(My boyfriend and I have just moved in together, and our new apartment has spotty wifi in some rooms. I have been the go-to ‘IT girl’ my whole life, with sort of a magic touch for technology.)

Boyfriend: “Ugh, the wifi’s out again.”

Me: “What? Let me see.”

(I walk over.)

Boyfriend: “Yay! It’s back up! Thank you, wifi fairy!”

Me: “Wifi fairy?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, you’re the wifi fairy from the Router’s castle in the land of the Internet! You bring the wifi with you wherever you go!”

Me: “You’re nuts; I love you.”

Boyfriend: “Oh, s***. It froze. Now I have to summon the IT princess. Wifi fairy, can you contact the land of the Internet, and ask them to send the IT princess, please?”

Me: “Sorry, dude, your princess is in another castle.”

(I am snuggling up to my boyfriend while we go to sleep. I am a terrible sleeper, and can never stay still. My arm’s going from his shoulder, to his hip, to his head, etc…)

Boyfriend: “Find a place to perch.”

Me: “I can’t.”

Boyfriend: “Then get off the d*** roost!”

(My boyfriend is drunk, and has decided to seduce me.)

Boyfriend: “Where have you been all my… last 10 minutes?”

(I burst into hysterics.)

Boyfriend: “Don’t laugh at my sexy; I’m being sexy.”

Me: “Oh, yes, very good.”

Boyfriend: “This is going on Not Always Romantic, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yep.”

(He falls onto the bed beside me and pouts.)

Boyfriend: “Can you at least say the pick up line worked?”

(My girlfriend and I are both women. She has never seen any ‘Star Trek’ before, but is interested in seeing the upcoming film. We’re in my basement watching the 2009 film. Kirk’s academic hearing starts. My girlfriend has literally seen two seconds of Kirk and Spock looking at each other.)

Girlfriend: “Ship it.”

Me: “It took you two seconds to latch onto the fandom’s most popular pairing, bravo!”

(My boyfriend has recently bought some lottery tickets. We are talking about what we would do with the money if he won.)

Boyfriend: “What would you do if I won the jackpot?”

Me: “Marry you.”