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(My boyfriend and I have been disagreeing with each other for over an hour. We sound angry because of our tones, but we are speaking at a regular volume, so no yelling has occurred. Both of our individual parents tend to be very loud when they argue.)

Boyfriend: “Look, I wasn’t saying [what I thought he meant]. I was just saying that I think you need to calm down and—”

Me: “Wait… babe, are we arguing?”

Boyfriend: “I… I don’t know. Does this count as arguing?”

Me: “I don’t know. I’m used to screaming.”

Boyfriend: “Me too… huh… Wanna go and discuss this over ice cream and Doctor Who?”

Me: “I love you.”

(It’s been five days, and we still don’t know if we were arguing or not.)

(My husband and I got married two months ago. We are cuddling in bed.)

Me: “Did you know you were going to marry me?”

Husband: “No…”

Me: “Uh…”

Husband: “But you grew on me… like fungus!”

(I’m about to barbecue dinner, when I notice that there’s a hornets’ nest beginning to form on the cover and inside on the grill. I walk back into the house where my fiancé is preparing the sides in the kitchen. I grab one of the decorative wooden swords off the wall. My fiancé shouts from the kitchen.)

Fiancé: “What are you doing?”

Me: “There’s a hornets’ nest on the BBQ!”

Fiancé: “Not that sword! That one is pretty! Grab one of the ugly practice swords!”

(I grab one of the practice swords, and heads outside. Sometimes, I wonder what our neighbors think!)

(My husband comes home from work. I have our two children in the living room watching ‘The Wiggles’, while I do dishes in the kitchen. He walks into the kitchen, and I am dancing as I do dishes.)

Husband: “Honey, I’m ho—are you dancing?”

Me: “What? Hi hun! Yes, I’m dancing; what’s wrong with that?”

Husband: “You’re dancing to The Wiggles.”

Me: “Yeah, and?”

Husband: “You’re crazy; you know that?”

Me: “You married me.”

Husband: “Yeah, that was before you started dancing to The Wiggles.”