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A Fruitful Marriage Doesn’t Have To Bear Fruit

| Ireland | Advice, Popular

(This is a conversation between me and a student doing work experience at my job. She’s 31 and a bit odd, to say the least!)

Student: “Do you have any kids?”

Me: “No.”

(She then goes on to ask about where I live.)

Student: “Do you live with your parents?”

Me: “No, I live with my husband.”

Student: “I thought you said you didn’t have any kids?”

Me: “I don’t.”

Student: “Then why did you get married?”

(Yes, she was serious.)

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Be Happy That Love Is Blind

| Birmingham, England, UK | Advice, Popular

Colleague: “I’m going on a date tonight!”

Me: “Nice! Good luck!”

Colleague: “He’s a friend of a friend. Never actually met him before.”

Me: “Blind?”

Colleague: *chuckles, sarcastically* “Very funny.”

Me: *realising what that sounded like* “No, no, no! I meant, ‘Is it a blind date?’ not, ‘Is he blind?’!”

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Divorced From Reality

| AB, Canada | Engaged, Infidelity, Popular

(I work at a registry office. We get a lot of phone calls for various services and we prefer if the client calls before they arrive unprepared. Some calls are better than others.)

Me: “Hi, this is [Company]. How can I help you?”

Client: “I need to know what I need to obtain a marriage license.”

Me: “Sure. First of all, both parties will need to be here in person with ID. In addition, if either of you have been married before, we require that you provide a copy of your divorce documents.”

Client: “Oh. Is there any way around that last part?”

Me: “Uh… no, sir. You cannot get married if you can’t prove that your previous marriage was dissolved.”

Client: “Well, see, I don’t want my fiancé to know that I was married before.”

Me: “Uh…” *shocked silence* “I’m sorry, sir, there is no way around that.”

Client: “Okay. Well, thanks anyway.”

(I foresee a long and prosperous relationship in their future.)

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