(I’m female, but people sometimes think I’m male, especially in photographs. My name is unisex, but I have a high voice. My classmates I chat with online are always putting me in group chats with a lot of other schoolmates that I don’t personally know. I’ve become friends with some of them in actual life. One male schoolmate I’ve been talking to online wants to meet after classes.)

Me: “Hi [name], nice to meet you offline.”

(He looks very surprised to see me.)

Schoolmate: “Wow, nice to meet you too!”

Me: “You look pretty surprised. Am I much different than I appeared to be?”

Schoolmate: “Oh, man, this is going to sound stupid. Please don’t be mad.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Schoolmate: “The photo you gave me online; I thought you were a guy.”

Me: “Ah, that happens at times. I’m used to being mistaken. Honestly, don’t worry about it. Wait, wasn’t I telling you about a necklace I got from my parents the other day? And the other girly stuff?”

Schoolmate: “Well, I guess you could say I’m used to it. I’ve dated guys who wear jewelry and that.”

Me: “Well, this is sure an interesting conversation. I didn’t know you were gay. I’m straight though.”

Schoolmate: “Do you think I could I ask you out? I’m not gay; I’m bi.”

Me: “You’re really asking me?”

Schoolmate: “Yes.”

Me: “Let’s give it a try!”

(A year later, we’re still together.)

Related:
The Hidden A-Gender

(My partner and I are talking through a messaging program while she’s out on the road getting groceries. I live in Europe, while she resides in the US.)

Partner: “Hey, I’m going to get myself a sub.”

Me: “Get me one!”

Partner: “But I can’t deliver it to you!”

Me: “Just push it through your phone!”

Partner: “But my connection is slow here; it’ll only arrive a few bits per second!”

Me: “That’s okay; I can’t eat it whole anyway.”

(I’m a known klutz; I commonly trip or fall. I have just purchased a new reusable water bottle, and I am proudly carrying it. Then, I drop it.)

Me: “UGH! See, this is why I can’t have nice things.”

Boyfriend: “You can have nice things.”

Me: “Well, I do have you!”

Boyfriend: “I have insurance.”

Related:
More Insurance, Less Assurance

(My husband and I text each other sometimes at work. The night before, we had watched ‘Game of Thrones’, which contained a scene with a bear and a maiden in a pit.)

Me: “Random thought. You wouldn’t sacrifice me to a bear for amusement if you get tired of me, would you?”

Husband: “No, wolverine would be funnier.”

Me: “Ooh, I would so huggle him! I would NEVER let him go. Wait—animal or X-Men?”

Husband: “Angry animal.”

Me: “Awww.”

(My husband and I are both big fans of the collective works of Joss Whedon. On the way to work, I’m watching out the window as my husband is driving. We often see geese on the grassy area to the side of the road, but this morning I see something new.)

Me: “Oh, my God, goslings! They’re so cute; I want to juggle them!”

Husband: *snorts* “I don’t think they’d appreciate that.”

(We ride for a little while in silence, and then I start singing a song I’ve got stuck in my head.)

Me: “…shiny new Australia!”

Husband: “Ha! You went from goslings, to Firefly, and worked your way over to Dr. Horrible didn’t you?”

Me: “Yup.”

Husband: “Two bodies—”

Me: “—one mind.”