That’s How The Christmas Cookie Crumbles

| Dating, Theme Of The Month, Top

(For Christmas, I make my boyfriend, who is in college, three dozen cookies. Since he is going home for the holidays, I give them to him a week early. I’m calling him to wish him a safe trip home.)

Me: “So, how did you like your Christmas present?”

Boyfriend: “Oh, they were great! I ate them all that night!”

Me: “What?! You ate three dozen cookies by yourself in one sitting?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I didn’t eat all of them. I gave half a dozen to my roommate because he wanted some.”

Me: “That was nice of you.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, I would’ve given him more but he was being an a**hole.”

Me: “How so?”

Boyfriend: “He wanted to know where I got them. I said you gave them to me for Christmas and he said, ‘Where’d she buy them?’ So I said, ‘She MADE them,’ and he said, ‘Oh, so you mean she bought one of those pouch things?’ I said, ‘No, she made them from scratch.’ He said, ‘There’s no way she made them! No one makes cookies from scratch any more, especially not young women!’ So, I told him that if he was going to be an a**, I was going to keep the rest of the cookies for myself. He insulted you by saying you couldn’t bake, so I had to eat all of them because he might have tried to steal some while I was sleeping.”

Me: “So, you ate them because he impugned my honor?”

Boyfriend: “Of course!”

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