• Friends Make A Boob Out Of You
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Dating

    My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

    Use Them To Get The Breast Stuff

    | SC, USA | Dating

    (I am at the self check-out.)

    Boyfriend: *looks at me* “Your boobs look really great in that shirt.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, you should show them off more”

    Me: “But I’m dating you…”

    Boyfriend: “I don’t care. Use them to get stuff. Use them to get me stuff.”

    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 14

    | Euless, TX, USA | Dating, Zombies

    (My boyfriend and I are lying in bed while I am revising his resume. I decide to ask the question.)

    Me: “If there was a zombie apocalypse, would you pick me to be on your survival team?”

    (I roll over onto my back so I can look him in the eye.)

    Boyfriend: “Do I have to?”

    Me: “…”

    Boyfriend: “I don’t think you’d survive very long.”

    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 13
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 12
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 11

    They’ll Propose During The Next Star Trek Movie Instead

    | Washington, D.C., USA | Dating

    (I am in bed with my boyfriend watching TV. We are pretty much engaged but he hasn’t officially proposed yet. After, a trailer for some romantic comedy comes on:)

    Me: “Do you want to see that just to see [Popular Actress] in her underwear?”

    Boyfriend: “No. I don’t like romantic comedies, and neither do you.”

    (We high-five.)

    Not Predicting A Happily Ever After Here

    | Germany | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are walking through the city and spot a little girl who has her face painted as a tiger. I should mention I’m not girly or anything at all and I sometimes call my boyfriend my hero as a nickname.)

    Boyfriend: *joking* “Oooh, wanna have your face painted too? As a princess?!”

    Me: “Princess? Huh?! But wait, yeah, you’re my hero, then!”

    Boyfriend: “Awesome, now we just have to decide if your mom or mine will be the dragon!”

    Pimp My Joke

    | PA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend likes to tease me, and after a bad day, his joking is annoying yet cheering me up as we head to his office.)

    Me: *laughing* “You are such an insufferable d*** sometimes.”

    Boyfriend: “Yes, I know.”

    (He then gives me some dollars bills, which I use for the bus.)

    Boyfriend: “…At least you get paid for the privilege.”

    Me: “You know, it feels wrong to accept money for that. Like a weird kind of prostitution.”

    Boyfriend: “It’s called pester-tution.”

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