Eh, Romance…

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Proposals

(My brother is walking through a shopping complex with the woman who has been his girlfriend since high school. They are now in their early 20s. They walk past a jewellry store and there is a sale with 50% off on rings.)

Brother: *turns to his girlfriend and says* “I suppose I should get you one of those, eh?”

(And that is the story of the least romantic proposal of anyone I’ve ever known.)


The Terrible Star Trek Twos

| Logan, UT, USA | Marriage & Partners

(We have a toddler whose middle name is Tiberius.)

Husband: “If we ever have another boy, we should name him James. Leonard James.”

Me: “That’s actually not too bad. I like the name.”

Husband: “And then if we have ANOTHER boy, we can name him Kirk.”

Me: “I don’t really like the name Kirk.”

Husband: “No, you don’t understand. We have to name him Kirk.”

Me: “Wait…”

Husband: “So then we could have James Tiberius Kirk! And then if I become an officer and get to the rank of captain in the army, we could be Captain James Tiberius Kirk!”


Hit You Back

| NY, USA | Flirting, Popular

(I’m working the cash register at a small shop. A small group of rowdy teens are outside making derogatory comments about women who walk by. Two girls around their age pass by.)

Boy #1: *whistles*

Boy #2: “Yo-oh.”

Boy #3: “I’d hit that”

Girl: *turns around and eyes him critically* “Well, I wouldn’t.”


Worthless Is Priceless

| KY, USA | Dating, Popular

(My boyfriend and I have had an exhausting day and are deciding on where to eat. We end up in front of a map of the mall and are perusing our choices. We are both also college students and are on a tight budget.)

Boyfriend: “There’s, like, [very expensive place only meant for special occasions], but…

Me: “You wouldn’t take me to [same place]?”

Boyfriend: “Babe, that’s like $50.”

Me: “You mean I’m not worth $50 to you?”

Boyfriend: “Of course you’re worth $50.”

Me: “I’m only worth $50?”

Boyfriend: *at this point is very flustered and keeps digging himself into a deeper hole* “No! You’re not worth anything!” *immediately realizes what he just said and assumes a look of horror while I’m cracking up*

Lack Of Flirt Hurt

| MN, USA | Dating

(I joined my roommate and her family over one of our college breaks. During the break, we go to pick up her boyfriend from where he works in a mall. We arrived twenty minutes early so decide to go in and watch him from a comfortable vantage point.)

Roommate: “He’s so cute and good at his job! Oh, look! He started to talk to a couple of good-looking girls! I hope he’s getting his flirt on!”

(Moment of silence.)

Roommate: “I am the complete opposite of a jealous girlfriend…”

(We both laughed, and she continued to fawn over him the rest of the time.)

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