Date Is Suddenly On Fire

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Advice, Dating, Popular

(I, female, am on a first date with a guy from an online dating site. My roommate, male, and I had signed up on the site at the same time, and have a habit of “safety calling” each other in the middle of dates to make sure everything is going all right. The location for this particular date happens to be about two blocks from where my roommate works as a firefighter. On my way to the restaurant, I turn off the ringer on my phone because my ex-boyfriend is being annoying and calling me, and I want to be in a better frame of mind than dealing with him when I go on this date. Fast-forward about two hours; Date and I are having a fabulous time.)

Waitress: “Um, are you [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes?”

Waitress: *holding out a cordless phone* “I have a [Roommate] on the phone here for you?” *she looks REALLY uncomfortable, like she wondered if that’s my boyfriend on the phone and am I cheating with this guy*

Me: *look of horror on my face* “Oh, no! I turned off my ringer! He’s probably been trying to–! Oh, my God!” *takes phone* “I am SO sorry!”

Roommate: “You’d better be. I haven’t met this guy, I’m on the island until tomorrow, and if you hadn’t answered the phone, you’d have a big red truck showing up at the restaurant. I was going to send the guys to do a welfare check.”

Me: “Thanks, [Roommate]. That wouldn’t have been embarrassing at all.”

Roommate: “Leave your ringer on next time? I was worried.”

Me: “Aww, everything’s going fine. I’ll call you when I’m back at home.” *hangs up, hands phone back to waitress* “So… yeah… that’s the roommate I was telling you about. The one who calls to check in with me on every date?”

Date: “I could hear something about a truck?”

Me: “Yeah… his fire-hall is just up the street, and if he hadn’t been able to get ahold of me, he would have asked them to do a welfare check. Here. At the restaurant.”

Date: “That would have been fun…”

(Cue laughter from both of us. We had a great time on that date, and on the next few, but we didn’t really click. However, the roommate and I have been together for years now, so everything worked out wonderfully in the end!)


Romance Is Barred

| CT, USA | Flirting, Popular

(My boyfriend works at the bar in the restaurant we work at. Servers put the bar glasses on a platform on the other side of the bar, and then whoever is cleaning the glasses will move them over to the sink. When my boyfriend is at the sink, I bring the glasses to him so I can say a quick hello. This happens when a coworker is at the sink and I put the glasses on the other side.)

Coworker: “Whenever [Boyfriend] is at the sink, you bring him the cups. But I have to come all the way over here! It’s not fair!”

Me: “Hey, once you give me kisses and tell me I’m cute then I’ll bring the glasses to the sink for you.”

Coworker: *looks around* “Where’s [Boyfriend]? I don’t see him come here.” *jokingly leans in for a kiss*

Winning Her Over Again

| NSW, Australia | Marriage & Partners, Popular, Theme Of The Month

(It’s Valentine’s day and my husband of 2.5 years decides to take me out for dinner. We are randomly talking and holding hands over the table when an excitable older gentleman approaches us.)

Man: “Congratulations!” *pats my husband on the back* “Good on you, and on Valentine’s day!” *giggles and walks off*

(Later, as my husband is getting knives and forks for our meal the man whispers to him:)

Man: “Are you winning?”

Husband: *holds up his wedding ring and grins* “I won years ago.”


Mistaking The Missus For The Mistress

| Missouri, USA | Hall of Fame, Infidelity, Marriage & Partners, Popular, Top

(A waitress friend of mine has a couple who regularly comes in and jokes a lot together. One day, the man comes in with a different woman. This occurs as she’s getting ready to give them their check.)

Waitress: “You come back soon!”

Male customer: “I will.”

Waitress: *joking* “Oh, and you better be careful or I’ll have to tell your wife you were here with another woman.”

Female customer: “I am his wife. Who has he been here with?”

Waitress: “…I’ll take care of your check now.”


This Is The Definition You Are Looking For

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Dating, Popular

(It’s the third date or so. As is my habit, I make a typical reference to a property such as Star Wars.)

Date: “You’re a bit of a geek, aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, actually, a geek was a carnival sideshow where the performer would bite the head off a live chicken for the entertainment of the crowd.”

Date: “Do you realise how much of a geek you are for knowing what a geek actually is?”

(We’ve now been married for nine years.)