Romance Is Barred

| CT, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(My boyfriend works at the bar in the restaurant we work at. Servers put the bar glasses on a platform on the other side of the bar, and then whoever is cleaning the glasses will move them over to the sink. When my boyfriend is at the sink, I bring the glasses to him so I can say a quick hello. This happens when a coworker is at the sink and I put the glasses on the other side.)

Coworker: “Whenever [Boyfriend] is at the sink, you bring him the cups. But I have to come all the way over here! It’s not fair!”

Me: “Hey, once you give me kisses and tell me I’m cute then I’ll bring the glasses to the sink for you.”

Coworker: *looks around* “Where’s [Boyfriend]? I don’t see him come here.” *jokingly leans in for a kiss*

Winning Her Over Again

| NSW, Australia | Marriage & Partners, Popular, Theme Of The Month

(It’s Valentine’s day and my husband of 2.5 years decides to take me out for dinner. We are randomly talking and holding hands over the table when an excitable older gentleman approaches us.)

Man: “Congratulations!” *pats my husband on the back* “Good on you, and on Valentine’s day!” *giggles and walks off*

(Later, as my husband is getting knives and forks for our meal the man whispers to him:)

Man: “Are you winning?”

Husband: *holds up his wedding ring and grins* “I won years ago.”


Mistaking The Missus For The Mistress

| Missouri, USA | Hall of Fame, Infidelity, Marriage & Partners, Popular, Top

(A waitress friend of mine has a couple who regularly comes in and jokes a lot together. One day, the man comes in with a different woman. This occurs as she’s getting ready to give them their check.)

Waitress: “You come back soon!”

Male customer: “I will.”

Waitress: *joking* “Oh, and you better be careful or I’ll have to tell your wife you were here with another woman.”

Female customer: “I am his wife. Who has he been here with?”

Waitress: “…I’ll take care of your check now.”


This Is The Definition You Are Looking For

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Dating, Popular

(It’s the third date or so. As is my habit, I make a typical reference to a property such as Star Wars.)

Date: “You’re a bit of a geek, aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, actually, a geek was a carnival sideshow where the performer would bite the head off a live chicken for the entertainment of the crowd.”

Date: “Do you realise how much of a geek you are for knowing what a geek actually is?”

(We’ve now been married for nine years.)

Making Drinking An Art Form

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Marriage & Partners, Popular

(This takes place in a hotel bar. A husband and wife have entered from the hotel side before seeing the sights. We were all very jealous of their plans for the day.)

Husband: “How ’bout a glass of wine before we head to the art institute?”

Wife: “Only one?”

Husband: “Well… one… each… to start.”

Wife: “That’s better.”