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Will Have Something To Say In The Comments About This

| USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My (now ex) girlfriend and I were long distance. This conversation happens after she hasn’t replied to me after a while.)

Me: “You there?”

Girlfriend: “Ya, sorry. I was watching YouTube.”

Me: “Why won’t you just talk to me then?”

Girlfriend: “Youtuubbbbeee.”

Me: “Are you cheating on me with YouTube?”

Girlfriend: “It’s not you; it’s me.”

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With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 21

| Santa Monica, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Me: “You make me happy.”

Boyfriend: “You make me bacon. Which is basically the same thing.”

Related:

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 20
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 19
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 18

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Violent Pillow Talk

| FL, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend had heart surgery as baby, due to being born with two holes in his heart. Because of the surgery he has to live with a wire holding his sternum together. Should it break, he could die if not rushed to the hospital and into surgery right away. I constantly fear the wire will snap; due to this I have constant nightmares. After a really bad one, I seek comfort in my boyfriend’s arms as I listen to heart beating.)

Me: “I dreamed you died. And you blamed me. A big dog jumped on your chest like it was trampoline. I was stammering over the phone and since the operator couldn’t understand she hung up telling me to sleep it off. She thought I was drunk.”

Boyfriend: *joking to cheer me up* “What’s this b****’s name and address. I’ll jump into your head and go beat her up.”

(He proceeded to take a pillow and “beat it up” pretending it was the 911 operator from my nightmare. He did this for a good five minutes as I laughed and cried.)

Boyfriend: *looking me in the eyes* “It will never be your fault if I die.”

(Afterwards he had me snuggled up to his chest as he rubbed my back. I fell back to sleep almost instantly. To this day when I have a bad nightmare, he takes a pillow and beats it up like it’s the bad guy. The pillow has never been me, even when it should have been at times.)

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