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  • November Theme Of The Month: Crushes!

    Category: Dating

    My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

    Calculated To A Fault

    | PA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have just had a sort-of fight, and I am feeling very guilty as I overreacted due to unrelated stress, making it mostly my fault.)

    Me: “I just hate that it’s all my fault, you know?

    Boyfriend: “I’ll take 10% of the blame if you like.”

    Me: “Oh, only 10%? How generous of you.”

    Boyfriend: “All right, 20%, but that’s my final offer, and if you reject it, it’s back to 10%.”

    Me: “…25%?”

    Boyfriend: “20%.”

    Me: “…Fine. 20%.”

    Boyfriend: “I love you, so I’ll make it 22.5%.”

    Taking A Minute’s Break

    | ON, Canada | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are going to hang out after working out together. He is prioritizing his time out loud while I am packing up my stuff.)

    Boyfriend: “Okay, it’s 11:20 now, I need to leave by 12:15, so we should break up by 12:05.”

    Me: *stops what I’m doing and gives him a look*

    Boyfriend: “…Okay, I probably should’ve worded that better.”

    Me: *overly dramatic* “Oh, c’mon babe, I know it was a hard workout, but can’t we talk about this?”

    Boyfriend: “I probably—”

    Me: “I mean, especially planning it down to the minute? That’s kind of harsh isn’t it?”

    Boyfriend: “Break out. I should’ve said break out.”

    (Later, I check my watch and it’s 12:05.)

    Me: “So, are we breaking up now?”

    Making A Grievous Mistake

    | SC, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend’s uncle had just passed away. Also, my boyfriend has a habit of touching my butt in public. We are in the frozen food aisle.)

    Boyfriend: *puts his hand on my butt and leaves it there*

    (After a minute or so I turn to look at him.)

    Boyfriend: “What? I’m grieving. Besides, Uncle would approve.”

    Love Is In The Airborne

    | Asheville, NC, USA | Dating

    (I’m eating a box of Nerds while watching TV with my boyfriend. To be silly I toss a Nerd at him. He doesn’t notice.)

    Me: “I threw a Nerd at you.”

    (He proceeds to pounce on me.)

    Boyfriend: “I threw a Nerd at you!”

    Playing The (Casse)Role Of Husband

    | Sweden | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have just come home from work. We are not married, but have been living together for two years now. I usually cook, and he does dishes.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ll start on the dinner now since it will take a bit longer.”

    Boyfriend: “What are we having?”

    Me: “I thought I’d make some sort of spinach pasta casserole. You said you wanted a casserole!”

    Boyfriend: “I did? When? I don’t even know what a casserole is! What is it?”

    Me: “I’m not sure either… but I think it can be pretty much anything that is finished up in the oven. And why did you ask for it if you didn’t know what it was?”

    Boyfriend:Um…” *pause* “I just thought that would be something a good husband would say…”

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