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    Creating The Perfect Girlfriend

    | Poland | Marriage & Partners

    (My partner and I are big fans of video games, especially those where you can customise your character. We also compliment each other quite often.)

    Me: “Have I told you that you have really pretty eyebrows?”

    Partner: “No? Thank you!”

    Me: “Yes, very nice eyebrows. They have very cool shape. I would use them in character creator.”

    Fuzzy About Flirting

    | FL, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I work at a well-known theme park, in a role where I cannot speak to guests because it breaks the illusion. I’ve just seen a post on ‘Buzzfeed’ about what not to do when meeting people in my role. I point it out to my husband.)

    Me: “Yes, to all of these!”

    Husband: *after reading* “D***, I break one of them. I try to flirt and hit on a fuzzy. But the difference is that I’m successful. The character always comes back to my room with me.”

    Raising A Family Of True Barbarians

    | Orem, UT, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are both geeks. He’s reading ‘Memebase,’ and sees one about geek speed dating and Dragon Ball Z.)

    Husband: “So, if I were to die, what would you do?”

    Me: “Crush your enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women.” *which is from ‘Conan the Barbarian’*

    Husband: “This! This is why I married you.”

    Me: “Then I’d bring you back and kill you again for messing up my selfish plan to die first.”

    Husband: “Oh, that’s right! I did swear, by Grabthar’s Hammer, you shall be avenged!” *which is from Galaxy Quest*

    Me: “Our kids have no chance at being normal, do they?”

    Husband: “None.”

    Has The Last Word In This Relationship

    | MI, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is playing a video game while I’m sitting beside him and eating some chips. He will turn to me and open and close his mouth to signify he wants one, which I oblige. After the third or so time…)

    Me: “C’mon, honey. Use your words.”

    Boyfriend: “…nom nom nom?”

    Lovebite

    | CO, USA | Dating

    (I’m at a renaissance festival with my girlfriend. She is scratching a bug bite on her neck.)

    Girlfriend: “Ah! I hate the bugs in this state. The bites itch like crazy.”

    Me: “Here, let me help…”

    (I start scratching the bite on her neck. About ten seconds pass.)

    Me: “Wait… is this sweet or creepy?”

    Girlfriend: “I haven’t decided yet. But keep doing it.”


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