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    Category: Dating

    My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

    Squirreling Away On A Decent Proposal

    | QLD, Australia | Dating

    (My boyfriend of seven years and I are texting while he is at work.)

    Boyfriend: “Change of plans. Not proposing to you on Wednesday.”

    Me: “Oh.”

    Boyfriend: “Yep. Don’t ask. Secret squirrel business.”

    Me: “Now I’m really curious…”

    Reading Too Much Into It

    | MA, USA | Dating

    (I am an avid reader and have an excessively large book collection. I live in a small apartment with not much space for book shelves and furniture so a lot of my books are stacked on the floor in various places. My girlfriend has just tripped over a stack.)

    Girlfriend: “That’s the sixth time I’ve tripped over your stupid books. You have to get rid of some of this clutter.”

    Me: “Yeah, I can clearly see this isn’t going to work out.”

    Girlfriend: “I meant like the kitchen table or that god-awful sofa in the living room. We can get a low book shelf and put some cushions on it.”

    Me: *interrupting her* “Never mind. Let’s get married.”

    Articulate It For Him

    | Faribault, MN, USA | Dating

    (I’m spending the night at my boyfriend’s house, but I forgot my phone. I mainly use it to read, so I’m going a little stir crazy and he knows why. My boyfriend is very into guns.)

    Boyfriend: “I’ve got plenty for you to read!”

    Me: “I really don’t want to read about guns. Thank you for the thought, though.”

    (My boyfriend leaves the room for a few minutes, and then comes back with magazines that are adult in nature.)

    Boyfriend: “I never read these, anyway. Tell me what the articles say.”

    Me: “I knew there was a reason I love you.”

    Boys Are Made Of Slugs And Snails

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m lying in bed with my boyfriend, and he’s telling me about building a shelter for the night as part of a scout troup thing.)

    Boyfriend: “… but maybe I shouldn’t have used that bark because I woke up with like 40 slugs all around. On the shelter, my sleeping bag, everything. I mean, if it had been you that crawled into my sleeping bag during the night it would have been great. I would have stayed there all day. But not the slugs. I like you more than 40 slugs.”

    But In The Breast Way Possible, Part 2

    | London, England, UK | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I (also female) are having a playful competition over instant messaging as to who can give the nicest compliment. Note: I have quite small breasts.)

    Me: “Your laugh is so cute.”

    Girlfriend: “Thanks, love. Your everything is cute.”

    Me: “Your face is so cute. I win.”

    Girlfriend: “Nah, I win because I have you.”

    Me: “I am the booby prize.” *looks down my top* “Although I’m not very booby, to be fair.”

    But In The Breast Way Possible

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