(My fiancé is at MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) school for the Marines. We call each other at least once a week. He calls just before bed.)

Fiancé: “I have training in the morning, and I have to get up super early.”

Me: “Aw! Does that mean you have to go?”

Fiancé: “Yes, but…”

(I wait for something romantic.)

Fiancé: “…like a bean burrito… I shall return!”

(Ever since my fiancé has known me, I have kept small pets like fish or hamsters. After work, my fiancé sees the pet tank empty and sitting on the counter.)

Fiancé: “What happened to Skittles?”

Me: “Skittles?”

Fiancé: “Your hamster.”

Me: “Oh! I thought I named this one Dexter. He’s dead.”

Fiancé: “You got him two months ago! How can he be dead already?!”

Me: “I don’t know! He was rolling across the floor in his little hamster ball this morning, but by lunchtime he was dead. I put him in a tissue box and buried him in the backyard next to the other ones.”

Fiancé: “You’re not allowed to have any more pets—ever.”

Me: “What about a dog?”

Fiancé: “No.”

Me: “A cute little kitty cat? Cats are pretty independent.”

Fiancé: “No! No more pets ever!”

Me: “What are you going to tell our daughter when she asks for a pet?”

Fiancé: “I’ll tell her that her mommy is the Grim Reaper for pets… assuming she survives you.”

(My fiancé and I have two pet rabbits. We each have a clear cut favorite of the two of them. He likes our friendly, outgoing mix, ‘Azura’, and I favor our sweet but shy lionhead, ‘Navi’.)

Me: “You and Azura look alike.”

(He looks at me like I’m crazy.)

Me: “Yep, you do. You even have the same expression right now and everything. You know, they say owners start to look like their pets after a while.”

Fiancé: “Huh, I guess you’re right. I mean, look at Navi.”

(I look down, and her mane is sticking out every which way from her face.)

Fiancé: “She looks like you—a lot.”

Me: “In the morning?”

Fiancé: “Nope, all the time.”

(My fiancé and I are cuddling in bed. I keep trying to get out of bed, but he keeps wrapping his arm around me.)

Me: “Stop it! I wanna get out!”

Fiancé: “But I wanna cuddle you!”

Me: “Jeez, you’re like a Tentacool using wrap!”

Fiancé: “Tentacool used wrap! You can’t escape!”

(He tries to cuddle me again.)

Me: “Aha! I have the ability Rough Skin! [Fiance's name] was hurt!”

Fiancé: “…d*** it.”

(He actually lets me go!)

Related:
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 11
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 10
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 9
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 8
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 7
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 6
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 5
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 4
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 3
Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 2
Good Thing They Caught Each Other

(My fiancé and I decide to have a little bit of fun, and I ask him the ever-famous zombie apocalypse question.)

Me: “Imagine that the zombie apocalypse started, and I got infected. What would you do?”

Fiancé: “I’d make the last few moments of your life the most wonderful you’ve ever had. Then I’d bind you up with explosives before you passed. Once you had turned, I would throw you off the roof into a group of zombies, and detonate the explosives when they came to investigate. What would you do?”

Me: “Your idea sounds appealing, but then I’d feel like I was desecrating your corpse. However, that would help me live in the long run. I could also see the fun in chaining you up in the backyard as a pet zombie, but that almost seems a bit cruel. Also, depending on how painful the ‘zombie-fication’ is, and how sentient one would be after becoming a zombie, I could also see myself purposefully turning into a zombie as well. That way we could terrorize the living together forever, or until some stupid survivor came along and shot us. But then again, that could mean turning into a monstrosity with nothing but murderous instincts, unless I was somehow able to maintain a sense of etiquette and morals, and choose to eat steak instead of brains…”

Fiancé: “… I love you.”

Related:
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 19
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 18
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 17
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 16
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 15
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 14
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 13
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 12
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 11
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 10
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 9
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 8
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 7
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 6
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 5
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 4
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 3
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 2
Till Undeath Do Us Part