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  • Very Soppy Soup
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  • Category: Dating

    My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

    Providing Loving Support

    | England, UK | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are messaging online when the conversation turns to males versus females.)

    Me: “Ah, to be a guy… It must be wonderful.”

    Boyfriend: “It has its perks.”

    Me: “But… you don’t have boobs.”

    Boyfriend: “I admit they are cool.”

    Me: “On the other hand, bras can be stupidly expensive.”

    Boyfriend: “I’ll hold them for you?”

    Me: “…”

    She Drives Me Batty

    | TX, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is telling me his favorite word to say, and then sends me a text with a picture of a bat being combed using a toothbrush.)

    Boyfriend: “Fledermaus. Hint: the literal translation is fly-mouse. AKA a bat.”

    Me: “Rabies.”

    Boyfriend: “You must admit that bat is cute.”

    Me: “I still think you’re cuter. I’m not comparing you to a bat or anything. Just saying.”

    Boyfriend: “You’re far cuter. Prior disclaimer implied.”

    Me: “Thanks.”

    Boyfriend: “Attention everyone! My girlfriend is cuter than a bat.”

    Me: “I feel so accomplished…”

    Until Tactlessness Do Us Part

    | Canada | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I are hanging out at home and we start saying romantic things to each other.)

    Girlfriend: “I love you, baby.” *hugs*

    Me: “I love you too, angel.” *hugs* “I want you in my life as long as possible.”

    Girlfriend: “As long as possible?”

    Me: “Yeah, I mean you could die.”

    (She didn’t appreciate that too much!)

    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 10

    | BC, Canada | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are sitting at home on a regular night in. We’ve both been working all day, and are getting pretty tired!)

    Boyfriend: *resting his chin on my head* “Om nom.  I’m going to bite your head and kiss your brains.”

    Me: “Aw, zombie love!”

    Boyfriend: “Would you still love me if I were a zombie?”

    Me: “Of course I would!”

    Boyfriend: *falls silent for a moment, before nodding sagely* “That’s because I’ve eaten the part of your brain that controls your good judgement.”

    Related:
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 9
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 8
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 7

    Refusing To Put This To Bed

    | IL, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are at our separate families’ homes for winter break from college, and I have a habit of messing up his freshly made bed whenever I can.)

    Me: “So when I come over on Saturday, I’m totally gonna mess up your bed!”

    Boyfriend: “Well, what if I mess it up ahead of time, hmm?”

    Me: “Then I will make it, and then mess it up!”

    Boyfriend: *laughs* “Okay, what about if my comforter isn’t there?”

    Me: “Then I will find one, make your bed with it, and then mess it up!”

    Boyfriend: “What if I remove every comforter from this house?”

    Me: “Then I will lie you down on the bed, lie beside you, state that we are comfy so we are the new comforter, and then mess it up by rolling on top of you!”


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