morning. We are eating breakfast in the same room, but on our respective phones and as such only half paying attention to each other.)

Boyfriend: “I love you!”

Me: *reading something* “Oh, that’s cool.”

Boyfriend:*glances at me, starts snickering*

Me: “I mean, it is cool that you love me! But also, they discovered a dinosaur with glittery feathers!”

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