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    Category: Dating

    My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

    All You Need Is Love, Not

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are lying in bed, with a Beatles album on in the background.)

    Boyfriend: “Hmm, these Beatles lyrics… They go a bit overboard on the love stuff sometimes.”

    Me: *laughing* “Or maybe they genuinely just are that romantic?!”

    Boyfriend: “Nah. I mean- ‘I ain’t got nothing but love, babe, eight days a week’?! Sorry. I love you, but I’ve got other s***, too…”

    Got Your Hair In His Cross-Hairs

    | NY, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (I have long hair, while my boyfriend is completely bald because he has a large scar on his head where hair can’t grow. One night I am combing my hair before bed.)

    Boyfriend: “Hey, how long have you been growing out your hair?”

    Me: “Uh…11 years? Since I was 14, yeah.”

    (He falls silent and watches me brush my hair for a few moments.)

    Boyfriend: “Can I have it?”

    No Skin Off His Nose To Have No Nose On His Face

    | KS, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (My boyfriend manages valet at a local hospital. They have to stand outside the building waiting for the customers to come up. This winter has been the coldest we’ve seen in a while and this particular week we were expecting days with wind chills at 35 below zero.)

    Me: “Make sure you bundle up tomorrow. Wind chill at 35 below zero.”

    Boyfriend: “I know. It’s going to suck. I hope not many people will show up.”

    Me: “I hope so, too. I don’t want you to get frostbite.”

    Boyfriend: “Me, too. I like all my fingers and toes.”

    Me: “And your nose.”

    Boyfriend: “I think I can live without my nose. Then it won’t be in the way when I kiss you.”

    Organ Failure, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    Themed Giveaway Email:

    (I’m watching the show ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ One of the patients comes out of a coma after 16 years to find that his family has moved on. As I’m watching, I turn to my boyfriend.)

    Me: “[Boyfriend], if I went into a coma for 16 years, would you wait for me?”

    Boyfriend: “If you went into a coma for 16 years, I would harvest your organs for cash.”

    Organ Failure

    A Happy Nine Lifetimes Together

    | MI, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (My boyfriend’s family recently had to put down both their cat and dog within a month of each other.)

    Boyfriend: “Have you seen those “My girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn’t want a cat, so we compromised and got a cat” things?”

    Me: “I want a cat!”

    Boyfriend: “I want a cat, too, but everything I love dies.”

    Me: “I’m not dead.”

    Boyfriend: “Not yet…”

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