Not A Match Made In Heaven

, | Maple, ON, Canada | Harassment

(It is my first day but second summer at this amusement/theme park. I am alone in the store but my manager is teaching five other trainees how to work cash. A customer walks in and I recognize her from a helping-the-homeless initiative my religious institute does with hers. She comes to the front with three tee-shirts and a keychain.)

Woman: “Oh, I remember you.”

Me: “Yes, hello. How have you been?”

Woman: “I am blessed, darling.”

Me: “That is wonderful.” *I go to scan her items but she stops me*

Woman: “Um… can I have someone who believes in Christ help me?”

Me: “Uh… it is only me on staff.”

Woman: “What about them?” *points to trainees*

Me: “They’re in training.”

Woman: “Well, I refuse to pay unless I get someone who is a god-fearing Christian. Get me your manager!”

Me: “Let me see what I can do.” *goes to manager and trainees* “This woman refuses to pay unless a god-fearing Christian helps her.”

Manager: “How does she know you’re not Christian?”

Me: “We’ve met before.” *in a whisper* “And she was the nicest then, either.”

Male Trainee: “I can help you.” *we walk over together and we finish cashing her out. When I give her the bags she doesn’t take them*

Woman: “Let me set you up with a nice Christian boy.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Woman: *giving me the evil eye* “Just give me your phone number and I can—”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Woman: “Let me talk to your manager!”

Me: “My manager doesn’t decide who I date. It is all up to me and if you don’t leave now I will call security.”

Woman: *grumbles under breath but takes bags and leaves*


Unable To Pickup On Her Diss-interest

| Denver, CO, USA | Harassment

Customer #2: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Hold on a moment, please.” *finishes talking to [Customer #1]*

(Customer #2 huffs and crosses his arms. He paces the floor even though I finish dealing with Customer #1’s problem in less than a minute.)

Me: *putting on the fake smile I use when dealing with difficult customers* “What can I help you with today, sir?”

Customer #2: “I had a funny pickup line I was gonna use but you made me wait so long I forgot!”

Me: “Isn’t that a shame.”

(I twirl my hair around my finger, prominently showing off my engagement ring.)

Customer #2: “Uh…” *walks sheepishly away*

That Would Be On Aisle Never

| Denver, CO, USA | Flirting

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find something?”

Me: “Sure, what are you looking for?”

Customer: “Your phone number.”

Me: “You’ll find it in your dreams, honey.”

Pillow-Talk Isn’t Cheap

| USA | Golden Years, Marriage & Partners

(In their first years of marriage, my parents decide to replace their old worn out pillows. Unfortunately for them the only place they check is the expensive local bedding store.)

Mother: *looking at pillows* “What about these?”

Father: *checking price tag* “These are thirty dollars each! We can’t afford that!”

(For the next two years my parents believed pillows were expensive until one day they were shopping at a popular department store and the noticed the MUCH cheaper pillow prices. They then bought ten pillows and threw their old flat ones away!)


The Gift Of A Good Comeback

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Harassment

(I work at an upscale fragrance shop.)

Man: “How much for this gift box of perfume?”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Man: “D***, I don’t even like her that much. Okay, how much do YOU cost?” *grins sickeningly*

(I’m rendered speechless for a moment, before looking down and noticing something he and I have in common.)

Me: “The price of both my divorce proceedings and yours, seeing as we’re both married.” *I hold up my hand with my wedding ring, then point to his own wedding ring* “Plus child support payments for my kid, yours if you have any, and tax.”

Man: “F****** h***, you really are operating highway robbery here!”

(He grudgingly paid for his purchase then walked out grumbling how his wife still wasn’t worth the price of the gift.)

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